A year ago today we got the first positive test of our lives- the first indication that our little baby was on the way. It's a day I'll never ever forget :)
So many new moms with new babies are posting so much lately, and I feel like I am such a lame new-mom blogger. When do you guys take a shower or clean up the kitchen or make your bed?! Haha. I have so much I want to tell everyone- or just document for the sake of remembering- but I feel like I barely have time to read how everyone is doing, much less write a coherent update of my own.
In a nutshell, Maryanne is doing awesome. She smiles and coos so much, and it just makes me melt. I can't believe that she is here- we are beyond lucky and blessed. Our nanny is great, and even when Maryanne is a little fussy, she is patient and loving. The one thing that seems to calm Maryanne down any time is reading books. I love that she loves to "read". We are still loving cloth diapering- prefolds and covers mainly, but we are just getting into using some fitteds and all in ones. We are exclusively breastfeeding, and it is also going great. With all the breastfeeding trouble we had in the beginning, I would never have guessed that it would be going this well at this point. She is no longer content to sit in her bouncy seat while we're eating- she likes to sit on my knee and watch us eating- if we are reading the paper, she will reach and grab for it, as if she needs to read it, too.
The one thing we are (I am) still struggling with is dinner. Mr. A does not like the texture of crock pot meals, and I have tried some new recipes lately that he has not liked at all. I am trying so hard to balance everything and cook like I used to, but it just doesn't work out very well alot of times. Mr. A always apologizes whenever he lets his criticism get a little too far, but it is hard to hear anyway, because of course I want to be able to feed him good, homecooked food that he likes. I know he is adjusting, too, in his own way, and we are being patient and forgiving with each other as we grow together as a family.
But no matter what, we are so grateful for the little girl we found out about one year ago today. We wouldn't trade her for anything, and we are so excited to see what this next year holds for the three of us!!
Showing posts with label cloth diapers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cloth diapers. Show all posts
So much to say
Thursday, October 27, 2011
I barely know where to begin. Life with Maryanne has been really great. We are getting to know her little personality and her cues and what she needs from us to be a happy baby. It is such an honor to be her parents.
I guess a short and sweet update would be good. I have a ton to write about each of these topics, but for now, it will be good for me to at least get some bullet points out to help me organize my thoughts.
Today's goal is to make brownies for Mr. A :)
Do you have any questions for me about how things are going for us? Leave a comment and I'll try to answer anything you're wondering!!
I guess a short and sweet update would be good. I have a ton to write about each of these topics, but for now, it will be good for me to at least get some bullet points out to help me organize my thoughts.
- We started breastfeeding in the hospital, where it was clear that she preferred the left side. My milk really never came in when it was supposed to, though, and after many times of trying to feed her that way and having nothing there to drink, she became very frustrated with the idea of even trying. She has a great latch- she is just impatient or something. Per the lactation consultant, I'm eating oatmeal daily and taking fenugreek. Per her pediatrician, I'm on Metaclopramide (spelling probably not right). Thanks to these things, my milk is now here and it's all Maryanne eats. Long story short, I still offer food from the source, but the vast majority of her feedings are pumped milk in a bottle. I am still bummed from time to time that breastfeeding is not going great, but I am very happy that I can pump enough for her to be doing great on breastmilk alone.
- She is sleeping great at night- at least I think so for a newborn. She basically wakes up every 3-4 hours to eat. She has almost even gotten herself on a normal schedule. We are usually up around midnight and 4am, and then again around 7. I always try to put her back in her packnplay after the last feeding, but she is usually up for good around 730am.
- We had almost 3 straight weeks of out of town company after she was born. We are very grateful everyone was so excited and wanted to meet Maryanne and help, but this past Sunday when it was finally just the three of us for the first time since we left the hospital, it was such a relief.
- Cloth diapering is going AWESOME. We are thrilled at how the prefolds and covers are working, especially that we were able to use them from the time she was 2 days old. I did try a newborn AIO, and it leaked (all over the lactation consultant, haha)- Maryanne's legs aren't chubby enough to fill the gaps, I think! I definitely recommend going the prefold route, especially at first. I do a load of diapers every other day and hang them on the clothes line outside, and no stains so far!
- I can't for the life of me figure out the Moby wrap, but she loves the Ergo carrier! Not so much the newborn insert though- but she seems to be 100% comfortable and safe without the newborn insert (she has pretty good head/neck strength already and her legs stay curled up beneath her when she's in the carrier), so we've just been going sans insert.
- Bert and Banana (the dogs) are doing great. As far as we can tell, they have suffered no ill psychological effects from Maryanne's arrival or presence. They are curious about her and protective when someone new is holding her, but when we tell them that "she's okay", they seem placated and let her be. They haven't exhibited any aggression or jealousy at all.
Today's goal is to make brownies for Mr. A :)
Do you have any questions for me about how things are going for us? Leave a comment and I'll try to answer anything you're wondering!!
Nursery Tour
Monday, September 05, 2011
Thank you to everyone who was so encouraging on my last post :) I turned in the 24-hr urine collection Saturday at 10am, and paged the midwife to check the results at 730pm that night. She said she would check and call if any of the results warranted further action before my next checkup at 36w6d. So far, she has not called, so I am hanging onto "no news is good news"... I am still bummed about the high blood pressure, but I'm hoping it was just a fluke. I don't have any other symptoms of high blood pressure (no swelling, dizzy vision, headaches, etc.), so I'm thankful for that!
Now onto more fun things, I think baby girl's nursery is done! Here is a photo tour! (Descriptions below each picture.)
Baby's corner in our room. Mr. A was going to make a cradle, but he has been so busy with work that he just hasn't had the time. We do have the cradle pad in case he gets inspired in the next few weeks!
Entry view of the nursery. Baby's hospital bag is packed and ready to go (on the rocker)!! We have 2 blankets, 4 outfits, 3 cloth diapers, 2 diaper covers, 2 hats, and 2 sets of booties for her!
Nursing/Rocking corner. On the nightstand is her box of board books. The top drawer of the nightstand contains things for me (e.g., nursing pads, lotion/cream, maybe a book). The middle drawer contains burp cloths. The bottom drawer contains more (bigger) books.
Changing area!! On the wall is a Guardian Angel print and a collage frame for family pictures (if they ever send them to me....) We have the diaper pail to the left of the dresser. On top of the dresser on the far left is her diaper organizer with three compartments: hair stuff, diaper lotion/spray, and snappi's/pins. Moving to the right is 2 stacks of cloth wipes (we will spray a wipe to moisten it before using it on her bum), a stuffed sheep and doll, and the changing pad.
The top drawer of her dresser holds prefolds and "disposable" diaper liners (which I made from cut-up old tshirts) for the first few days of meconium or whenever we'd like to use a liner we can throw away. The middle drawer holds newborn-3 months onesies and pants. The bottom drawer holds receiving blankets, swaddlers, and flat diapers.
The compartment to the right has two shelves: top shelf holds a bin with diaper covers and our three newborn all-in-one diapers and five fitted diapers. Bottom shelf holds a bin with hats and socks and our two pocket diapers (which are too big to be used just yet).
Her closet!! On the very top shelf on the left is our car seat cover for winter, and the pack n' play bag. To the right are three boxes with extra clothes- one is empty, one holds 3-6 month clothes, and one holds 6-9 month clothes. I'm hoping these will help me keep all the sizes organized!
Now onto more fun things, I think baby girl's nursery is done! Here is a photo tour! (Descriptions below each picture.)
Baby's corner in our room. Mr. A was going to make a cradle, but he has been so busy with work that he just hasn't had the time. We do have the cradle pad in case he gets inspired in the next few weeks!
Entry view of the nursery. Baby's hospital bag is packed and ready to go (on the rocker)!! We have 2 blankets, 4 outfits, 3 cloth diapers, 2 diaper covers, 2 hats, and 2 sets of booties for her!
Nursing/Rocking corner. On the nightstand is her box of board books. The top drawer of the nightstand contains things for me (e.g., nursing pads, lotion/cream, maybe a book). The middle drawer contains burp cloths. The bottom drawer contains more (bigger) books.
Changing area!! On the wall is a Guardian Angel print and a collage frame for family pictures (if they ever send them to me....) We have the diaper pail to the left of the dresser. On top of the dresser on the far left is her diaper organizer with three compartments: hair stuff, diaper lotion/spray, and snappi's/pins. Moving to the right is 2 stacks of cloth wipes (we will spray a wipe to moisten it before using it on her bum), a stuffed sheep and doll, and the changing pad.
The top drawer of her dresser holds prefolds and "disposable" diaper liners (which I made from cut-up old tshirts) for the first few days of meconium or whenever we'd like to use a liner we can throw away. The middle drawer holds newborn-3 months onesies and pants. The bottom drawer holds receiving blankets, swaddlers, and flat diapers.
The compartment to the right has two shelves: top shelf holds a bin with diaper covers and our three newborn all-in-one diapers and five fitted diapers. Bottom shelf holds a bin with hats and socks and our two pocket diapers (which are too big to be used just yet).
Her closet!! On the very top shelf on the left is our car seat cover for winter, and the pack n' play bag. To the right are three boxes with extra clothes- one is empty, one holds 3-6 month clothes, and one holds 6-9 month clothes. I'm hoping these will help me keep all the sizes organized!
Hanging on the top rail (left to right) are jackets/sweaters, extra hangers, and newborn-3 months dressers/jumpers/sleepers/sleep sacks.
On the shelf (left to right) are the downstairs changing area supplies (have to set this up and bring these bins downstairs), a bin holding pack n' play sheets and cradle sheets and extra diaper potion concentrate and witchhazel for mixing, a bin holding crib sheets, and a keepsake box holding the quilt that Mr. A's mom made for baby girl.
Hanging on the bottom rail (left to right) are two robes, and an organizer for towels/washcloths, and special blankets.
On the floor (left to right) is the baby tub, the small diaper bag, and the hamper for dirty clothes.
***
It is so exciting to have her room ready! We hope she will be very comfortable in here- we sure have had fun getting it set up!!
***
And, I think we have decided on her name! Since I refer to everyone with their first initial, she is baby M!!! So exciting. We feel so blessed :)
On the shelf (left to right) are the downstairs changing area supplies (have to set this up and bring these bins downstairs), a bin holding pack n' play sheets and cradle sheets and extra diaper potion concentrate and witchhazel for mixing, a bin holding crib sheets, and a keepsake box holding the quilt that Mr. A's mom made for baby girl.
Hanging on the bottom rail (left to right) are two robes, and an organizer for towels/washcloths, and special blankets.
On the floor (left to right) is the baby tub, the small diaper bag, and the hamper for dirty clothes.
***
It is so exciting to have her room ready! We hope she will be very comfortable in here- we sure have had fun getting it set up!!
***
And, I think we have decided on her name! Since I refer to everyone with their first initial, she is baby M!!! So exciting. We feel so blessed :)
Delight in the little things
Thursday, August 18, 2011
I am having a great day- and it is all about the little things that are making me happy:
What little things are making you happy today?
- The last of baby girl's diapers (5 100% cotton fitted's, 3 100% cotton newborn AIO's (would totally get more, but they are expensive and just for newborns- will likely definitely invest in more one-size AIO's after she is bigger), 2 microfiber pocket's (I am not sure I will like these since they are not 100% cotton, hence the small number of them), and a bunch of cotton flat diapers) are on the line after their second washes- so excited to be prepping them! (My 3-dozen 100% cotton GMD prefolds are already prepped and ready to go!)
- Yoga at home this morning, including 4 sets of 2-minute squats :)
- We FINALLY signed up for garbage service!!! You have NO idea how exciting this is for me!!! (Are you thinking, wow, this chic needs to get out more?) Mr. A has been taking our trash to the dump ever since we moved here, but we are getting busier on the weekends, and when he doesn't go for a few weeks, it is more than our cans can hold, so I end up just putting bags next to the cans.... which sometimes Bert gets into, and that is just no a good situation for anyone- dog or human. The service is very inexpensive and includes free recycling!!! YAYYYYYYY!!
- Bonus, our fancy new garbage bin from the company was just delivered!! EEeeeee!!
- My teleconference at 10:30 to discuss one of my cases was cancelled- the other two attendees have reviewed the issues and agree with my position and didn't need to talk to me about it! Awesome!
What little things are making you happy today?
Lots (of baby stuff)
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
I am trying really hard to stay focused at work during the day and not spend all my time reading about baby stuff, doing baby laundry, and wondering how in the heck I went from being sure we would never conceive to doing baby stuff all the time.
But there is alot going on these days.
We bought a doll to try to acclimate our pups to the idea that there will be another human around in a month and a half, and so far they are pretty apathetic unless you make the doll cry and put it right in their face. At which point they just get up and walk away. We've put her in the swing, and turned it on turbo swing (seriously, do babies need six swing speeds?), and blared the obnoxious music that the swing has (again, is music really necessary?), and the dogs just lay there. I know it will be different when our REAL baby is here, but so far we are encouraged by their acceptance of the new stuff we've presented them with.
The doll is pretty close to life-size (18in long- no idea how much she weighs), so we have even put one of our prefolds and covers on her to make sure we aren't going to completely fail at cloth diapering our baby girl. To me (a novice), it looks like at least the doll would be suited up quite nicely with her prefold and cover without any leaks ;-) Hopefully it will be the same for our baby girl.
I've washed all the baby's clothes; hung the 0-3 months dresses and sleepers in her closet, and put her 0-3 months onesies and pants in her dresser. All the blankets, towels, washcloths, and burp cloths have found a place in the nursery, too, and today I just washed and folded all her sheets: crib, pack n' play, and cradle. Tomorrow I plan on washing her mattress cover, and some AIO (all-in-one) diapers that I have yet to prep. Is baby laundry always this fun?
Still on the to-do list is hanging the pictures in her room, setting up the downstairs changing area, figuring out what to put in her diaper bag (do we bring that to the hospital?), and figuring out what to put in our hospital bag (we got a list at our baby prep class- just have to find it). Who am I kidding, I am sure I will think of other things to do... I could spend all day puttering around in her nursery....which is hilarious because with the exception of the bathrooms, it's the smallest room in our house. Do fertile moms do this, too, or is it just because we waited 4 years for this?
Every now and then, I have this urge to write up a manual of our household for when the visitors descend on our house in October. You know, like the ones that the wives write in that show "Wif.e S.wap": e.g., how our house "runs", what kinds of things we eat, how we plan our day, what to buy at the grocery store, how to take care of the dogs, how to not ruin my Calp.halon stainless pots and pans? Maybe even include a section "What to do if you're bored and the baby and I are sleeping or nursing"... And then I chuckle to myself, because I don't know any better example of my type-A personality. But then I rationalize the thought that maybe it would help the nanny that we plan on hiring in February when I return to working (from home) full time. So far, my actual work has prevented me from starting on our manual. But it is definitely being written in the back of my mind...
Prenatal yoga is still going really well. There is another girl who comes to the same class as me who is a few days ahead of me, and I can't believe that we are 33 weeks this week. I mean, it was just yesterday that I was 5 weeks, and 16 weeks, and 20 weeks, wasn't it? It has also been great to meet other expectant moms- I think there are several of us who will keep in touch after our little ones are here. I am really glad to have kept up with exercise while being pregnant :) In our baby prep class at the hospital (where we are also meeting new couple-friends!!....although I sort of feel like an imposter- I never thought I'd be able to identify with young adult couples who are expecting a baby!), we have been "learning" stretches and good postures for laboring and delivering, and they are all things that I have been doing in prenatal yoga since I was 14 weeks, and that helps me feel confident in my desire to have a natural birth! And I'm still walking at least 40 minutes a day- I think some people do a double take when I walk both dogs by myself, but they have been really good lately- even when they see rabbits- I think they know they need to be extra obedient so as not to pull me over!!
We had our maternity pictures taken over the weekend. Our photographer has posted one on her website, and I think she did a great job- I am so excited to see the rest!! I am so glad that we decided to go with her even though at first things were a little unsettled. I think our newborn photos of baby girl will be amazing!! Email me if you want me to send you the link :)
So anyway, I should probably get back to work. I'm hoping to be able to only work half days starting September 12 (I'll be full term on September 13), so I'm trying to make these next few weeks as productive as possible.
I made a commitment to LIVE WELL in 2011, and to live fully and happily no matter what. I never imagined that my life would be wonderfully full of baby things 8 months later; preparing for our baby has brought so much joy already to our home- we can't even imagine how awesome it will be when she is actually in our arms.
{Just so you know: I know this post might/will be really hard for those of you who're still waiting to read, and I added "(of baby stuff)" to the title in case it's just a day where you can't deal with reading a PAIF post. I distinctly remember days when I could not even fathom being able to remotely identify with being pregnant or preparing for a baby, and even though I am going through the preparation motions, it is not lost on me that I thought I'd never do this stuff. My self-imposed PAIF motto comes to mind today and all of these busy days: "When you've been through hell, you tend to appreciate heaven."}
But there is alot going on these days.
We bought a doll to try to acclimate our pups to the idea that there will be another human around in a month and a half, and so far they are pretty apathetic unless you make the doll cry and put it right in their face. At which point they just get up and walk away. We've put her in the swing, and turned it on turbo swing (seriously, do babies need six swing speeds?), and blared the obnoxious music that the swing has (again, is music really necessary?), and the dogs just lay there. I know it will be different when our REAL baby is here, but so far we are encouraged by their acceptance of the new stuff we've presented them with.
The doll is pretty close to life-size (18in long- no idea how much she weighs), so we have even put one of our prefolds and covers on her to make sure we aren't going to completely fail at cloth diapering our baby girl. To me (a novice), it looks like at least the doll would be suited up quite nicely with her prefold and cover without any leaks ;-) Hopefully it will be the same for our baby girl.
I've washed all the baby's clothes; hung the 0-3 months dresses and sleepers in her closet, and put her 0-3 months onesies and pants in her dresser. All the blankets, towels, washcloths, and burp cloths have found a place in the nursery, too, and today I just washed and folded all her sheets: crib, pack n' play, and cradle. Tomorrow I plan on washing her mattress cover, and some AIO (all-in-one) diapers that I have yet to prep. Is baby laundry always this fun?
Still on the to-do list is hanging the pictures in her room, setting up the downstairs changing area, figuring out what to put in her diaper bag (do we bring that to the hospital?), and figuring out what to put in our hospital bag (we got a list at our baby prep class- just have to find it). Who am I kidding, I am sure I will think of other things to do... I could spend all day puttering around in her nursery....which is hilarious because with the exception of the bathrooms, it's the smallest room in our house. Do fertile moms do this, too, or is it just because we waited 4 years for this?
Every now and then, I have this urge to write up a manual of our household for when the visitors descend on our house in October. You know, like the ones that the wives write in that show "Wif.e S.wap": e.g., how our house "runs", what kinds of things we eat, how we plan our day, what to buy at the grocery store, how to take care of the dogs, how to not ruin my Calp.halon stainless pots and pans? Maybe even include a section "What to do if you're bored and the baby and I are sleeping or nursing"... And then I chuckle to myself, because I don't know any better example of my type-A personality. But then I rationalize the thought that maybe it would help the nanny that we plan on hiring in February when I return to working (from home) full time. So far, my actual work has prevented me from starting on our manual. But it is definitely being written in the back of my mind...
Prenatal yoga is still going really well. There is another girl who comes to the same class as me who is a few days ahead of me, and I can't believe that we are 33 weeks this week. I mean, it was just yesterday that I was 5 weeks, and 16 weeks, and 20 weeks, wasn't it? It has also been great to meet other expectant moms- I think there are several of us who will keep in touch after our little ones are here. I am really glad to have kept up with exercise while being pregnant :) In our baby prep class at the hospital (where we are also meeting new couple-friends!!....although I sort of feel like an imposter- I never thought I'd be able to identify with young adult couples who are expecting a baby!), we have been "learning" stretches and good postures for laboring and delivering, and they are all things that I have been doing in prenatal yoga since I was 14 weeks, and that helps me feel confident in my desire to have a natural birth! And I'm still walking at least 40 minutes a day- I think some people do a double take when I walk both dogs by myself, but they have been really good lately- even when they see rabbits- I think they know they need to be extra obedient so as not to pull me over!!
We had our maternity pictures taken over the weekend. Our photographer has posted one on her website, and I think she did a great job- I am so excited to see the rest!! I am so glad that we decided to go with her even though at first things were a little unsettled. I think our newborn photos of baby girl will be amazing!! Email me if you want me to send you the link :)
So anyway, I should probably get back to work. I'm hoping to be able to only work half days starting September 12 (I'll be full term on September 13), so I'm trying to make these next few weeks as productive as possible.
I made a commitment to LIVE WELL in 2011, and to live fully and happily no matter what. I never imagined that my life would be wonderfully full of baby things 8 months later; preparing for our baby has brought so much joy already to our home- we can't even imagine how awesome it will be when she is actually in our arms.
{Just so you know: I know this post might/will be really hard for those of you who're still waiting to read, and I added "(of baby stuff)" to the title in case it's just a day where you can't deal with reading a PAIF post. I distinctly remember days when I could not even fathom being able to remotely identify with being pregnant or preparing for a baby, and even though I am going through the preparation motions, it is not lost on me that I thought I'd never do this stuff. My self-imposed PAIF motto comes to mind today and all of these busy days: "When you've been through hell, you tend to appreciate heaven."}
Dogs and Diapers
Friday, July 29, 2011
A year ago today, we met Bert at the SPCA for the first time. I can't believe he's been home for an entire year already!! (Well, almost; we actually brought him home on the 30th).
What is even more hard to wrap my head around is that I'm sitting here today, with Bert running around outside enjoying the cool(ish) morning, and Banana napping on the chair in the living room, and a baby girl thumping around in my belly.
I hope these reflection posts aren't annoying.
Last year, we were getting ready to pour our hearts into a new pup. It was refreshing and exciting for us- a little one who needed some love and direction. We'd had over three years of failed trying for a baby to nurture, and while any infertile will tell you animals are not an exact substitute for a baby, our animals filled a big part of the hole in our family. Bert could not have come into our family at a more crucial time. We loved training him, even in the challenging moments, teaching him what it's like to be a part of our pack. It was so exciting for us to prepare for his arrival- new collar, new bed, new toys. And it is so satisfying to look back on the past year and to see how we have all grown together.
Here I sit again preparing for a new little one. Yesterday morning I started prepping her diapers (prefolds) and wipes, and I'm continuing the process this morning (they are in the 2nd hot wash right now). I have been meaning to start prepping her diapers for a few weeks now, but I was a little afraid. They looked so perfect and new in their packaging- what if I messed them up? But yesterday and today it's supposed to be sunny and almost 100F, so I figured it was time to jump into the diaper prepping so I can line dry them in between washes to save energy. So far so good!!!
It feels so exciting and so weird at the same time to be doing this kind of stuff. Last year, we were so convinced that we'd never welcome a baby into our family, we adopted Bert. I think that celebrating his homecoming and starting to do more "real" baby preparations has caused my head to spin a little bit. I would rather do 18 loads of baby preparation laundry than do my work, and all I can think about while hanging the diapers on the line is all of my friends who are still waiting for their little ones. How last year I was sure that our little one(s) would always only have four paws instead of two hands and two feet.
It is kind of neat to have this blog because it makes me acutely aware of the old cliche of 'what a difference a year makes'. One of my best friends K, who is still struggling with infertility, says that our story has given her hope that one day she will triumph against IF, and be able to look back a year prior and remember how she never thought she would beat it.
After all, a year ago, I never would have dreamed I'd be prepping diapers this summer- instead I was picking up an extra bag of rawhide chips!
If you are feeling like you will never win against IF today, and that your baby will never be in your arms, be encouraged! You never know what the next year will hold :)
What is even more hard to wrap my head around is that I'm sitting here today, with Bert running around outside enjoying the cool(ish) morning, and Banana napping on the chair in the living room, and a baby girl thumping around in my belly.
I hope these reflection posts aren't annoying.
Last year, we were getting ready to pour our hearts into a new pup. It was refreshing and exciting for us- a little one who needed some love and direction. We'd had over three years of failed trying for a baby to nurture, and while any infertile will tell you animals are not an exact substitute for a baby, our animals filled a big part of the hole in our family. Bert could not have come into our family at a more crucial time. We loved training him, even in the challenging moments, teaching him what it's like to be a part of our pack. It was so exciting for us to prepare for his arrival- new collar, new bed, new toys. And it is so satisfying to look back on the past year and to see how we have all grown together.
Here I sit again preparing for a new little one. Yesterday morning I started prepping her diapers (prefolds) and wipes, and I'm continuing the process this morning (they are in the 2nd hot wash right now). I have been meaning to start prepping her diapers for a few weeks now, but I was a little afraid. They looked so perfect and new in their packaging- what if I messed them up? But yesterday and today it's supposed to be sunny and almost 100F, so I figured it was time to jump into the diaper prepping so I can line dry them in between washes to save energy. So far so good!!!
It feels so exciting and so weird at the same time to be doing this kind of stuff. Last year, we were so convinced that we'd never welcome a baby into our family, we adopted Bert. I think that celebrating his homecoming and starting to do more "real" baby preparations has caused my head to spin a little bit. I would rather do 18 loads of baby preparation laundry than do my work, and all I can think about while hanging the diapers on the line is all of my friends who are still waiting for their little ones. How last year I was sure that our little one(s) would always only have four paws instead of two hands and two feet.
It is kind of neat to have this blog because it makes me acutely aware of the old cliche of 'what a difference a year makes'. One of my best friends K, who is still struggling with infertility, says that our story has given her hope that one day she will triumph against IF, and be able to look back a year prior and remember how she never thought she would beat it.
After all, a year ago, I never would have dreamed I'd be prepping diapers this summer- instead I was picking up an extra bag of rawhide chips!
If you are feeling like you will never win against IF today, and that your baby will never be in your arms, be encouraged! You never know what the next year will hold :)
Fast Forward
Friday, June 03, 2011
I want to know who hit the warp speed button. Because although it is exciting and thrilling, I am not exactly used to all of this yet.
In the last week, we ordered the nursery furniture, set up our registries, received our baby's first diapers, ordered the crib mattress, talked to my sister about mural ideas (we are doing E.ric Car.le animals!), took a new belly picture, and received word that the nursery furniture is ready for pickup.
WHAT.
For as long as we waited and dreamed of being pregnant, this part of our journey is going really fast. I never thought it would go by so quickly, but as I treasure each day, I still can't believe we are already more than halfway to meeting our baby. And not that I take meeting her for granted- my hope and prayer is that God allows her a long and happy and healthy life with our family- and we are preparing for her with great joy, but we are far from taking each day of her life as a given. We feel like we can't say enough thank you's for her life- every time I feel her kick and squirm, I am reminded of what a gift she is to us.
I have been having some survivor's guilt the last couple of days- especially since our diapers arrived yesterday and the covers and all-in-one's are honestly some of the cutest things I have ever seen in my life. I don't care if it takes me 25 loads of washing the prefolds to get them prepped, I am so excited about it! I received a "how-to" booklet with our order, and I've already read it twice. There is so much to learn and consider, but I can't wait to try my hand at it.
But every time I glance in the baby's room and see things in there that are baby-related, I "remember all {our infertile} way". I think of YOU who are still waiting, YOU who have suffered losses, YOU whose hearts are frustrated, and YOU whose baby's room looks like ours did 5 months ago. I worry that what I think are words of comfort or encouragement to you may come across as hollow or ungenuine (is that a word?) given where I find myself today. I think of the times when I tried to read PAIF blogs and the writers seemed to have lost all recollection of their struggle with infertility, and I cringe at the possibility that some of my readers think I have.
But I haven't; I will never forget. Every minute of this pregnancy has been so treasured in light of our journey to get here. There is not one second when I have "missed" something from before I was pregnant.
I always wanted to fast forward through infertility, and now part of me wants time to slow down so I can drink in this pregnancy as much as I can.
But the other part of me is so amazingly raring to go and can't order baby stuff fast enough. The other part of me looks at the daily z.ulily sales and puts 4 dresses in the shopping cart before my brain takes over and determines that even though the dresses are on sale, do you really need to buy that now?? (The answer so far has been "welllllll, no......"...)
Praying our baby girl already knows how much she is loved and wanted. I am sure the next 18 weeks are going to fly by, just like the last 18 (or 22 "total") have!!!
In the last week, we ordered the nursery furniture, set up our registries, received our baby's first diapers, ordered the crib mattress, talked to my sister about mural ideas (we are doing E.ric Car.le animals!), took a new belly picture, and received word that the nursery furniture is ready for pickup.
WHAT.
For as long as we waited and dreamed of being pregnant, this part of our journey is going really fast. I never thought it would go by so quickly, but as I treasure each day, I still can't believe we are already more than halfway to meeting our baby. And not that I take meeting her for granted- my hope and prayer is that God allows her a long and happy and healthy life with our family- and we are preparing for her with great joy, but we are far from taking each day of her life as a given. We feel like we can't say enough thank you's for her life- every time I feel her kick and squirm, I am reminded of what a gift she is to us.
I have been having some survivor's guilt the last couple of days- especially since our diapers arrived yesterday and the covers and all-in-one's are honestly some of the cutest things I have ever seen in my life. I don't care if it takes me 25 loads of washing the prefolds to get them prepped, I am so excited about it! I received a "how-to" booklet with our order, and I've already read it twice. There is so much to learn and consider, but I can't wait to try my hand at it.
But every time I glance in the baby's room and see things in there that are baby-related, I "remember all {our infertile} way". I think of YOU who are still waiting, YOU who have suffered losses, YOU whose hearts are frustrated, and YOU whose baby's room looks like ours did 5 months ago. I worry that what I think are words of comfort or encouragement to you may come across as hollow or ungenuine (is that a word?) given where I find myself today. I think of the times when I tried to read PAIF blogs and the writers seemed to have lost all recollection of their struggle with infertility, and I cringe at the possibility that some of my readers think I have.
But I haven't; I will never forget. Every minute of this pregnancy has been so treasured in light of our journey to get here. There is not one second when I have "missed" something from before I was pregnant.
I always wanted to fast forward through infertility, and now part of me wants time to slow down so I can drink in this pregnancy as much as I can.
But the other part of me is so amazingly raring to go and can't order baby stuff fast enough. The other part of me looks at the daily z.ulily sales and puts 4 dresses in the shopping cart before my brain takes over and determines that even though the dresses are on sale, do you really need to buy that now?? (The answer so far has been "welllllll, no......"...)
Praying our baby girl already knows how much she is loved and wanted. I am sure the next 18 weeks are going to fly by, just like the last 18 (or 22 "total") have!!!
Baby Things
Sunday, May 29, 2011
I can hardly believe what I did yesterday afternoon- I ordered a newborn cloth diapering set. I am so excited and nearly paralyzed by reality at the same time!! Is this really happening?!?!? I hope cloth diapering is as easy as everyone I know who does it says it is. I even added three newborn all-in-one's in case Mr. A doesn't like the prefolding. But even people who prefold say it is a piece of cake. I am so excited!!
I have been trying to ease myself into all things baby because it is pretty overwhelming. I tried to start setting up an online registry the other day, and my eyes started swimming with all the options. Why do there have to be 20 different patterns of the same carseat? Do you know how much information-overload that is for a pregnant infertile?!
Not to mention while everyone else is gleefully filling up their baby's closet and nursery by now, I am still very aware at 21w5d that this baby is not HERE yet. She is well on her way, and chances are great that she will be here happy and healthy, but every time I go to order something or register for something or even look at something baby-related, I think, maybe I shouldn't get ahead of myself...
And yet this afternoon we are tentatively planning on going to look at cribs at an Amish place nearby. There is one at Babi.esRU.s that I picked out, but Mr. A *hates* putting furniture together (it seems like it always happens that we are missing one tiny screw or a side piece is all scratched to pieces or the holes don't line up or something), so he wants to see what our other options are. If we go with the Amish place, it will probably be at least twice as expensive, but I know it will be worth it- they made our kitchen table/chairs, and that set will be in our family forever....
We are so grateful for this little girl. We put her profile picture as our wallpaper on the laptop, and every time we open it, it makes us catch our breath. I always saw other people's u/s pictures of profiles and thought it was amazing to see such a view of their baby, and now I have been blessed with one of my own. There were many times when I thought for sure that it would never happen for us.
I have been trying to ease myself into all things baby because it is pretty overwhelming. I tried to start setting up an online registry the other day, and my eyes started swimming with all the options. Why do there have to be 20 different patterns of the same carseat? Do you know how much information-overload that is for a pregnant infertile?!
Not to mention while everyone else is gleefully filling up their baby's closet and nursery by now, I am still very aware at 21w5d that this baby is not HERE yet. She is well on her way, and chances are great that she will be here happy and healthy, but every time I go to order something or register for something or even look at something baby-related, I think, maybe I shouldn't get ahead of myself...
And yet this afternoon we are tentatively planning on going to look at cribs at an Amish place nearby. There is one at Babi.esRU.s that I picked out, but Mr. A *hates* putting furniture together (it seems like it always happens that we are missing one tiny screw or a side piece is all scratched to pieces or the holes don't line up or something), so he wants to see what our other options are. If we go with the Amish place, it will probably be at least twice as expensive, but I know it will be worth it- they made our kitchen table/chairs, and that set will be in our family forever....
We are so grateful for this little girl. We put her profile picture as our wallpaper on the laptop, and every time we open it, it makes us catch our breath. I always saw other people's u/s pictures of profiles and thought it was amazing to see such a view of their baby, and now I have been blessed with one of my own. There were many times when I thought for sure that it would never happen for us.
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