Possibly

I may see some Christmas spirit peeking into the window.

I had a great acupuncture session yesterday. She said my lower abdomen is warm, which is an improvement in itself because most of the time it is coldish and she uses a burnt herb to add some heat. She did some new points around the bottom of my rib cage, in addition to the normal kidney and liver and spleen ones. I also asked her to do the one on the top of my head which is to lift the spirit. Goodness knows my spirit has been glued to the floor lately.

Since I am not temping or using my monitor, I have no idea when/if I ovulated already- I had some bloating and some crampy feelings on Tuesday night, but that was only CD12, which makes today CD15- and in nonmedicated cycles, I've usually ovulated by now. But who knows. We've actually covered our bases pretty well, without even "knowing" I think. But it is nice to just feel in the moment and go with it, without having that moment forced because you got a peak on your monitor that morning.

Up until yesterday, I was 70% sure this would be kind of a sad Christmas (hostessing issues notwithstanding). Now I am only 20% sure. That is progress, people!!!

I have finally made my list (of things to do each day from now till the 21st! Yes, I am type A), and I am finally looking forward to going out shopping for people. I feel like I have some energy to devote to this season, which is more than I can say for the time up until now.

This season has been pretty dark and lonely and disappointing so far. And what's worse is that I feel that alot of you all are experiencing the same darkness as me. I hope that we have alot of light coming, and that right now is like what they say that it's the darkest right before the sun rises (I think, because the moon has also "set", so there is no light at all?).

Here's the song in my heart today. I still feel unsure, wary, and a little bummed, but I can possibly see a light at the end of this tunnel: