Well, my friend is having another girl. The party was pretty fun- although M is very social, in new settings, she needs a minute (or several or lots) to take everything in, and it was no different showing up at a party with 10 other kids running full tilt. But she eventually warmed up a little, and of course she enjoyed the pink pudding-filled cupcake :)
The only time I felt like grabbing her and running out of the house was when it was just M and I in their living room. She had gone in to play with some toys they have in there, to get a little time to herself after being bulldozed by an especially excited 18-month old boy. I hear my friend and two other ladies in the kitchen:
"I hear so-and-so is pregnant again."
"Yes, she was also pregnant as the same time as me last time."
{lots of squealing}
"ooooOOoooooh, isn't it so fun that everyone is pregnant again!!!!"
"Yes, I can't believe it happens that way!!!"
Not for everyone, folks. I am just glad I was in the living room. Even though only two tears tried to surface, it may have been awkward if I'd been in there with all the multiple-child mamas.
Of course I totally recognize that I'm beyond lucky to have been pregnant once, so I could have something to say when one of the women asked me later, "So which midwife delivered your daughter?", when I answered, cue more glee, "ooOOOooo, she delievered my second son!! Isn't she greeeeeeaaatttt?"
Eventually it was bedtime, and we walked home and I felt a little quiet. I am so, so grateful to have M and be able to be a mom. So many days I thought my dream would never come true. I might not get to experience another pregnancy, but I will always have the memories of carrying Maryanne, and the privilege of being her mom from here on out.
1 comment:
I guess it's a good thing you had a midwife instead of an OB :).
You've taken the high road here, obviously. But it seems like we write off the possibility that our peers in general could remember there's such a thing as infertility - and don't even imagine a day when they could remember there's secondary infertility. I spend a lot of time pondering what it means to think so little of everyone around me that I don't expect them to be remotely considerate - that I expect of them behavior I would consider shameful in myself. (Which is to say, I've been VERY inconsiderate - but I carry the memory of such incidents pretty heavily. From my vantage point, at least, it seems there are a lot of people on whom it doesn't weigh at all.)
I guess that's my two cents.
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