Infertility Sucks

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

My heart has been kind of heavy lately about infertility. I don't know if this seems two-faced of me to say, given the baby girl we've been blessed with, but except for the few people who seem to have amnesia about how much they struggled, once an infertile, always an infertile.

It just sucks how hard it is for us to become pregnant, and meanwhile there are naive, oblivious, fertile people who boldly announce when they're going to begin trying for another baby so that he/she can be born in whatever month they fancy. I would never dream of making such a proclamation. I mean how is it even possible that these people get things to work out so perfectly?

There are people who are on my WTE board who are already pregnant again. Granted, I haven't even had a period yet, but I can't help but wonder if we will ever conceive again. I absolutely loved being pregnant and giving birth- will I get to experience it another time? Far be it from me to say things like "when we have another" or other crazy things of that nature.

My next sister has been wanting to have a baby for a while, and while I suspect her husband is not totally on board, I imagine they might start trying sometime soon. I would love for her to let me in on when they start, so I can cheer her on especially when she's disappointed, but she is a pretty private person, and I don't know if she will tell me. And then of course there is the reality that most of the world's population doesn't have any disappointment associated with trying for a baby- there is just the one missed period and the following obviously positive test. I have said it many times before: I would never wish infertility on anyone. But will I feel any kind of infertile yuckiness if they hit a home run the first time they come up to bat?

It's just amazing to me that these things still run through my head, even as our daughter is here. But they do, and I doubt they will ever stop. Infertility just seeps so deep that you can't ever get rid of it, I don't think.