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Monday, February 21, 2011

Assumptions

I am here: gratefully, thankfully, humbly, unbelievably pregnant at 7w6d.

I have my first midwife appointment on Friday at 8w3d. I want so much to have another ultrasound to see/hear that precious heartbeat again, but from what I can tell, because everything is going seemingly well, and since we already had one, our next peek at our little one won't be until 20 weeks?!?!????!

I cannot even put into words how thankful I am to have had a good, uneventful pregnancy so far. No bleeding, and plenty of symptoms (although I think relatively mild compared to some others' experiences).

But it is just CRAZY to me how the rest of the world assumes that once you are pregnant, unless you are a twin/multiples mama or you start bleeding profusely, that things are all hunky dory and that you don't need more frequent ultrasounds and that your healthy baby will be here around your due date. I guess once you get to 9-10ish weeks, the practitioner can hear the heartbeat on the doppler, but STILL. When you have been through infertility and are used to ultrasounds every other day, one every 15 weeks is unbearable!!!!

I sure hope that my midwife can empathize with a pregnant-after-infertility patient. I fully plan on asking to try to hear the heartbeat and if we can't, then if I can have an ultrasound to make sure.

I wish people wouldn't take the miracle of life for granted. I am sorry, insurance company, if ultrasounds are expensive. There is a miracle happening right now, and maybe if you gave people more chances to witness that miracle, they wouldn't consider it to be so normal and so easy and so sure.
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19 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2011 at 9:03 AM

    I think you're my favourite pregnant lady right now--you sound so eternally grateful for this and I appreciate that still being stuck here in the wasteland.

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  2. LeahFebruary 21, 2011 at 9:04 AM

    I totally understand how you feel! I had my first midwives appointment at 9 weeks, and the midwife could not yet hear the heartbeat on the doppler. Well, that was NOT good enough for me, and I demanded an ultrasound, told her my history, and said I wasn't leaving today UNTIL I KNEW. Well, she kindly obliged and I got to see my beautiful baby kicking away on the ultrasound monitor. So my advice, be demanding. They are there to help you and to make you feel better. If you want one, ask for it. Thinking of you. :)

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  3. KateFebruary 21, 2011 at 9:07 AM

    I agree with what runnyyolk said. You are definitely my most favorite pregnant lady right now. I love that you continue to appreciate the miracle of life and have not instantly jumped on the 'complain every minute' bandwagon that it appears most every pregnant woman jumps on.

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  4. BridgetFebruary 21, 2011 at 9:26 AM

    I agree with Leah, ask for one if you feel like you need it. You are the patient and they need to take your concerns seriously. So happy for you!

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  5. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    I'll ditto everyone's comments about you being their favorite pregnant lady. You are certainly one of mine! :)

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  6. JohannaFebruary 21, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    To be honest, it's highly unlikely the doppler will pick up a heartbeat that early, especially with a first pregnancy. Your uterus isn't above your pubic bone yet, which can make it hard to pick up. I didn't hear C's heartbeat with the doppler until 12 weeks. Hopefully, if they can't find it, they will do an ultrasound. Mine did. Hope all goes well on Friday!!!

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  7. JohannaFebruary 21, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    That was Johanna; I was logged into my other account! lol

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  8. JohannaFebruary 21, 2011 at 10:12 AM

    Let's see if I can set a comment record. I was wrong on the dates. I was actually about 13.5 weeks when I heard it on doppler. It was at 12 weeks that they still had a hard time finding it and did the ultrasound. They didn't do it because they were worried but because they knew I was freaking out!

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  9. CocoFebruary 21, 2011 at 11:11 AM

    I so agree. Waiting is interminable. *hugs* I really hope they'll do an ultrasound. If not, you can always ask about "optional" or "sneak peek" ultrasounds. My OBs office will let you schedule an ultrasound any time you feel like it, without a doctor's approval, for basically whatever reason, and they just charge you a $25 fee for a quick peek and don't charge insurance. I'm sure that other offices must to something similar.Good luck Friday! Hoping to hear the little beat beat beat! :)

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  10. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    I just love reading these updates from you! I still can't believe you're pregnant - I'm so happy for you!
    I hope your midwife cooperates and will let you try to hear the heartbeat.

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  11. Kristin (kekis)February 21, 2011 at 10:19 PM

    20 weeks??? That's crazy! Any PAIFer needs much more peace of mind, so I'd definitely ask for u/s any time you think/feel you'd like one.

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  12. Praying for HopeFebruary 22, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    I understand. I was happy to have had u/s's at 6, 8, 10 and 13 weeks (the last was to check the nuchal translucency to determine the risk for downs). I found OB/midwife appointments every four weeks excruciating. After every appointment, I was on cloud nine for a day or two. Then the worry would set back in and I'd be counting the days until my next appointment. There really should be exceptions for those dealing with pregnancy after infertility.

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  13. AdeleFebruary 22, 2011 at 11:52 AM

    Here's hoping for a very understanding, sympathetic midwife. The truth is that women who have been through hell to get here DO deserve special handling.

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  14. ALFebruary 22, 2011 at 11:59 AM

    I hope your midwife is sympathetic and lets you have another scan. My doc had a hard time getting the hb on the doppler at 11 w and I got another U/S, so hopefully you get the same. Even at nearly 27w, I'm still like, how can I know things are going okay in there?! It's been 8 weeks since I've seen my little one!

    And knife in my heart about every other pregnant woman complaining from the other commenters. ouch.

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  15. TrishaFebruary 22, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    That's crazy! I hope she will hear your concern and give you one! It would drive me crazy to have to wait that long. How are you feeling?

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  16. MelissaFebruary 22, 2011 at 1:40 PM

    I agree. You are one of my favorite pregnant people right now. So full of hope & so grateful.

    p.s. and yep, if you want an ultrasound - ask for one. Don't let them push you around.

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  17. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 5:48 PM

    I hope your appointment goes well today. It is so hard to wait four weeks in between appointments, but it does get a little easier once you start to feel movement and know that he/she is ok in there from that. I hope you get some confirmation!

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  18. BeckyFebruary 22, 2011 at 7:32 PM

    I think it will be difficult to hear the heartbeat on the doppler so early in your pregnancy. I say explain your history and let her know you absolutely have to have an ultrasound for your peace of mind. I think pregnancy after infertility is different and should be treated differently. I am praying!

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  19. The WifeFebruary 22, 2011 at 9:55 PM

    Just wait till you have to wait till 12w for the next doppler/appt. Waiting for each monthly appt filled me with so much anxiety. It was praying almost constantly that kept me from buying/renting a doppler of my own. I felt like I had to leave something up to God.

    BTW my first doppler experience was at 9 wks.

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