Wow, thank you all for your prayers on Sunday!! I am so thankful and appreciative- I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such positive influences!!
I have to admit that I always chuckled when I saw people write "dpiui"...in my head I always say "dpewey". Ha!!
If my physical symptoms after the HCG shot are in any way indicative of how I'll feel once the baby starts making HCG, I will be easily tired and have a tender lower abdomen feeling. Also really sensitive up top. I am pretty sure I was like this last cycle, too. Hopefully there won't be a subsequent cycle until next fall...
Mr. A and his brothers pretend to be philosophers from time to time, and one of their favorite theories to ponder is Schrodinger's cat. Are you familiar with it? Basically this scientist said that if you put a cat and some poison in a covered box, there are two outcomes that exist simultaneously, until you open the box and see what has happened: the cat is both dead and alive at the same time. I don't really agree with the conclusion, because I think just because both possibilities exist at the same time, it doesn't mean that both actualities exist at the same time- even if you can't see what the outcome is, there is still only one reality, and my own personal conclusion makes the discussions about this concept with them all the more fun and hilarious.
But for the sake of my current situation, and because I think it is completely funny to antagonize Mr. A with my disagreement of the fancy conclusion of that cat experiment, I am choosing to believe that I am indeed pregnant. Might as well choose the positive outcome if both exist! Ha!
Anyway, since I am pregnant (haha), I was telling Mr. A that, while I would accept being pregnant at any time of the year, I am particularly excited about being due in August. Why, you say? I have a couple friends who were due in August, and all they can tell me is how hot it is to be pregnant then. WELL. Luckily, I can just go float around in our pool!!! Literally ever since we've started trying, I have always thought how good/healthy it would be to be able to swim while really pregnant, and how refreshing it would be to be able to feel buoyant when 8 mos pregnant. So this is just perfect! Awesome how these things work out like this.
Nothing else particularly exciting going on. Just praying that God has allowed conception of our first baby to take place and that he'll/she'll/they'll be born healthy and happy next August. Also praying for my friend T who's just beginning the adoption process, and GIMH who is bringing her adopted son home today!!! And also praying for my friend K who is in the midst of her first 2ww under an Eastern Medicine doc's care- so far it is looking much better than her previous cycles, and the Wife who's 9 weeks pregnant today!!! And also praying for all of the rest of you...
What goes through the mind along the lengthy path of (secondary, now) infertility
We made it!
Sunday, November 08, 2009
We made it! COME ON BABY(S)!!! IUI is complete :) Complete with emotional (hormoney) A. Ha! More on that later...
Friday night after dinner, I mentioned to Mr. A that maybe we could "snuggle" after the trigger shot. He was alarmed by this, since we had to abstain 3 days prior to the SA, he could not understand how it was allowed to only abstain 36 hrs before the IUI. I thought I remembered the NP saying we only had to wait 24 hours, but of course since Mr. A brought it up that it seemed odd, I spent an hour googling/mildly freaking out that I mis-heard what my NP said and that all would be lost at the IUI if we didnt' abstain. Well of course google is so NOT scientific, but so many people said that it was okay to do it after the trigger and then wait till the IUI, I felt okay with still suggesting that we do it. Especially since we have no male factor issues. I guess I am just not convinced that ovulation really doesn't happen till 36 hours after the trigger, so I wanted some swimmers in the vicinity in case the eggies were early. So anyway, snuggling and triggering took place withouth incident.
The funniest part about the trigger was when I was reading the directions to out loud... We get the powder dissolved and drawn into the syringe, and I prepped my backside for the injection. We were using a 25G 1.5" IM needle, which is not a tiny or short needle by any stretch of the imagination. So I'm reading the instructions, with Mr. A leaning over ready to do the injection...
Me: "Hold syring like a dart, insert the entire length of the needle..."
Him: Stands straight up, saying "Are you freaking kidding me?! The whole length of this thing?!"
HA!! It was so funny!! He said he was afraid he'd hit a bone. Which is sweet, because as I look at my backside, I am definitely not bony! HA! Anyway, he did a great job giving me the shot!!
Yesterday was fun- we made a big breakfast and had a great time hanging out with my friend and watching some football. Not much else really! Mr. A was tired from getting up early to go hunting yesterday morning, so it was a pretty low-key day.
This morning was good- walked Banana early, and we had time for coffee and an english muffin before we had to go. Got to the clinic a few minutes before our appt. No one is there. Elevators don't work, and we can't find the stairs.. Umm..... Good thing I left my doctor's business card with the "weekend IUI" number on the filing cabinet at home, 40 minutes away. :-P Luckily about 5 minutes (which seemed like an eternity), the washer got there- whew! She was really nice, and got us set up. The whole time I was praying that God would bring forth the ones He has destined to meet up with my egg(s)!!! Anyway, Mr. A was such a trooper, and we had about an hour to kill while they prepared the sample. So, we did what any healthy people would do- scarfed down some egg mcmuff.in's! Ha! It was a treat- we don't eat out that often!! Then we had some more time before we had to be back at the clinic so we decided to see if Best Bu.y was open. Here's where the waterworks start...
So I'm not exactly familiar with all the convoluted intersections of the college town where our RE is, and believe me, there are some convulated intersections. So I'm driving along and I see 2 stoplights that are within, literally, 10 feet of each other. They are both red, and I didn't see any signs to explain, so I just proceed to the furthest one and stop. Then the left turn gets green so I turn and then I notice a police with his lights on in my rear view... Mr. A is like, oh great, you should have definitely stopped at the first red light (he says he saw a sign to stop at the first one)... which is what the police says, but I honestly didn't see any sign to that effect, and he didn't write me a ticket (whew- God bless you police man!), but in his passion for the concept of stopping at ALL red lights, Mr. A's tone of voice was perhaps a little "emphatic" which hormoney-A interprets as really pissed off, so I lost it in the Burg.er K.ing parking lot. Then he proceeds to tell me that I should calm down because I shouldn't be stressed before the IUI. YA THINK??? Ha!!!
So we get back to the clinic a few minutes early, and I'm proceeding to finish my coffee cup. To which Mr. A shortly observes "Should you even be having coffee today?" Haaaaaa...... (less tears that time)
Luckily, we get up to the clinic itself and they are ready for us, and the doc says that the sample count was 68 million motile!! Way to go, baby!! I am so thankful for good results- surely at least one can step up to the plate, right? My RE seemed really pleased with that (said anything over 40 million would give optimal results), and I think Mr. A was a little astounded and relieved and excited to hear such a big number like that. The IUI itself was completely painless to me (although the RE said I might have some spotting today because my cervix is really sensitive), and I haven't had any cramping or anything, so I hope those eggies really do come out to play. Should I be alarmed that I haven't had any cramping (ovulation and/or IUI related)?! I laid down for about 15 minutes after the IUI, during which Mr. A wondered how they come up with the sample count, and I said "they count them, that's why it takes a while!" Ha! Such a jokester ;-)
So we've arrived safely back home, but I am definitely feeling weepy still. I am praying that God will work a miracle today with the little that we have to offer. I feel so uplifted by so many prayers, and I am very at peace with the outcome that God has for this cycle. I am sensing alot of positive momentum surrounding us, and I just pray that God is behind it, with a baby blessing!! I can't wait to see what He has in store for us!! Thank you so much for praying for us- I love to pray for you, too!!
(ETA: Just want to clarify that Mr. A is still as totally awesome and amazing as usual- I am just a tad teary-eyed today!!)
Friday night after dinner, I mentioned to Mr. A that maybe we could "snuggle" after the trigger shot. He was alarmed by this, since we had to abstain 3 days prior to the SA, he could not understand how it was allowed to only abstain 36 hrs before the IUI. I thought I remembered the NP saying we only had to wait 24 hours, but of course since Mr. A brought it up that it seemed odd, I spent an hour googling/mildly freaking out that I mis-heard what my NP said and that all would be lost at the IUI if we didnt' abstain. Well of course google is so NOT scientific, but so many people said that it was okay to do it after the trigger and then wait till the IUI, I felt okay with still suggesting that we do it. Especially since we have no male factor issues. I guess I am just not convinced that ovulation really doesn't happen till 36 hours after the trigger, so I wanted some swimmers in the vicinity in case the eggies were early. So anyway, snuggling and triggering took place withouth incident.
The funniest part about the trigger was when I was reading the directions to out loud... We get the powder dissolved and drawn into the syringe, and I prepped my backside for the injection. We were using a 25G 1.5" IM needle, which is not a tiny or short needle by any stretch of the imagination. So I'm reading the instructions, with Mr. A leaning over ready to do the injection...
Me: "Hold syring like a dart, insert the entire length of the needle..."
Him: Stands straight up, saying "Are you freaking kidding me?! The whole length of this thing?!"
HA!! It was so funny!! He said he was afraid he'd hit a bone. Which is sweet, because as I look at my backside, I am definitely not bony! HA! Anyway, he did a great job giving me the shot!!
Yesterday was fun- we made a big breakfast and had a great time hanging out with my friend and watching some football. Not much else really! Mr. A was tired from getting up early to go hunting yesterday morning, so it was a pretty low-key day.
This morning was good- walked Banana early, and we had time for coffee and an english muffin before we had to go. Got to the clinic a few minutes before our appt. No one is there. Elevators don't work, and we can't find the stairs.. Umm..... Good thing I left my doctor's business card with the "weekend IUI" number on the filing cabinet at home, 40 minutes away. :-P Luckily about 5 minutes (which seemed like an eternity), the washer got there- whew! She was really nice, and got us set up. The whole time I was praying that God would bring forth the ones He has destined to meet up with my egg(s)!!! Anyway, Mr. A was such a trooper, and we had about an hour to kill while they prepared the sample. So, we did what any healthy people would do- scarfed down some egg mcmuff.in's! Ha! It was a treat- we don't eat out that often!! Then we had some more time before we had to be back at the clinic so we decided to see if Best Bu.y was open. Here's where the waterworks start...
So I'm not exactly familiar with all the convoluted intersections of the college town where our RE is, and believe me, there are some convulated intersections. So I'm driving along and I see 2 stoplights that are within, literally, 10 feet of each other. They are both red, and I didn't see any signs to explain, so I just proceed to the furthest one and stop. Then the left turn gets green so I turn and then I notice a police with his lights on in my rear view... Mr. A is like, oh great, you should have definitely stopped at the first red light (he says he saw a sign to stop at the first one)... which is what the police says, but I honestly didn't see any sign to that effect, and he didn't write me a ticket (whew- God bless you police man!), but in his passion for the concept of stopping at ALL red lights, Mr. A's tone of voice was perhaps a little "emphatic" which hormoney-A interprets as really pissed off, so I lost it in the Burg.er K.ing parking lot. Then he proceeds to tell me that I should calm down because I shouldn't be stressed before the IUI. YA THINK??? Ha!!!
So we get back to the clinic a few minutes early, and I'm proceeding to finish my coffee cup. To which Mr. A shortly observes "Should you even be having coffee today?" Haaaaaa...... (less tears that time)
Luckily, we get up to the clinic itself and they are ready for us, and the doc says that the sample count was 68 million motile!! Way to go, baby!! I am so thankful for good results- surely at least one can step up to the plate, right? My RE seemed really pleased with that (said anything over 40 million would give optimal results), and I think Mr. A was a little astounded and relieved and excited to hear such a big number like that. The IUI itself was completely painless to me (although the RE said I might have some spotting today because my cervix is really sensitive), and I haven't had any cramping or anything, so I hope those eggies really do come out to play. Should I be alarmed that I haven't had any cramping (ovulation and/or IUI related)?! I laid down for about 15 minutes after the IUI, during which Mr. A wondered how they come up with the sample count, and I said "they count them, that's why it takes a while!" Ha! Such a jokester ;-)
So we've arrived safely back home, but I am definitely feeling weepy still. I am praying that God will work a miracle today with the little that we have to offer. I feel so uplifted by so many prayers, and I am very at peace with the outcome that God has for this cycle. I am sensing alot of positive momentum surrounding us, and I just pray that God is behind it, with a baby blessing!! I can't wait to see what He has in store for us!! Thank you so much for praying for us- I love to pray for you, too!!
(ETA: Just want to clarify that Mr. A is still as totally awesome and amazing as usual- I am just a tad teary-eyed today!!)
Greatest.Idea.Ever.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
I just came up with the greatest idea EVER, in honor of venting vagina's CD1, or anyone's CD1, for that matter! Here it is: Starbucks should give out one free grande specialty drink to any girl on CD1!!!
Now, listen up you executives. This idea will expand your clientele to women who wish they could attend the mom's coffee club in those extremely comfortable chairs over there in the corner that is cozy, but still has ample room for baby-transportation equipment. And heck, once they get pregnant, they can bring all their other pregnant friends to the shop for (decaf) coffee clubs! And, since we all know that it is a requirement of moms with newborns to visit the coffee shop with their fancy strollers which convey the cutest little sleeping-like-an-angel babies ever, just imagine how many customers you will get once the girls who you give free coffee to today become moms and meet the other thousand new moms who want to meet up at Starbucks!!
Now, it is up to someone else to figure out how a girl would modestly prove it's CD1....
hehe.
Now, listen up you executives. This idea will expand your clientele to women who wish they could attend the mom's coffee club in those extremely comfortable chairs over there in the corner that is cozy, but still has ample room for baby-transportation equipment. And heck, once they get pregnant, they can bring all their other pregnant friends to the shop for (decaf) coffee clubs! And, since we all know that it is a requirement of moms with newborns to visit the coffee shop with their fancy strollers which convey the cutest little sleeping-like-an-angel babies ever, just imagine how many customers you will get once the girls who you give free coffee to today become moms and meet the other thousand new moms who want to meet up at Starbucks!!
Now, it is up to someone else to figure out how a girl would modestly prove it's CD1....
hehe.
Labels:
food,
general life,
infertility
The Hormoney's
Friday, November 06, 2009
My face is not too happy with all these hormoney's. Don't know what a hormoney is? Watch this...
(Obviously, the part about the lump and twin is not exactly what I wanted to have on today's post, but I can't find a clip without that part...)
Anyway, my co-volunteer who graciously told me her home remedy for acn.e would probably fall over if she saw my face today. It is pretty ridiuculous. I don't quite know how to describe it- it's mostly under the skin I think- but the bottom half of my face is splotchy and irritated and ac.ne-looking. ICK. I never break out this bad EVER. Maybe I'll have to take her up on her water/aspirin/vinegar remedy...
Speaking of aspiring, I'm trying baby aspirin this cycle, too. My RE said it wouldn't hurt, so he wasn't going to tell me not to take it, but he said he wouldn't recommend it, as in, he's not going to say "take this so you'll get pregnant". But I got the chewable kind, and they are yummy!
And I think the hormoney's are also affecting my handling of the situation where we suspected there was a mouse in my office (heard some scurrying and Banana was on high sniff-around-the bookshelf-alert), so we put out some traps last night. Now, logical-A says mice are not house pets you want to encourage, what with their legendary bad hygeine, nor do you want to have them running amuck around clean dishes and pantry shelves just because that is a little creepy. However, hormoney-A says hello, we live in what used to be a cow pasture, so we are actually in their home and they're probably just a little chilly and they probably don't have any disease, and they are sort of cute and furry....not to mention what kind of karma are we going to have going into the IUI after setting a mouse trap?!?!
Breathe.
Unfortunately for the mouse, he was a little too interested in the cheese... and I am dealing with it well. If I'm going to have babies in this house, it better be clean and not housing crawly critters!! No matter if they are furry or not!
Just talked to my friend O, and I'm so excited to be hanging out with her and her hubby and baby again tomorrow for some football! Before we do that, though, we have to do the trigger shot tonight!! Should I call my RE this afternoon and make sure he remembers we're coming for the IUI Sunday and that he told the washer-guy that he has to come in on Sunday morning? Ha! Hello, I am a micromanager!
I am feeling really positive about the IUI, and my two baby follicles. I'm pretty sure my heart has already run far ahead of my mind...
(Obviously, the part about the lump and twin is not exactly what I wanted to have on today's post, but I can't find a clip without that part...)
Anyway, my co-volunteer who graciously told me her home remedy for acn.e would probably fall over if she saw my face today. It is pretty ridiuculous. I don't quite know how to describe it- it's mostly under the skin I think- but the bottom half of my face is splotchy and irritated and ac.ne-looking. ICK. I never break out this bad EVER. Maybe I'll have to take her up on her water/aspirin/vinegar remedy...
Speaking of aspiring, I'm trying baby aspirin this cycle, too. My RE said it wouldn't hurt, so he wasn't going to tell me not to take it, but he said he wouldn't recommend it, as in, he's not going to say "take this so you'll get pregnant". But I got the chewable kind, and they are yummy!
And I think the hormoney's are also affecting my handling of the situation where we suspected there was a mouse in my office (heard some scurrying and Banana was on high sniff-around-the bookshelf-alert), so we put out some traps last night. Now, logical-A says mice are not house pets you want to encourage, what with their legendary bad hygeine, nor do you want to have them running amuck around clean dishes and pantry shelves just because that is a little creepy. However, hormoney-A says hello, we live in what used to be a cow pasture, so we are actually in their home and they're probably just a little chilly and they probably don't have any disease, and they are sort of cute and furry....not to mention what kind of karma are we going to have going into the IUI after setting a mouse trap?!?!
Breathe.
Unfortunately for the mouse, he was a little too interested in the cheese... and I am dealing with it well. If I'm going to have babies in this house, it better be clean and not housing crawly critters!! No matter if they are furry or not!
Just talked to my friend O, and I'm so excited to be hanging out with her and her hubby and baby again tomorrow for some football! Before we do that, though, we have to do the trigger shot tonight!! Should I call my RE this afternoon and make sure he remembers we're coming for the IUI Sunday and that he told the washer-guy that he has to come in on Sunday morning? Ha! Hello, I am a micromanager!
I am feeling really positive about the IUI, and my two baby follicles. I'm pretty sure my heart has already run far ahead of my mind...
Labels:
faith,
general life,
infertility,
meds,
RE
cd11 u/s
Thursday, November 05, 2009
First thing's first, go PRAISE THE LORD for Grace in My Heart's baby boy!!! Oh, and while you're at it, don't forget to cheer her on, too, by leaving a comment!! If you're not familiar with her story, read her links on their background- they experienced a failed adoption last year but have continued to trust in God for the expansion of their family!!! Glory to God!!
Thanks for all your comments on yesterday's post... I have actually written several times to N in the last year something to the effect of "What's your favorite thing about motherhood?" (to try to get her talking) and "I'm not sure where you'd like our friendship to go? But I'd love to still get together..." at the end of the email, but she has never addressed it and responded only with similar-style emails as what she sent yesterday. And boy would I love to have the guts to write what misfit suggested!!! I just don't know if I can handle being the one to say that without specific instruction from her to do so... it would break my heart to be the unfriendly one, I guess!!
I realize she might be struggling with various things right now, or maybe she is busy (probably), but come on, we used to talk about ewcm patterns! And now she can't tell me that being a mom is harder than it looks? Maybe she doesn't want to complain, but I think if I were in her shoes, I'd probably say something like "well, some days being a mom is tough. I don't want to complain because I know you would give anything to be a mom, but I really appreciate you asking. I'd be happy to talk more about it with you, as long as you'd be okay with hearing the nitty gritty!" Or something. (Aren't we all perfect in hypothetical "someone else's shoes" situations?)
Had an u/s this afternoon, and it went pretty well. I have 1 16mm and 1 18mm follicle, both on my right ovary. If you're paying attention, you'll notice the small follie I had on the left is pretty much not a contender anymore. I am not sure why only the two have been growing, or why they are not growing quite as fast as they probably should be. However, I was thinking/praying about this on my way out of the RE's office, and I got a feeling that they are doing exactly what God would have them do. I felt comforted by this thought, and any time on my drive home that I began to wonder what is up (especially on 150iu instead of 125iu), I was reminded that this cycle is in God's hands, and He knows what He's doing. I pretty much feel that there is a reason that only the two are growing strong- maybe they need to be the only ones to be the best darn eggies they can be, and I'm hoping God has big plans for both of them (since I'm being honest here!). Or maybe God is protecting me from OHSS or something not-conception related. So if you could pray that they will continue to mature and that if it's God's will, that they'd become our little ones in August, that would be awesome!!
So since the follies are not quite where my RE wants them size-wise (I still have a beautiful uterus and lining!!), I'll trigger tomorrow night about 930pm- any tips on mixing the trigger?!?!, and the IUI will be at Sunday at 930am!!
I also had the blessing to have lunch with my friend and her little girl!! Mr. A and I are going to try to join them at their place for some college football on Saturday afternoon. I am so thankful for this dear friend- I'll call her O from now on :) I am sad in that I don't think they'll be here much beyond 2 years, but we plan to make the most of her time here!
I've had more pre-ovulation headaches this cycle, but I experimented with various headache-fending-off methods and found that green tea worked the best to keep them as much in the background as possible. I know we will have to stop BD'ing 24 hours before the IUI prep Sunday morning, but I would also like to add that the lack of worrying about timing that "activity" has been refreshing this cycle... it has been great to just go with the spark of the moment instead of wondering if we do it today, if it will be okay to do tomorrow, or if we should not do it today so tomorrow will be good, or if we should have two days in a row... hahahahahaha.....
And my sisters and I are trying to plan our annual Christmas shopping trip!! YAH!!!
Thanks for all your comments on yesterday's post... I have actually written several times to N in the last year something to the effect of "What's your favorite thing about motherhood?" (to try to get her talking) and "I'm not sure where you'd like our friendship to go? But I'd love to still get together..." at the end of the email, but she has never addressed it and responded only with similar-style emails as what she sent yesterday. And boy would I love to have the guts to write what misfit suggested!!! I just don't know if I can handle being the one to say that without specific instruction from her to do so... it would break my heart to be the unfriendly one, I guess!!
I realize she might be struggling with various things right now, or maybe she is busy (probably), but come on, we used to talk about ewcm patterns! And now she can't tell me that being a mom is harder than it looks? Maybe she doesn't want to complain, but I think if I were in her shoes, I'd probably say something like "well, some days being a mom is tough. I don't want to complain because I know you would give anything to be a mom, but I really appreciate you asking. I'd be happy to talk more about it with you, as long as you'd be okay with hearing the nitty gritty!" Or something. (Aren't we all perfect in hypothetical "someone else's shoes" situations?)
Had an u/s this afternoon, and it went pretty well. I have 1 16mm and 1 18mm follicle, both on my right ovary. If you're paying attention, you'll notice the small follie I had on the left is pretty much not a contender anymore. I am not sure why only the two have been growing, or why they are not growing quite as fast as they probably should be. However, I was thinking/praying about this on my way out of the RE's office, and I got a feeling that they are doing exactly what God would have them do. I felt comforted by this thought, and any time on my drive home that I began to wonder what is up (especially on 150iu instead of 125iu), I was reminded that this cycle is in God's hands, and He knows what He's doing. I pretty much feel that there is a reason that only the two are growing strong- maybe they need to be the only ones to be the best darn eggies they can be, and I'm hoping God has big plans for both of them (since I'm being honest here!). Or maybe God is protecting me from OHSS or something not-conception related. So if you could pray that they will continue to mature and that if it's God's will, that they'd become our little ones in August, that would be awesome!!
So since the follies are not quite where my RE wants them size-wise (I still have a beautiful uterus and lining!!), I'll trigger tomorrow night about 930pm- any tips on mixing the trigger?!?!, and the IUI will be at Sunday at 930am!!
I also had the blessing to have lunch with my friend and her little girl!! Mr. A and I are going to try to join them at their place for some college football on Saturday afternoon. I am so thankful for this dear friend- I'll call her O from now on :) I am sad in that I don't think they'll be here much beyond 2 years, but we plan to make the most of her time here!
I've had more pre-ovulation headaches this cycle, but I experimented with various headache-fending-off methods and found that green tea worked the best to keep them as much in the background as possible. I know we will have to stop BD'ing 24 hours before the IUI prep Sunday morning, but I would also like to add that the lack of worrying about timing that "activity" has been refreshing this cycle... it has been great to just go with the spark of the moment instead of wondering if we do it today, if it will be okay to do tomorrow, or if we should not do it today so tomorrow will be good, or if we should have two days in a row... hahahahahaha.....
And my sisters and I are trying to plan our annual Christmas shopping trip!! YAH!!!
Budgets and etc.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
This morning as I rounded a bend on my walk with Banana, in the clear sunrise-ready heavens, what did I see but two perfect thin lines of parallel clouds. I am obviously not even near the end of this cycle yet, but I just had to laugh out loud. REALLY? This is just ridiculous!!!
I am having more headaches this cycle already, but luckily they are mild. Thanks for your comments about the IUI- I think (unless the doc says otherwise), we'll do it Saturday morning and just adjust the time of the trigger accordingly (Thursday night). I guess this time I won't be able to have the NP mix the trigger for me- I hope I can manage!! The follistim shots themselves are still going really smoothly!!
Went to the grocery store this morning!! We follow Dave Rams.ey's budget concepts, using cash only for living expenses. Mr. A picked up one of his books at my parents' house last Christmas and was instantly hooked. We didn't have any credit card balances at that point, but we were spending way more than necessary using our debit cards, i.e. not saving as much as we could. Mr. A set us up a budget last January (2009) that allowed us to rapidly increase our savings and pay down our mortgage at the same time. It does take a little time to set up the budget, but it is so worth it. We have about 15 categories we use cash for, and we have sacrificed the most on our restaurant budget ($25 per month), but we have also cut back on every other category, including our monthly grocery costs ($300), personal "whatever" money ($15 each), and clothing ($13). Mr. A goes to the bank on the first of each month, withdraws the cash, and we separate it into our envelopes. When there is no more cash in the envelope, that is it for whatever the envelope is for, until the next month!! I think last year I was spending so much more than I needed to on groceries; the cash only system makes me be a super shopper- today I saved $63 with store and coupon specials!!! One time I saved a little over $100, no joke! The other cool thing is that we've been "feeding" our Christmas envelope all year, so it is almost stocked and ready to be used on gifts!! No extra spending necessary!!!
It may seem a little odd to use cash-only in such a plastic world, and making (and sticking) to a budget might take some personal sacrifice/discipline, but it has really been a blessing to us!! When Mr. A was telling me how it worked, I thought there was no way we were spending too much- it's not like we had to use credit cards- but even if you use your debit card only, there is no objective limit to how much you can spend on groceries, or latte's, or....!!! I definitely recommend Ramse.y's strategies to anyone, especially if you want to start saving in a big way!!!
I am having more headaches this cycle already, but luckily they are mild. Thanks for your comments about the IUI- I think (unless the doc says otherwise), we'll do it Saturday morning and just adjust the time of the trigger accordingly (Thursday night). I guess this time I won't be able to have the NP mix the trigger for me- I hope I can manage!! The follistim shots themselves are still going really smoothly!!
Went to the grocery store this morning!! We follow Dave Rams.ey's budget concepts, using cash only for living expenses. Mr. A picked up one of his books at my parents' house last Christmas and was instantly hooked. We didn't have any credit card balances at that point, but we were spending way more than necessary using our debit cards, i.e. not saving as much as we could. Mr. A set us up a budget last January (2009) that allowed us to rapidly increase our savings and pay down our mortgage at the same time. It does take a little time to set up the budget, but it is so worth it. We have about 15 categories we use cash for, and we have sacrificed the most on our restaurant budget ($25 per month), but we have also cut back on every other category, including our monthly grocery costs ($300), personal "whatever" money ($15 each), and clothing ($13). Mr. A goes to the bank on the first of each month, withdraws the cash, and we separate it into our envelopes. When there is no more cash in the envelope, that is it for whatever the envelope is for, until the next month!! I think last year I was spending so much more than I needed to on groceries; the cash only system makes me be a super shopper- today I saved $63 with store and coupon specials!!! One time I saved a little over $100, no joke! The other cool thing is that we've been "feeding" our Christmas envelope all year, so it is almost stocked and ready to be used on gifts!! No extra spending necessary!!!
It may seem a little odd to use cash-only in such a plastic world, and making (and sticking) to a budget might take some personal sacrifice/discipline, but it has really been a blessing to us!! When Mr. A was telling me how it worked, I thought there was no way we were spending too much- it's not like we had to use credit cards- but even if you use your debit card only, there is no objective limit to how much you can spend on groceries, or latte's, or....!!! I definitely recommend Ramse.y's strategies to anyone, especially if you want to start saving in a big way!!!
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doggie,
general life,
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Overdue!
Monday, November 02, 2009
I realize that I'm way overdue for a post, and I've been freakin awful at commenting!! I promise to get my rear in gear asap!!
Had another u/s this morning, and I have two 12mm's (right) and an 8mm (left). I wrote an email to my friend T when I got home that I'm initially tempted to be disappointed that the 150iu isn't making a big wonderful difference (especially to the left ovary), but I am reminded that it would be much more of a disappointment to me if I had way too many follies and they would cancel the cycle. I am thankful for not overstimming, that is for sure, and I credit my RE for taking things slowly and cautiously in this regard. So I stand grateful for my response and praying for continued success!! The lady who took my blood this morning used a regular needle and not a butterfly one, and boy can I feel the difference!!! Sheesh!! OW.
I go back for another u/s on Thursday, and my RE thinks I will be ready to trigger then. That leaves us with the option of the IUI on Friday afternoon/evening or Saturday morning (adjust trigger accordingly). What would you choose? I am leaning towards Friday for the following reasons:
Speaking of good ol' God...
I want to encourage everyone to continue to seek His will for their family in all respects. It's not easy, and I have not always found it so easy to volley all lack-of-child-related problems back to God. I have done alot of growing up in the last year as far as understanding what Christ mean when He said "Take up your cross and follow Me." Last year I did not understand so well. And just because God has blessed me abundantly with the gift of faith this year does not mean that anyone who is struggling with faith is any different from me. I would encourage you to pray for faith to trust God's timing in all things!
That is way easier said than done of course. And something I still struggle with sometimes.
God has really transformed my heart this year, and here are some books that He's used:
Longing for a Child- a Devotional Journal (Kathe Wunnenberg)
Prayer: Does it Make any Difference? (Philip Yancey)
Disappointment with God (Philip Yancey)
Hannah's Hope- Seeking God's Heart in the midst of IF, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss (Jennifer Saake)
Duh... The Bible
The Prayer that Changes Everything -The Hidden Power of Praising God (Stormie Omartian)
Empty Womb, Aching Heart (Marlo Schalesky)
Reaching for the Invisible God (Philip Yancey)
3:16 - The Numbers of Hope (Max Lucado)
I wholeheartedly recommend each and every one. They have all played a part in my perspective shift. Go get one today!!!
What God has infused into my life is that He is with me and that He is for me. It is easy to imagine Him so focused on someone else (whose prayers are being answered, by the way!) and imagine Him forgetting us in our darkness. But when Christ said "Take up your cross and follow Me", He did not mean that He was going to be bee-boppin' along ahead of us, without a care in the world, cruising down the highway in a convertible, while we are crawling along. Nope. I think He says "I'm going to be up here ahead of you, showing you how to suffer gracefully for someone else (I think, for my child(ren)). I'm going to show you that you.can.get.through.this. I'm going to show you that the glory on the other side (I think, once I'm a mom) will redeem your suffering. And since you need an example in all this, I'm not leaving you- I'll be in front of you the whole time, tears and all." Of course there is a whole global message, too, about salvation after death, but I think it works to apply the message to my current-day issues, too.
I absolutely cannot take credit for this transformation of heart and perspective, though. It is all through God's grace and the Holy Spirit. I just can't emphasize that enough. It is hard to have faith that God knows what He's doing, when it seems like nothing is working (the way we think it should). It is sometimes completely backwards!! And sometimes "having faith" feels hollow and fake and cliche. And that is okay. God knows we're human and will falter. He just wants us to come back soon.
I have said many times that even though I have come to a place where I can trust that God has great plans for our family, I really struggle with "hearing" Him on specific issues. I prayed to Him many nights last cycle for Him to put in my mind thoughts about last cycle. I tried to quiet my mind, and what popped back in, but visions of motherhood. Clearly, that is not what last cycle was about. (Well I'm sure it prepared me in some way, but, you know what I mean...). I am in awe of people who seem to have a direct line to what He's telling them about any given day or problem or prayer. I pine for this kind of discernment. I want so much to have one of those experiences where people pray that God will open xyz door, and guess what, it's all of a sudden totally open! I am trying to work on this aspect of my prayer life, because prayer is supposed to be a two-way "conversation", right? At this point, since there's obviously no burning bushes or pillars of clouds around here, I have begun to interpret peace as an affirmation that we're on the right track. It'll have to do for now! I pray that God will grace me with more tangible moments of His presence in the future.
Anyway, this has gotten lengthy, but I wanted to write about how I'm not some super-Christian who has had an easy time with faith along this jagged IF journey. It's been a great year for a spiritual growth spurt for me, but I did not always handle it this way. It is kind of neat to look back and see how God has allowed me to use my infertility for good. He uses all things for good if we allow Him into the situation!
I have been taking all of this into consideration and have been praying, this cycle, for more immediate ttc-related intentions. Like, at this point, I was just praying this morning that the u/s would show a good response. (This also encourages me that some things are going right! Ha!) Now, I'll be praying for a continued good response, and maybe if I get ahead of myself, that God would allow us to conceive this week.
I watched the IN.G NY.C Ma.rathon broadcast yesterday, and I literally had tears in my eyes when the first woman and man crossed the finish line. (Yes, Mr. A thinks I'm crazy!) I remember how that felt to me, the two marathons I ran. But as glorious as finishing is, you never forget the incremental training you committed yourself to go get to the finish line. In alot of ways, this speaks volumes to validate the incremental things we do to try for kiddos, and the incremental ways we follow Christ. We are each so human, and we know we won't ever be able to follow Him perfectly, but each time we choose to be Christ-like in our actions or responses, we have another mile behind us in our journey to our Heavenly finish!!
I think if you are still reading, you deserve an honorary degree in English! Ha! Be blessed today!
Had another u/s this morning, and I have two 12mm's (right) and an 8mm (left). I wrote an email to my friend T when I got home that I'm initially tempted to be disappointed that the 150iu isn't making a big wonderful difference (especially to the left ovary), but I am reminded that it would be much more of a disappointment to me if I had way too many follies and they would cancel the cycle. I am thankful for not overstimming, that is for sure, and I credit my RE for taking things slowly and cautiously in this regard. So I stand grateful for my response and praying for continued success!! The lady who took my blood this morning used a regular needle and not a butterfly one, and boy can I feel the difference!!! Sheesh!! OW.
I go back for another u/s on Thursday, and my RE thinks I will be ready to trigger then. That leaves us with the option of the IUI on Friday afternoon/evening or Saturday morning (adjust trigger accordingly). What would you choose? I am leaning towards Friday for the following reasons:
- I read somewhere that the swimmers need a couple hours to get acclimated to the totally tubular (HA!!) environment and get ready to pounce. If we do the trigger Thursday afternoon at 1pm, and the IUI Friday afternoon, with ovulation happening supposedly Saturday at 1am, that gives them time to get situated.
- My RE is on call (OB) at the hospital Saturday so we have to go there for the IUI, and I'm nervous as to what happens to us if he has to go deliver a baby!! Maybe his NP will come in and help us? Also, even though I'm sure they have great consistent lab procedures, doing the IUI at the big hospital in their big lab hypothetically leaves more room for switcheroo errors (*GASP!*)... although my RE said they don't do lots of IUI's per day (esp. Saturday), so it's not like there will be 20 samples...
- Easier for Mr. A (he won't have to take off work)
- Mr. A can be with me during the IUI itself (how romantic! ha!)
- If we do the trigger Thursday evening at like 11pm, with ovulation supposedly at 11am Saturday, the swimmers will be super fresh and rarin' to go.
Speaking of good ol' God...
I want to encourage everyone to continue to seek His will for their family in all respects. It's not easy, and I have not always found it so easy to volley all lack-of-child-related problems back to God. I have done alot of growing up in the last year as far as understanding what Christ mean when He said "Take up your cross and follow Me." Last year I did not understand so well. And just because God has blessed me abundantly with the gift of faith this year does not mean that anyone who is struggling with faith is any different from me. I would encourage you to pray for faith to trust God's timing in all things!
That is way easier said than done of course. And something I still struggle with sometimes.
God has really transformed my heart this year, and here are some books that He's used:
Longing for a Child- a Devotional Journal (Kathe Wunnenberg)
Prayer: Does it Make any Difference? (Philip Yancey)
Disappointment with God (Philip Yancey)
Hannah's Hope- Seeking God's Heart in the midst of IF, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss (Jennifer Saake)
Duh... The Bible
The Prayer that Changes Everything -The Hidden Power of Praising God (Stormie Omartian)
Empty Womb, Aching Heart (Marlo Schalesky)
Reaching for the Invisible God (Philip Yancey)
3:16 - The Numbers of Hope (Max Lucado)
I wholeheartedly recommend each and every one. They have all played a part in my perspective shift. Go get one today!!!
What God has infused into my life is that He is with me and that He is for me. It is easy to imagine Him so focused on someone else (whose prayers are being answered, by the way!) and imagine Him forgetting us in our darkness. But when Christ said "Take up your cross and follow Me", He did not mean that He was going to be bee-boppin' along ahead of us, without a care in the world, cruising down the highway in a convertible, while we are crawling along. Nope. I think He says "I'm going to be up here ahead of you, showing you how to suffer gracefully for someone else (I think, for my child(ren)). I'm going to show you that you.can.get.through.this. I'm going to show you that the glory on the other side (I think, once I'm a mom) will redeem your suffering. And since you need an example in all this, I'm not leaving you- I'll be in front of you the whole time, tears and all." Of course there is a whole global message, too, about salvation after death, but I think it works to apply the message to my current-day issues, too.
I absolutely cannot take credit for this transformation of heart and perspective, though. It is all through God's grace and the Holy Spirit. I just can't emphasize that enough. It is hard to have faith that God knows what He's doing, when it seems like nothing is working (the way we think it should). It is sometimes completely backwards!! And sometimes "having faith" feels hollow and fake and cliche. And that is okay. God knows we're human and will falter. He just wants us to come back soon.
I have said many times that even though I have come to a place where I can trust that God has great plans for our family, I really struggle with "hearing" Him on specific issues. I prayed to Him many nights last cycle for Him to put in my mind thoughts about last cycle. I tried to quiet my mind, and what popped back in, but visions of motherhood. Clearly, that is not what last cycle was about. (Well I'm sure it prepared me in some way, but, you know what I mean...). I am in awe of people who seem to have a direct line to what He's telling them about any given day or problem or prayer. I pine for this kind of discernment. I want so much to have one of those experiences where people pray that God will open xyz door, and guess what, it's all of a sudden totally open! I am trying to work on this aspect of my prayer life, because prayer is supposed to be a two-way "conversation", right? At this point, since there's obviously no burning bushes or pillars of clouds around here, I have begun to interpret peace as an affirmation that we're on the right track. It'll have to do for now! I pray that God will grace me with more tangible moments of His presence in the future.
Anyway, this has gotten lengthy, but I wanted to write about how I'm not some super-Christian who has had an easy time with faith along this jagged IF journey. It's been a great year for a spiritual growth spurt for me, but I did not always handle it this way. It is kind of neat to look back and see how God has allowed me to use my infertility for good. He uses all things for good if we allow Him into the situation!
I have been taking all of this into consideration and have been praying, this cycle, for more immediate ttc-related intentions. Like, at this point, I was just praying this morning that the u/s would show a good response. (This also encourages me that some things are going right! Ha!) Now, I'll be praying for a continued good response, and maybe if I get ahead of myself, that God would allow us to conceive this week.
I watched the IN.G NY.C Ma.rathon broadcast yesterday, and I literally had tears in my eyes when the first woman and man crossed the finish line. (Yes, Mr. A thinks I'm crazy!) I remember how that felt to me, the two marathons I ran. But as glorious as finishing is, you never forget the incremental training you committed yourself to go get to the finish line. In alot of ways, this speaks volumes to validate the incremental things we do to try for kiddos, and the incremental ways we follow Christ. We are each so human, and we know we won't ever be able to follow Him perfectly, but each time we choose to be Christ-like in our actions or responses, we have another mile behind us in our journey to our Heavenly finish!!
I think if you are still reading, you deserve an honorary degree in English! Ha! Be blessed today!
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