Why do I even try?

It's official. The sister who lives closest to me wants to have more dinners at their townhouse while our family is here (other than, you know, the most important Christmas Day meal!!!), and they don't want to stay here more than Christmas Eve.

Why did I just go buy tons of dairy-free things that BIL can have?
Why did I buy snacks BIL can have for their hospitality basket in the room we have for them?
Why have I been looking forward to late night card games with everyone here and empty bottles of wine?
Why did I think for one second they would put aside this passive-aggressive competitive thing they have with us because we have a single family house and they have a townhouse right now? (I don't know why us having a house makes them so awkward. We are 2 years older. I'm sure in 2 years they will have a house, too.)
Why did I think they would embrace us hosting Christmas, and know that their time will come?

I can't do much. I can't have a baby. I can't pretend like our town has all the cool/hip bars and restaurants that theirs does. I can't regale visitors with hundreds of pictures from all our globe-trotting adventures. I can't pull a bottle of wine from our extensive diversified collection (a case I just bought from the winery doesn't count).

But I can knock hostessing out of the park. I can open our home to 6 family members (with exactly as many beds as needed!) for a long, relaxing holiday celebration. I can make up hospitality baskets for each of our three bedrooms, including snacks and water and glasses, so that our guests will feel at home. I can make you dinners that you will dream about later. I can buy new Christmas sheets just for our guests so that their sleep is restful. I can modify recipes so that people who are allergic to dairy can share in the meal. I can make a fire in our cozy wood stove to set the ambiance for the evening.

But why do I even try, if no one is going to be here?

This is bringing alot of insecurities of mine to the surface, and damned if it has to happen right before Christmas. Hosting Christmas is the only thing I can do. My parents and sisters and brother are the only family we have, and is it so awful to want us all to be under the same roof for a few days? As I told my sister this afternoon, if they decide to move 15 minutes from here in a big house and want to host Christmas in a future year, you better believe I am going to bring my dogs and park my butt at her place for the Christmas holiday, without feeling slighted because no one went to my house, too.

They go on all these fancy trips and go to all these fancy bars and have all these fancy hobbies, so I feel that we are boring compared to them. It is true that we are total homebodies, but our home is inviting and warm and relaxing. It is true that we don't have much in the way of excitement, unless you count playing ball with our dogs in the yard.

They are going on a 4-month cruise next fall (long story), and they are supposedly going to try to get pregnant during the cruise. I am worried sick that they are going to come home (at Christmas, no less), and have a gabillion pictures and tales to share about their amazing adventures AND be able to announce that they are due in the summer!!!! Seriously, kill me now.

How do we even stack up to them? All I can do is try to host the holidays, but apparently we are not good enough. You know what I think would get everyone to stay? Oh wait, the reason we have enough beds for everyone is because there is no nursery....

$100 bet that on the 26th of Christmas it is just me (crying) and Mr. A sitting down to a dinner that would feed 10 people.