Trying to be positive (updated w/ result)

So I go for 7dpo progesterone bloodwork this morning, and I'm hoping it will be a conclusive number, one way or another (as far as whether the medication has allowed a strong ovulation, etc.). I definitely think I felt a strong ovulation, that is for sure!!

I had a headache last night, which is normal for the latter part of the 2ww for me (albeit a tiny bit early since I was only 6dpo yesterday), so I was definitely fighting disappointment that this cycle is a bust. But then I tried to remind myself of all the women (and all I've read that concurs) who get their normal 2ww things but are pregnant after all! And then I further reminded myself that K and I are only thinking positive thoughts with regards to the outcome of our first medicated cycles!! I was also on the cranky side after I got home from volunteering (not because of volunteering, though) and feeling pretty exhausted after cleaning up from dinner. At least me and Mr. A splashed around in the pool before dinner, and I was able to unwind in the hammock after dinner and finally finish my book!

I'll do my best to update with my progesterone results when I get them!

**Progesterone level was 16.4! They said that is a very good number (for whatever that is worth), so if I'm not pregnant this cycle, I'll repeat the same cl.omid dosage next month. Come onnnnn baby- let's not need another cycle!**

Restless Sleeps = Babble

I haven't really slept that well for the past two nights or so. I'm not sure if it's an effect from cl.omid or not. I have these crazy unsettling dreams, and then (especially this morning) I wake up feeling unrested. Blast!

Saturday morning the first thing that popped into my head when I woke up was "this is the first day of the rest of your life". Huh? Given my weakness in reading into thoughts/circumstances, I don't usually let my brain run around thinking such provocative things.

This morning, I totally forgot- like, it didn't even cross my mind- to put the coffee on before I left to take Banana for her/our walk. Mr. A calls my cell when her and I are almost home- "Is the coffeemaker broken or something?" HA! OOPS. I don't know what I was thinking- apparently I wasn't- I never forget to make the coffee before I leave for the walk!

We spent the whole weekend doing outdoor/gardening work. My shoulders are a little pink! The weeds in my back flower bed are just out-of-this-world. On my walks around the neighborhood, I never see such rampant weeds as are back there. Why do I never see other people battling such mutants?! Do they weed by moonlight so as to put on a mask that their flowerbeds are so well-behaved that they don't invite weeds? Aah! Of course about 3 hours of my afternoon on Saturday involved floating around in our pool with my book, but I want to emphasize how much weeding I did. Haha. Here is a photo of some carrots from our garden:

Isn't that cool! I have thought alot about how amazing it is that these different vegetables grow into relatively big things from such tiny seeds. It is really incredible- the carrot seeds especially are SO tiny. We also took advantage of the 50% off sale on actual young plants, and added some more tomatoes, some hot peppers, some green peppers, some cantelopes, and some watermelons to our garden! Hopefully it's not too late....we are loving the fresh veggies for sure!!! Maybe eating healthier will cooperate with cl.omid.....

My friend T and her husband's meeting with Be.thany on Friday went awesome! They were told the wait for an infant is 2-3 years. Wow. So needless to say, they've felt called to start the process now instead of waiting to start in January. I am praying so hard that their wait is drastically less than projected! They are feeling peaceful about the process, no matter how long the wait, though, because they know the child and birthmother whom God has set for them will be revealed in His perfect time. God is so good!

I'm 6dpo, and I don't really feel pregnant. Hilarious of me to note, I know, because most little ones haven't even implanted by now, but I was hoping for some early "hello" from down there! I have noticed that the last two nights I'm falling asleep in my recliner by like 9pm, but I'm usually more tired in the 2ww anyway, and I know that it's also a cl.omid thing. Tomorrow morning I go for my 7dpo progesterone check, and I'm hoping for good results (and a healthy baby in March). Otherwise (if no baby), I'm hoping for less-than-stellar results so they will adjust the medication accordingly so maybe we have a better shot. That sounds a little weird to think, but let's be honest here. If I need more clo.mid, I'd like more clo.mid!

I think I've babbled enough for one day! I'll leave you with pictures of the calzones we made for dinner on Friday night!!

Love it

Sometimes I am just so thankful for my life. Even my life right now, with no baby in the cradle. (Hopefully in March, haha!) But back to being thankful-

Mr. A and I each had tough days at work, and after walking Banana, we spent some great time relaxing in the pool. It was so nice just to swim and float around and not worry about time and talk about what we'd do if we had unlimited cash (e.g., buy a sailboat, put up a fence around all around our yard, add french doors to my office, replace the sliding doors in our rental property, start a trust fund for our kids). All of these things are just dreams, and it was so nice just to dream with my cherished hubby. Incredibly, nothing sorrowful relating to our lack of kids even entered our heads- it was all positive things that we can do with our kids- 100% assuming they will be here at some point!

I had thawed ground beef to make burgers for dinner, and I was racking my brain to figure out a starchy side without heating up the oven for french friends/potatoes. In a flash of genius, the solution came to us- potato salad! I honestly thought to myself- gosh, if we already had kids, I doubt we would be discussing what I can spontaneously make for a dinner side! I was basking in "just us"...I think Mr. A was, too. I hadn't ever made potato salad before, and honestly it's not usually one of my favorite things, but I followed a simple recipe and added some scallions and oregano from our garden, and I think it turned out delicious!

I had a minor freakout about our timing this afternoon- we didn't get a chance to "get together" yesterday, and when I was thinking about the cramping I had last night, I was suddenly very worried today that I didn't ovulate until yesterday, meaning our last baby making was 2 days prior, on Monday. EEK! But then I emailed K, and she luckily talked me down from my craze. I am 98% sure I ovulated Monday night, so I think it was just a little micromanaging on my part. Me? Micromanaging? Never! Haha! I am just so thankful that God has brought this medicine into my life, and I don't want to mess things up! Of course it is all in God's control anyway- if He wanted one little tadpole to stick around from Monday, you can bet that tadpole would be there!

I think I'm still handling clo.mid pretty well, so I am glad about that! Now for that BFP in 2 weeks...boy, would I love that!

blahhhh

I am feeling tired and blah tonight. I had to drive up to my office today- the round trip takes about 6 hours total, including office time- so that is always an energy sink. I did manage to make pizza (homemade crust, etc.) for dinner and float around in the pool for a while after I got the dishes all cleaned up. Mr. A has to do some software update for his company at midnight tonight and prior to that he's at a friend's house helping with their chicken coop (ha! yes, we live in the country!), so it's me and Banana being the epitome of lazy!

I am having some crazy gas or cramps or something, so now I'm mildly worried that something is wrong, but maybe it's nothing (or something- ha). Why would I be having cramps on 1dpo?! I am all of a sudden afraid of an ectopic...Lord protect us!

I am kind of behind on comments on others' blogs, but I promise I'm reading and praying where necessary! It has taken a few days to get back to normal after returning from the RV trip- the last of three trips in the last 8 weeks- we are so glad to be home for the rest of the summer! I blame my lack of commenting on discombobulation from travelling, how's that?

If you could pray for my friend T: she and her husband are meeting with Bet.hany on Friday to get info on adoption. They had an IVF miscarriage last fall and have decided not to pursue any further treatments but to move on joyfully to adoption!! She has been praying for us, that God will use the meds to create our baby blessing this cycle, and I have been praying hard that God would really speak to them through this meeting...they are longing to be parents so much, just like the rest of us!!

I'm trying to pray knowing that we serve a big God who is present in our lives each day and knowing that I will see His hand in the creation of our family. It looks like He has used cl.omid to bless Hope (praying for you, Hope!), so I'm hoping that maybe I should be encouraged at His creation! Please Lord, put new life in me, too!

Hoping it's a Good Thing

So, since I've never had ovulation spotting before, I have been goo.gling it up this morning, and based on the obviously-scientific data that I've gleaned from various message board questions and medical information sites, I'm just going to assume that means I am super fertile and that everything is going to be perfect with this cycle, including the clear BFP that I get in 2 weeks. Sounds good, right?

Excellent!

Yesterday afternoon and last night, as I mentioned, I was having some serious soreness in the ovary area, and I think I was also bloated a little bit. And I think I had a hot flash, but I'm not sure if I was just hot or what that was. (I am pretty low-maintenance when it comes to making a big deal about symptoms, so sometimes I wonder if I'm having symptoms but just not giving them much attention..) I am pretty sure I ovulated last night, and I'm pretty much all back to normal this morning! I am practicing positive imagery as far as fertilization goes- Mr. A's warriors standing ready as the eggies come waltzing along... I have been thinking that it seems a little long from the fertilized egg to take 7 days to implant. Honestly, how does it not just fall out?! That is a long time for something so small to go such a short distance. I think if I were a fertilized egg, I'd want to set up shop as soon as I got to the uterus (I hope our fertilized eggies don't set up shop too early in the tubes!) and not wait around to implant for 7 days! Hopefully our little ones are overachievers!!

My friend K who is also on her first round of cl.omid just finished her last pill, and she is excitedly hoping that I'll lead the way as far as being a cl.omid success story! I sure hope so, too. We talked yesterday afternoon, and it has been great to be in this together, since both of us are "in this" anyway! We think it is very neat how God has orchestrated our entire lives to this month, where we can support each other through these uncharted waters.

Last night before bed, I felt compelled to read the first chapter of one of my favorite books The Prayer that Changes Everything last night- Praising God as our Creator. (It is an awesome book if anyone has not read it before.) Everything He creates is good, and even though we think some situations or even some people are mistakes, He has a plan and a purpose for them all to work together for GOOD. He never says "oops" or "maybe I shouldn't have done that" or "looks like I messed up". I pray that He's creating a new little life(s) in me these days and that I'll always use my situations (good, bad, difficult, joyful) to glorify Him and His plan for each of our lives. I praise Him for creating the people that I love already, and I ask for the grace to accept them all as they are, despite all of our individual shortcomings. As I was reading last night, I was particularly struck by the desire to ask for the wisdom to pray for those people in the world who, because of varying dire circumstances, appear to not have an impact on the world. Even the seemingly most-unimportant person on the planet was created by our God to have a unique and special purpose in God's eyes.

God, I hope You are creating at least one good little life in me right now, but even if You aren't, give me the peace that You are creating situations in my life that You will use for good later. Be close to those who don't think You have a purpose just for them and those who can't see what You would have them do- show them Your face today!

Holy Ovulation Pain

WOW. If this is what signals ovulation, I don't think I've ever ovulated before! Not to mention I even had a little bit of spotting this afternoon, too. Never had that before! And to think I was worried that I missed my peak over the weekend while cruisin' in the RV! Speaking of which...

The trip was a great overall success! There was only 1 period of frustration due to a reservation miscommunication, and I think other than that, everyone had a really nice time! It is kind of crazy that we actually carried out that plan- I think we were all kind of in disbelief that it worked out with almost no kinks! My biggest fear- that we would have to go 40mph all the way to the wedding was not a concern- it could go 65mph pretty easily! The wedding was very nice, and it's always fun to get together with my dad's family. We stopped by a brewery up there and had a great time tasting their fare and taking a tour of their bottling/brewing facility.

As for ttc'ing on the Love Bus, as I teasingly termed the RV to one of my sisters, we timed it so that we only needed some, um, privacy one of the days we were all together (amazingly the every-other-day baby making fit into our schedule really easily!), and luckily it was no problem to be alone for a while that day! Plus, I didn't even get my peak reading until today, so the RV lovin' might not even be the money shot. Although if we get pregnant this cycle, that would be a cool story...haha!

We are glad to be home for good now- we don't have any travel scheduled until Thanksgiving. Banana was such an awesome trooper being boarded so much in the last 8 weeks, and we are so thankful for her. I am also just thankful in general for my sisters and the guys they've picked. I don't think many other sets of three sisters do things together like we do, and I think that would be really unfortunate to not get along with them so great. I hope we'll always be close, if not geographically, then by other communication means! I love them so much!

Bon Voyage!

Real quick post amidst a flurry of packing chaos! I'll try to take some good photos I can post when I get home- I'm sure I'll have alot of stories to tell about the trip up and back!! Hopefully we have a great time!!