Are you miserable?

Monday, October 03, 2011

Mr. A wanted to know last night. He said that all his coworkers keep asking him if I'm miserable, and when he says no, they tell him that that's crazy- I am miserable.

I think that is crazy talk.

I honestly don't know what to say to women who say they are miserable at the end of their pregnancy. Or the ones that whine that they want their body back. I just don't even know what they're thinking.

Okay fine, when I get up to pee in the middle of the night, my lower back really hurts and there is a ton of pelvic pressure, but is this misery? No! That is baby girl hanging out just where she is supposed to be right now, fully engaged and ready to meet us!

Okay fine, my belly has gotten pretty huge, and I have to chuckle that when I'm doing dishes I have to stand farther back from the sink to make room for it, but is this misery? No! That is baby girl growing just like she's supposed to!

For every symptom-related complaint I've ever heard about the end of pregnancy, I can't think of any response that doesn't come back to the fact that pregnancy is such a huge blessing, and women who complain about it (without the disclaimer that they know that it will all be worth it to have a healthy baby) have no idea how many other women would give their right arm to feel the same way. There are fertility clinics full of patients who are paying $20k a pop out of pocket for a chance to pee 3 times a night or have heartburn all the time.

So to the women who selfishly wail about being miserable at the end of pregnancy or write up eviction notices for their growing babies, I say how dare you. How dare you complain about the miracle of new life and all that it takes to create such a thing, and how dare you complain that your baby is still healthy and growing inside when so many moms go through miscarriage and infant loss?

And in other non-miserable news, my appointment this morning went great :) Blood pressure was 128/78, total weight gain is 26lbs (eh), but they are happy with that, her heartbeat was 143, she is at 0 station, I'm 2cm dilated, and 70% effaced. Midwife is really pleased with how my body is getting ready- we made an appointment for an NST and other post-due monitoring for next Wednesday (10/12), but she said she will be surprised if Maryanne isn't here by then. YAY!

Acupuncture at 1pm today to see if that will further help my body get ready! So excited!!!


Leah said...

Sounds like things are going great and you are really progressing.

I definitely wasn't miserable at the end. I was very anxious to meet my daughter and to make sure she was healthy, but I was far too grateful to be miserable. :)

Adam and Julia said...

I was a bit miserable at the end. I had been on bed rest for 9 weeks, gained 45 lbs and had two babies inside, one whose head was pressing on my bladder so much that I almost peed every time I moved. I had pregnancy asthma, pupps rash, and many other bad things happen. I had them evicted at 37 weeks one day because I couldn't physically move anymore and my blood pressure was growing. I don't think there is shame in that. I am proud that I carried them as long as I did. They are perfect and very healthy now. But, miserable, yes. I was miserable. sorry. If that makes me a bad mom in your eyes, so be it. i am pretty proud of myself.

Jennifer said...

I want to say something like that every single time I hear a pregnant woman complain. Of course there are circumstances like Julia's that can make the end pretty awful. But, I would gladly trade places with any of those miserable pregnant women. Maybe the next time I'll just say, "Wanna trade places?"

A said...

(To Julia: I don't think you are a bad mom at all! You had actual medical issues that were out of your control, and I think the way you handled them was the very best you could! I know you were always wanting to do the best things for your babies! It is the women who complain about mere discomforts and inconveniences that drive me crazy, not the ones who need to be induced because of high blood pressure!)

Sarah B said...

ignorance is bliss. people who have not been through infertility just don't get it. sounds like you are enjoying pregnancy all the more!

RMCarter said...

I got asked the "miserable" question all the time too. It mostly just confused me. Uncomfortable? Yes. Miserable? Um, no. Miserable was when I was sitting in my dark closet sobbing because of infertility. Miserable was when I got the call saying I lost my first pregnancy. Miserable was sitting hysterical in my therapist's office in a deep depression because I felt so hopeless about ever becoming a mom. THOSE were the times I was miserable.

H said...

I'm right there with you, when I was pregnant and puking 24/7, I was always very thankful and happy to be pregnant...Regardless of any of the bad, I was always very, very happy and loved being pregnant! I was anxious to meet our son, but I still from time to time miss being pregnant :-)

Praying for Hope said...

I miss being pregnant, including all the discomfort that went along with it (and I had some pretty horrendous heartburn). It's amazing when you think that all the discomfort is due to a tiny person growing inside of you. It's not so miserable then.

Mrs. V said...

I was miserable at the end of my pregnancy. But I was HAPPLIY miserable. My daughter had her head resting on one of my nerves so I would have this terrible shooting pain in my groin. It hurt to sit, walk, stand, lay, do anything! But I was so thankful that she was healthy and full term, that it completely overshadowed any misery I may have been feeling. I will say, at the end, I was hormonal and huge, and I wanted her OUT! :-)