(I know, I know, over a month since I've posted. And I am going to write a retroactive IF Awareness Week post- stay tuned. Lots going on (everyone says that, but of course it's true to some extent or another), and alot of things I want to write about but don't want to just rattle off a post because they're bigger than just random...)
But you know, about Mother's Day tomorrow. For IF graduates, a very bittersweet situation. Bitter because you remember what it was like to want to hide in your basement the whole day and because you (more than likely) still know someone who is doing that very thing, but of course very sweet because now you actually finding yourself in a position where the day actually involves you.
I have said a zillion times how grateful we are to have been blessed with M, and I could go on and on about it, and of course I championed my new favorite mothering book a couple months ago (if you never ordered it, you should give yourself a Mother's Day present right now and get a copy- you will not regret it!!), but the thought that came to me when I was reflecting about what to write about Mother's Day took me back to when I was not a traditional mother.
In the fall of 2010, I had gone to counseling because I felt totally alienated by my fantastically fertile college friends, and Mr. A was out of advice and ideas. My counselor was not particularly focused in infertility issues, but she had a few helpful thoughts. The one that applies most here was that when I was telling her of my desire to be a mom, she noted that there were many ways that I mothered that are still valid, even if they were not the traditional role. I had two dogs that depend on me for exercise, food, water, and attention. I cared for my husband when he was sick and made meals he liked. I checked on elderly neighbors to see if they needed help with daily activities. My volunteering often placed me in situations of providing advice to teenagers in crisis situations. Even though I didn't have a child in the house, I had unknowingly been using my mothering abilities and strengths.
So if you are still waiting for a child to fill your home, or if you have overcome IF through acceptance of a child-free future, I celebrate you tomorrow, in all the ways you mother, even if they are not the traditional greeting-card ways!!
Showing posts with label general life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label general life. Show all posts
Power of Moms Ambassador
Thursday, March 13, 2014
It's no secret that being a mom to M is a dream come true and a prayer answered. I try every second of the day to honor that blessing by being the absolute best mom I can be to her. I do my best to savor every moment, not taking a single one for granted. For me, this manifests itself in how I cook, what sorts of things we value in our home, how I respond to tough situations, and how I carry myself as a person.
I would say I cook 98% of all of our meals from scratch (loving every minute!) because I think that is healthiest and most economical, but also because the time it takes to chop and cook and set the table (usually no more than half an hour) allows us time together at the end of each day to reconnect and learn and laugh.
As far as what is important to us in our home, I would say contentment and simplicity. We have comfortable furnishings and a nice house, and I do my best to declutter (currently doing my Lenten cleaning each day and it is awesome!!) so that we can have a peaceful space to come home to and relax in. M has plenty of toys, but they all have their space up and away from being a huge mess on the floor, and if it appears that there isn't enough room in the bins, we prioritize which ones we'd like to keep and donate the rest. Each night the kitchen is clean, the counters are clear, the mail is sorted, and all the toys are put back away before we are all in bed. Waking up to a clean house sets the tone for a good day, I think!
But more than material things, we value calm voices, encouraging words, and peaceful conversation. I was raised in a yelling house, and nothing good comes from yelling. Of course I have raised my voice, but do you know what happened the last time? M started to yell back at me, and that hit me like a ton of bricks. No way did I want my daughter growing up with that kind of frustration-coping mechanism. I don't think I have yelled since. There are moments which require stern redirection or correction, but because we try to make it a habit not to raise our voices, M is very receptive to even the most serious of tones.
I try to be an example to M of healthy life choices. She sees me making healthy food choices, and because we do it twice a day, she is learning the value of walking the dogs (for both dog and human!). I try to give myself some relaxing time right before going to sleep for reading blogs, reading some of whatever book I'm reading, and (new this year) making entries in my prayer journal, and my journal for M.
Part of my relaxing time is often reading articles over at Power of Moms. It's a site with an incredible amount of resources, all focused on "deliberate moms". A site with constant encouragement to keep up the good work and the daily decision to be the best moms to our kids. The articles are honest- often exactly what I'm thinking- so it's not like the writers hold themselves on a pedestal, but instead they write about the conscious choice to respond in love when it's difficult...and whether they lost their cool or not! :) They also have organizational resources, schooling tips, podcasts on all kinds of topics, just to name a few things. Please go check it out!!
Recently, they put out a call for Ambassadors. Moms who would like to spread the word about their mission and purpose. I applied and was super excited to be accepted! In the application, I had to write why I wanted to become an Ambassador. I wrote that I wanted to champion the cause of moms with small families. So many of their contributors have 3 kids under 3, or 5 kids from age 2 to 14, and while I imagine those situations are truly challenging to manage sometimes, moms of one or two kids can have many of the same stressors and full plates.
I'll be posting about a book they are releasing soon- I've had the chance to preview it, and so far it is AWESOME! I have their first book, and it is one of the mainstays on my night table. This new book is even better, so I hope that once you learn more about it, you will consider ordering it for yourself or a mom in your life.
So, so grateful I'm even in a position to be a motherhood ambassador- for so many years, it seemed like I would never qualify!
I would say I cook 98% of all of our meals from scratch (loving every minute!) because I think that is healthiest and most economical, but also because the time it takes to chop and cook and set the table (usually no more than half an hour) allows us time together at the end of each day to reconnect and learn and laugh.
As far as what is important to us in our home, I would say contentment and simplicity. We have comfortable furnishings and a nice house, and I do my best to declutter (currently doing my Lenten cleaning each day and it is awesome!!) so that we can have a peaceful space to come home to and relax in. M has plenty of toys, but they all have their space up and away from being a huge mess on the floor, and if it appears that there isn't enough room in the bins, we prioritize which ones we'd like to keep and donate the rest. Each night the kitchen is clean, the counters are clear, the mail is sorted, and all the toys are put back away before we are all in bed. Waking up to a clean house sets the tone for a good day, I think!
But more than material things, we value calm voices, encouraging words, and peaceful conversation. I was raised in a yelling house, and nothing good comes from yelling. Of course I have raised my voice, but do you know what happened the last time? M started to yell back at me, and that hit me like a ton of bricks. No way did I want my daughter growing up with that kind of frustration-coping mechanism. I don't think I have yelled since. There are moments which require stern redirection or correction, but because we try to make it a habit not to raise our voices, M is very receptive to even the most serious of tones.
I try to be an example to M of healthy life choices. She sees me making healthy food choices, and because we do it twice a day, she is learning the value of walking the dogs (for both dog and human!). I try to give myself some relaxing time right before going to sleep for reading blogs, reading some of whatever book I'm reading, and (new this year) making entries in my prayer journal, and my journal for M.
Part of my relaxing time is often reading articles over at Power of Moms. It's a site with an incredible amount of resources, all focused on "deliberate moms". A site with constant encouragement to keep up the good work and the daily decision to be the best moms to our kids. The articles are honest- often exactly what I'm thinking- so it's not like the writers hold themselves on a pedestal, but instead they write about the conscious choice to respond in love when it's difficult...and whether they lost their cool or not! :) They also have organizational resources, schooling tips, podcasts on all kinds of topics, just to name a few things. Please go check it out!!
Recently, they put out a call for Ambassadors. Moms who would like to spread the word about their mission and purpose. I applied and was super excited to be accepted! In the application, I had to write why I wanted to become an Ambassador. I wrote that I wanted to champion the cause of moms with small families. So many of their contributors have 3 kids under 3, or 5 kids from age 2 to 14, and while I imagine those situations are truly challenging to manage sometimes, moms of one or two kids can have many of the same stressors and full plates.
I'll be posting about a book they are releasing soon- I've had the chance to preview it, and so far it is AWESOME! I have their first book, and it is one of the mainstays on my night table. This new book is even better, so I hope that once you learn more about it, you will consider ordering it for yourself or a mom in your life.
So, so grateful I'm even in a position to be a motherhood ambassador- for so many years, it seemed like I would never qualify!
What now?
Friday, February 21, 2014
It's been a relatively quiet week, and at the same time not so quiet. Quiet in the sense that it is slowly sinking in that we really sold the house, and not so quiet in the sense that Mr. A's aunt passed away and we are preparing ourselves to fly cross country for her funeral. Tips for flying (2+ hour flights and 2 hour layovers) with a 2 year old appreciated :)
With all the hubub of closing last week and buying crazy expensive airline tickets this week, and just the rigors of every day working and home life, I haven't dwelled (dwelt?) so much on secondary infertility recently. I'm sure that will come back closer to home this weekend when I start a new cycle ;-)
Life is good these days, and I'm so thankful for it. Thank God for His mercy :)
With all the hubub of closing last week and buying crazy expensive airline tickets this week, and just the rigors of every day working and home life, I haven't dwelled (dwelt?) so much on secondary infertility recently. I'm sure that will come back closer to home this weekend when I start a new cycle ;-)
Life is good these days, and I'm so thankful for it. Thank God for His mercy :)
Sold (Recap)
Friday, February 14, 2014
We did it- closed on the house today!! It is all at the same time anti-climatic and monumentally relieving. We sat at home this afternoon and joked, "What do we worry about now? What we will we do on the weekends now instead of going up to check on the place?" Hahaha
This whole house selling process has been very interesting faith-wise. When we first listed it, I was doing a Bible study of David with a good friend of mine, and I was feeling rather in the dark compared to David's direct question and answer sessions with God. I remember writing at some point in our study that I wanted this selling process and my faith that God would bless us with a sale to redeem my rocky trying to conceive journey.
We received a couple really lowball offers pretty quickly after we listed it, but we had a bottom line and both offers were below it. I prayed for God to send us an offer that we could accept, and a little before Christmas, we got such an offer. I felt such at peace- yes, this offer was from God. Throughout everything, all the little concerns and issues, I felt totally at peace. This offer was from God- He would see us through. That carried me all the way to two weeks ago, when we had the fairly major issue come up. I tried so hard to weather it with the same peace, but the doubt crept in, and I ended up feeling betrayed. A big, bold, unfaithful word, but I felt it. I said, again Lord? Really? We can't wait 4 years for this house to sell like we could wait for M. I feel like at that point I was begging God for mercy every other hour. At one point I was driving, and I prayed, Look God, this is all You. You need to fix this, and I can't wait to see your redemption. I had never really prayed that way before, and it was definitely a vulnerable prayer. The situation was out of my control, and the only thing I could do was wait and see what God was going to do about it.
The funny thing is that just earlier in that week, I had been talking with a friend of mine who miscarried last April and who hasn't conceived again (they are hoping to, for sure). I was telling her that after all we went through, after all we scheduled and medicined and timed, at the end of it all, we just said, okay it's in God's hands. Let's just see what He does with it. And along came M. {I know it doesn't happen that way for everyone, and I think babies conceived after scheduling and medicining and timing are just as much miracles as anyone!} Anyway, the point is that she is feeling like it is so out of her control, and I was saying that maybe when it's so out of our control, that's when God can shine.
So when the big issue came up, I caught myself chuckling at my earlier comments because I needed to say them to myself at that point. As I had written recently, the issue resolved, and here we are tonight, owners of just our (one) house. {All this snow also threatened to put a wrench in the closing, but I had returned to my peace-prevails outlook, and I knew that it would all work out.}
As it has ended up, I think I felt more peace and confidence during this house selling process than I ever had trying to conceive. It is very cool, and I am so grateful for the chance to experience this contentment amidst what felt like constant attacks from Satan to lure us into believing God didn't care. I am humbled that even after my foray with doubt a couple weeks ago, God remained by our sides in blessing of the sale.
Now that this big situation is behind us, it'll be back to regularly-scheduled programming. Until we decide that we are too fed up with our HOA here and want to get the bleep out of dodge to a real country place with cows for neighbors ;-) You can't wait for another house sale, can you?
This whole house selling process has been very interesting faith-wise. When we first listed it, I was doing a Bible study of David with a good friend of mine, and I was feeling rather in the dark compared to David's direct question and answer sessions with God. I remember writing at some point in our study that I wanted this selling process and my faith that God would bless us with a sale to redeem my rocky trying to conceive journey.
We received a couple really lowball offers pretty quickly after we listed it, but we had a bottom line and both offers were below it. I prayed for God to send us an offer that we could accept, and a little before Christmas, we got such an offer. I felt such at peace- yes, this offer was from God. Throughout everything, all the little concerns and issues, I felt totally at peace. This offer was from God- He would see us through. That carried me all the way to two weeks ago, when we had the fairly major issue come up. I tried so hard to weather it with the same peace, but the doubt crept in, and I ended up feeling betrayed. A big, bold, unfaithful word, but I felt it. I said, again Lord? Really? We can't wait 4 years for this house to sell like we could wait for M. I feel like at that point I was begging God for mercy every other hour. At one point I was driving, and I prayed, Look God, this is all You. You need to fix this, and I can't wait to see your redemption. I had never really prayed that way before, and it was definitely a vulnerable prayer. The situation was out of my control, and the only thing I could do was wait and see what God was going to do about it.
The funny thing is that just earlier in that week, I had been talking with a friend of mine who miscarried last April and who hasn't conceived again (they are hoping to, for sure). I was telling her that after all we went through, after all we scheduled and medicined and timed, at the end of it all, we just said, okay it's in God's hands. Let's just see what He does with it. And along came M. {I know it doesn't happen that way for everyone, and I think babies conceived after scheduling and medicining and timing are just as much miracles as anyone!} Anyway, the point is that she is feeling like it is so out of her control, and I was saying that maybe when it's so out of our control, that's when God can shine.
So when the big issue came up, I caught myself chuckling at my earlier comments because I needed to say them to myself at that point. As I had written recently, the issue resolved, and here we are tonight, owners of just our (one) house. {All this snow also threatened to put a wrench in the closing, but I had returned to my peace-prevails outlook, and I knew that it would all work out.}
As it has ended up, I think I felt more peace and confidence during this house selling process than I ever had trying to conceive. It is very cool, and I am so grateful for the chance to experience this contentment amidst what felt like constant attacks from Satan to lure us into believing God didn't care. I am humbled that even after my foray with doubt a couple weeks ago, God remained by our sides in blessing of the sale.
Now that this big situation is behind us, it'll be back to regularly-scheduled programming. Until we decide that we are too fed up with our HOA here and want to get the bleep out of dodge to a real country place with cows for neighbors ;-) You can't wait for another house sale, can you?
Almost there
Sunday, February 09, 2014
This Friday, girls...closing day on our house. Lord, have mercy and bless this sale.
We had almost-a-catastrophe happen in reference to an H-O-A situation, and thanks to our contractor, it has been resolved. In all seriousness, we probably owe the sale to him and his willingness to go to bat for us, magnified because we don't live in the area anymore. If anyone needs an awesome, stand-up contractor in Virginia, please email me for their contact info.
We had almost-a-catastrophe happen in reference to an H-O-A situation, and thanks to our contractor, it has been resolved. In all seriousness, we probably owe the sale to him and his willingness to go to bat for us, magnified because we don't live in the area anymore. If anyone needs an awesome, stand-up contractor in Virginia, please email me for their contact info.
12 More Days
Sunday, February 02, 2014
Lord, have mercy. Please guard our townhouse from all harm in the next 12 days!!!
Had an awesome day!! Making it to 8:30am church kicks our butts every.single.weekend, but going that early makes the rest of the day so great (the other service is not until 11:30- not sure why we can't have a nice normal 10!)! We folded and put away ALL the laundry, played outside for a long while, went to Panera for lunch and saw our favorite cashier (we might go there a little too often...), trimmed the berry bushes, and made waffles and bacon for dinner (because one of the sad, sad casualties of 8:30am church is no big breakfast- major sad situation because we LOVE our big weekend breakfasts).
Also awesome is that M is starting to say "awesome". Hahahaha ;-)
But more awesome is that we love our church's Glory to God rendition, and so I end up singing/humming it all week, and now M does the same thing. It is to the point where if I start singing it, she will interrupt me and say, "No, I sing Glory to God!" And then she sings it to the dogs or her babies or to the backup Nativity Set, whose members are shacking up with her dollhouse family right now ;-)
I've added a sibling for M to my Petition list in my prayer journal. But the biggest, boldest prayer right now is for the sale of our townhouse- after that we can move onto other requests!!
Had an awesome day!! Making it to 8:30am church kicks our butts every.single.weekend, but going that early makes the rest of the day so great (the other service is not until 11:30- not sure why we can't have a nice normal 10!)! We folded and put away ALL the laundry, played outside for a long while, went to Panera for lunch and saw our favorite cashier (we might go there a little too often...), trimmed the berry bushes, and made waffles and bacon for dinner (because one of the sad, sad casualties of 8:30am church is no big breakfast- major sad situation because we LOVE our big weekend breakfasts).
Also awesome is that M is starting to say "awesome". Hahahaha ;-)
But more awesome is that we love our church's Glory to God rendition, and so I end up singing/humming it all week, and now M does the same thing. It is to the point where if I start singing it, she will interrupt me and say, "No, I sing Glory to God!" And then she sings it to the dogs or her babies or to the backup Nativity Set, whose members are shacking up with her dollhouse family right now ;-)
I've added a sibling for M to my Petition list in my prayer journal. But the biggest, boldest prayer right now is for the sale of our townhouse- after that we can move onto other requests!!
Benign!
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Lord, thank you for Your mercy :)
I'm on CD3 today, but what with the benign thyroid biopsy and closing on our townhouse in a couple weeks looking very likely, I'll let not getting a BFP slide this time ;-) Can't have too much excitement- gotta save something for later! Haha :)
Thank you all for your prayers!
I'm on CD3 today, but what with the benign thyroid biopsy and closing on our townhouse in a couple weeks looking very likely, I'll let not getting a BFP slide this time ;-) Can't have too much excitement- gotta save something for later! Haha :)
Thank you all for your prayers!
New Today/New Tomorrow
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
I know it's been too long- no good excuse really. I really am going to try to revive this space in 2014, and I hope someone will hold me to it :)
After much praying (first we started out with high hopes to St. Joseph, and when he seemed a little uninterested, we resorted to the simple but to-the-point "Lord, have mercy on us" hahaha), we received a contract on our place just before Christmas. A Christmas miracle, if you will. (Incidentally I always prayed for a Christmas miracle when we were trying to have a baby, and I never got one, so here it finally is in a different answered prayer!) Just today we have agreed and signed and initialed the buyer's requests following the home inspection, so God willing, we will close early this year. We are so, so grateful and so, so hopeful that God will continue to bless the sale of our home.
And also new today is a new cycle. Good thing everyone else will be drunk, too! Haha ;-) We have been praying our hearts out for our house to sell, and so now that it seems like that one should be good to go, maybe I'll let myself dream about a sibling for M. In the likely event that that doesn't happen though, we are thinking of maybe remodeling an upstairs bedroom to be a manly office for DH. It'll be nice for him to have his own space, and it's not like we really need the extra bedroom!
New tomorrow is 2014. Please be nice to us, okay? ;-)
After much praying (first we started out with high hopes to St. Joseph, and when he seemed a little uninterested, we resorted to the simple but to-the-point "Lord, have mercy on us" hahaha), we received a contract on our place just before Christmas. A Christmas miracle, if you will. (Incidentally I always prayed for a Christmas miracle when we were trying to have a baby, and I never got one, so here it finally is in a different answered prayer!) Just today we have agreed and signed and initialed the buyer's requests following the home inspection, so God willing, we will close early this year. We are so, so grateful and so, so hopeful that God will continue to bless the sale of our home.
And also new today is a new cycle. Good thing everyone else will be drunk, too! Haha ;-) We have been praying our hearts out for our house to sell, and so now that it seems like that one should be good to go, maybe I'll let myself dream about a sibling for M. In the likely event that that doesn't happen though, we are thinking of maybe remodeling an upstairs bedroom to be a manly office for DH. It'll be nice for him to have his own space, and it's not like we really need the extra bedroom!
New tomorrow is 2014. Please be nice to us, okay? ;-)
It's a.... townhouse for sale!
Friday, November 01, 2013
I know I've not posted in over a month, but we have been busting our tails updating our townhouse in Northern Virginia... if anyone is in the market for one, it's walking distance to the new Metro line and it is an awesome space. Email me for details!
(PS. Nothing else is new- Mr. A went out with his buddies tonight because every other Friday night in Oct he has been up at the "new place" as M calls it, and we have been joining him most of the Saturdays. It's made for quite the month, and we are praying for a great buyer who will be very happy there!)
(PS. Nothing else is new- Mr. A went out with his buddies tonight because every other Friday night in Oct he has been up at the "new place" as M calls it, and we have been joining him most of the Saturdays. It's made for quite the month, and we are praying for a great buyer who will be very happy there!)
CD24 (?) and other random things
Friday, August 30, 2013
So to wrap up about my pity party: fairly light bleeding for a week, totally unlike any period I've ever had before. If I count it as a normal one, though, today is cd24. I had no fertile CM this "cycle", which is totally weird. Every now and then, I wonder if maybe I will end up on M-T.V, not knowing I was pregnant (because isn't that what everyone always says: "I had a few days of bleeding and thought it was my period"?), but I don't think I'm that lucky for that to happen. Will keep you posted...
Tonight I'm going to my first gender reveal party. A good friend I've made here is due in mid-January with her second baby. Her first daughter is 6 months older than M, and she lives right over the hill, so we see them at least once a week. It is often bittersweet, because I would love for M to have a sibling, but I've just accepted that some visits I feel totally fine with her pregnancy (a total "oops"), and other times the longing I feel is fairly pronounced. But my super-fine-with-it alter ego is throwing her a stock-the-freezer party in December, because I love to cook, and I cherish her friendship. Isn't that a nice alter-ego? ;-)
Other than that, this fall I have big plans for reorganizing, or really organizing for the first time, my perennial beds. At this point, I have idea of what blooms best where and at what time, so I'm hoping that my big plans materialize! I might even get all fancy and make a schematic of where I'd like to put stuff...oooooh! Some of my big plans: remove two scraggly evergreen bushes in front of the house, move perennial bush to where the evergreens used to be; move blueberry bush to more sun and add another blueberry bush; make room for strawberry plants. Maybe if I make an actual list, it will help me be accountable :)
I am 5lbs away from my new, revised weight goal. My original goal was 8lbs ago, but once I got there, I figured why stop there? I signed up for an 8k in November with my cousin, and I'm hoping that the extra running will help me get the last pounds off. I have not been at this weight since mid-highschool! hahaha It feels great!!! All I can say is: PORTION CONTROL...even more than consistent working out, although that is a big part, too. When I began my weight loss a year ago, I was completely astonished at how much more I was eating that I needed to/was supposed to. I eat the same exact things (well, more lunch salads because I can eat more for the calories!), just more reasonable portions. I am down 33 pounds, and hopefully I will lose the other 5 by the end of this year! Yipee! At least if I can't be pregnant again, I can be a very in-shape mama ;-)
Tonight I'm going to my first gender reveal party. A good friend I've made here is due in mid-January with her second baby. Her first daughter is 6 months older than M, and she lives right over the hill, so we see them at least once a week. It is often bittersweet, because I would love for M to have a sibling, but I've just accepted that some visits I feel totally fine with her pregnancy (a total "oops"), and other times the longing I feel is fairly pronounced. But my super-fine-with-it alter ego is throwing her a stock-the-freezer party in December, because I love to cook, and I cherish her friendship. Isn't that a nice alter-ego? ;-)
Other than that, this fall I have big plans for reorganizing, or really organizing for the first time, my perennial beds. At this point, I have idea of what blooms best where and at what time, so I'm hoping that my big plans materialize! I might even get all fancy and make a schematic of where I'd like to put stuff...oooooh! Some of my big plans: remove two scraggly evergreen bushes in front of the house, move perennial bush to where the evergreens used to be; move blueberry bush to more sun and add another blueberry bush; make room for strawberry plants. Maybe if I make an actual list, it will help me be accountable :)
I am 5lbs away from my new, revised weight goal. My original goal was 8lbs ago, but once I got there, I figured why stop there? I signed up for an 8k in November with my cousin, and I'm hoping that the extra running will help me get the last pounds off. I have not been at this weight since mid-highschool! hahaha It feels great!!! All I can say is: PORTION CONTROL...even more than consistent working out, although that is a big part, too. When I began my weight loss a year ago, I was completely astonished at how much more I was eating that I needed to/was supposed to. I eat the same exact things (well, more lunch salads because I can eat more for the calories!), just more reasonable portions. I am down 33 pounds, and hopefully I will lose the other 5 by the end of this year! Yipee! At least if I can't be pregnant again, I can be a very in-shape mama ;-)
End of an era
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Apparently, the free blog template that I've been using for 4 years (has it really been that long?!) is not really working anymore- I guess they removed some of the pictures or something! I love this template, so I'm really sad that I will need to find a new one. I've been searching for unique free blog templates, but so far they all look so much the same. Blah. I need to make up my mind, though, because the error picture on the left-hand side is bugging me ;-)
(And an update on my friend who miscarried her baby- we have talked/emailed several times, and it seems as though what I've said/written has been well-received and encouraging to her. Thanks for all your advice!)
(And an update on my friend who miscarried her baby- we have talked/emailed several times, and it seems as though what I've said/written has been well-received and encouraging to her. Thanks for all your advice!)
Belated Happy Easter
Wednesday, April 03, 2013
Our Easter was great this year :-) We filled a whole pew at church, and afterwards we hosted brunch for everyone... 9 adults and 2 tots. I made everything from scratch: spiced nuts, fresh fruit, cinnamon rolls, warm ham, fresh bread, fried potatoes, couscous with peas and pine nuts, spinach salad, breakfast casserole. My sister brought a cake that was excellent, too.
This year, we tried using natural dyes for our eggs. I am so excited about the results! Here are our results (hope the picture loads!) (all white eggs except the first one):
Red cabbage with brown eggs: dark teal
Red cabbage: bright blue
Red onion skins: dark red
Turmeric: yellow
Red zinger tea: green
Yellow onion skins: orange
Red cabbage: bright blue
Red onion skins: dark red
Turmeric: yellow
Red zinger tea: green
Yellow onion skins: orange
Basically you just have to boil the natural ingredient in enough water to cover the eggs for a half hour, then let it cool, strain it, add 1 tbs of vinegar per cup of dye, pour over eggs, and refrigerate overnight. I found the colors to be so much richer than fake dyes- everyone commented on how beautiful they were! What is cool is that I had everything to make the dyes except the red cabbage! I definitely will do this again next year and indefinitely after that!!
Thanks for praying, and Revisiting ttc stuff
Friday, February 15, 2013
I've been meaning to update since last Friday, when we held the neighborhood potluck and raised over $1000 for the family who lost their home!!! There are a few neighbors who I know personally who didn't come for extremely lame reasons, and so while I'm disappointed in them, we had an overall perfect turnout (not too big, not too small), the family felt surrounded by supportive friends, and we even met some young families in the neighborhood that we can now hang out with!! Win, win, win, for sure :) Thank you for praying for the event and for the family :)
A few days ago, I was talking to one of our neighbors, and he said that someone remarked to him that I was just glowing during the dinner. And I think I probably was, because throwing parties is totally in my element, but the word "glowing" has really tough connotations for an infertile/infertility survivor. I mean, other than maybe a bonfire, I don't know any other common use of the word except to describe a pregnant person. And it just brought me back to when my acupuncturist described me as glowing before I ever knew I was pregnant with M. And since the potluck was a couple days before I think I ovulated, I'm now in the early 2ww, and that comment, along with the most pronounced "symptoms" I've had since my cycle returned in August, it totally playing tricks with me. Did you know there is a thing called Early Pregnancy Factor? As if infertiles need any more encouragement that they can feel symptoms before implantation, hahaahahahahaha.
But you know, we are so in love with Maryanne, that if our family is the three of us, we are totally and completely happy. I've been praying lately for the wisdom to know when enough is enough, as far as asking the Lord to expand our family again.
But holy bloating, there better be a good reason for it ;-)
A few days ago, I was talking to one of our neighbors, and he said that someone remarked to him that I was just glowing during the dinner. And I think I probably was, because throwing parties is totally in my element, but the word "glowing" has really tough connotations for an infertile/infertility survivor. I mean, other than maybe a bonfire, I don't know any other common use of the word except to describe a pregnant person. And it just brought me back to when my acupuncturist described me as glowing before I ever knew I was pregnant with M. And since the potluck was a couple days before I think I ovulated, I'm now in the early 2ww, and that comment, along with the most pronounced "symptoms" I've had since my cycle returned in August, it totally playing tricks with me. Did you know there is a thing called Early Pregnancy Factor? As if infertiles need any more encouragement that they can feel symptoms before implantation, hahaahahahahaha.
But you know, we are so in love with Maryanne, that if our family is the three of us, we are totally and completely happy. I've been praying lately for the wisdom to know when enough is enough, as far as asking the Lord to expand our family again.
But holy bloating, there better be a good reason for it ;-)
Prayer Request
Friday, February 01, 2013
Would you please pray for me? One of our neighbors' house burned completely to the ground this week, and I'm feeling compelled to organize a neighborhood-wide potluck to benefit them. I love planning parties, but I have never done anything this large. Would you please pray that everything comes together, and that we have a great turnout, and that the family who lost everything but their lives would feel the support that we have for them?
I would be so grateful! :)
I would be so grateful! :)
CD1
Monday, January 28, 2013
OBVIOUSLY. It would have been too easy, too perfect, to get another BFP almost exactly 2 years later. Stuff like that only happens in the movies. Or to fertile people.
All morning I have been arguing with myself. There is the one half of me who is bummed, sarcastic, and insecure. Then there is the other half of me who sees no reason to complain: there is a perfect little 15-month old peacefully sleeping upstairs after making pie dough and playing with her babydoll and running errands with me this morning.
Over the weekend, I caught myself several times thinking, wow I have finally hit my mom stride. I work out every day, eat well, work full time, practice yoga, make all 98% of our meals from scratch (aside from the maybe one or two times we go out to eat every month), and be the best mom I can be to M. I recently got this cookbook, and I have been way reinspired to make nearly everything homemade, from scratch. Over the weekend, among normal meals, I made granola, 2 loaves of bread, pasta dough into ravioli (enough for 2 meals), breadcrumbs, lots of vegetable purees for secretly nutritional things (although M loves her veggies- she eats peas and green beans before anything else on her plate!), and this morning I made pie dough for my own toaster pastries, i.e. pop tarts. It feels awesome!!
I knew I was towards the end of my cycle, and this weekend I found myself thinking back to the first few months with M when I was a cooking mess- nothing was ready on time, much less at the same time as any other part of the meal, and I just could not get it together. (I know, I've retroactively cut myself some slack, but I felt like such a huge failure at the time.) But as I've been preparing all of these awesome things from my own kitchen, I was thinking, what if I'm pregnant? Will I be able to keep this up when the new baby comes?
Which is just hilarious, as the CVS clerk can attest to the 2 huge boxes of pads I bought this morning. Hahahahaha!
And then last night I started spotting, and I just thought to myself, well duh. Why were you even hoping?
This morning I have been going back and forth all over the place. One minute I am just so disappointed (although to be honest, our timing stunk last cycle, so it was a crazy long shot), and the other minute, I am so grateful that I can give M my undivided attention and love. One minute, I am so jealous of people who get pregnant easily, and the other minute, I am beating myself up because how dare I complain- I have been blessed with M (and also because technically, we got pregnant with her "easily", in that we were on no meds and doing nothing except normal babymaking)!!!
It's a weird thing. I apologize if this is hurtful for those of you with empty arms; if it seems insensitive that I'm complaining about CD1 even though we have M. We are so, so grateful for her, and she is 100% filled the hole in our family. When it comes down to it, we are completely happy if God's plan for our family is the three of us.
But how long do I let myself wonder if our family will ever be any bigger?
All morning I have been arguing with myself. There is the one half of me who is bummed, sarcastic, and insecure. Then there is the other half of me who sees no reason to complain: there is a perfect little 15-month old peacefully sleeping upstairs after making pie dough and playing with her babydoll and running errands with me this morning.
Over the weekend, I caught myself several times thinking, wow I have finally hit my mom stride. I work out every day, eat well, work full time, practice yoga, make all 98% of our meals from scratch (aside from the maybe one or two times we go out to eat every month), and be the best mom I can be to M. I recently got this cookbook, and I have been way reinspired to make nearly everything homemade, from scratch. Over the weekend, among normal meals, I made granola, 2 loaves of bread, pasta dough into ravioli (enough for 2 meals), breadcrumbs, lots of vegetable purees for secretly nutritional things (although M loves her veggies- she eats peas and green beans before anything else on her plate!), and this morning I made pie dough for my own toaster pastries, i.e. pop tarts. It feels awesome!!
I knew I was towards the end of my cycle, and this weekend I found myself thinking back to the first few months with M when I was a cooking mess- nothing was ready on time, much less at the same time as any other part of the meal, and I just could not get it together. (I know, I've retroactively cut myself some slack, but I felt like such a huge failure at the time.) But as I've been preparing all of these awesome things from my own kitchen, I was thinking, what if I'm pregnant? Will I be able to keep this up when the new baby comes?
Which is just hilarious, as the CVS clerk can attest to the 2 huge boxes of pads I bought this morning. Hahahahaha!
And then last night I started spotting, and I just thought to myself, well duh. Why were you even hoping?
This morning I have been going back and forth all over the place. One minute I am just so disappointed (although to be honest, our timing stunk last cycle, so it was a crazy long shot), and the other minute, I am so grateful that I can give M my undivided attention and love. One minute, I am so jealous of people who get pregnant easily, and the other minute, I am beating myself up because how dare I complain- I have been blessed with M (and also because technically, we got pregnant with her "easily", in that we were on no meds and doing nothing except normal babymaking)!!!
It's a weird thing. I apologize if this is hurtful for those of you with empty arms; if it seems insensitive that I'm complaining about CD1 even though we have M. We are so, so grateful for her, and she is 100% filled the hole in our family. When it comes down to it, we are completely happy if God's plan for our family is the three of us.
But how long do I let myself wonder if our family will ever be any bigger?
Who me? An award!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Did you know I still have (at least) one reader? AND, I didn't even know she was a reader! How fun was it for me to check my email, and see that I've been nominated for an award by Erica at Home of the Hansens. I have just gone over and gotten to know her blog, and she has a beautiful daughter and seems of a very similar spirit as me. I'm so so glad she nominated me, so I can add her to my blogroll and keep up with her!! Thank you, Erica!
So anyway, she has given me the Liebster Award, and here are the details:
And now some questions for my nominees!
1. How did your life change in 2012?
2. What is one of your goals for 2013?
3. Real books or e-books?
4. What is your favorite dessert?
5. What do you like most about your personality?
6. Where do you volunteer (or where would you like to, if you had the time)?
7. What is your favorite book and/or author?
8. What do you do to relax after a long day?
9. What is your favorite holiday?
10. Who are your pets?
11. How would you rate your cooking skills?
Hopefully we can all find new things to connect about! Thanks again Erica for nominating me for this award :)
So anyway, she has given me the Liebster Award, and here are the details:
- List 11 facts about yourself
- Answer the 11 questions the blogger who nominated you left
- Ask 11 new questions for those you nominate
- Choose 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers to nominate
- Go to each bloggers page and let them know about the award
- Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog
- I am addicted to Lands End clothes. Especially since I've lost 30 lbs since September, and I literally needed some new clothes that fit. Someone take their website down! Hahaha
- I took classical ballet for 8 years when I was younger (gradeschool/middleschool), and I was in our production of The Nutcracker each year, so I was everything from a soldier (my first year) to a snowflake and Arabian (solo) (my last year)!
- Roasted Chicken is one of my favorite things to make for dinner. Not only is it pretty easy to make (just stuff some herb butter under the skin and on the outside and throw it in the oven for a couple hours), but it is so versatile- you can make stock from the bones, and unless you have a family of 5 or something, you can get at least 2 meals from the meat!
- One of my goals for 2013 is a whole-house purge. Every closet is (hypothetically) going to get emptied, and stuff we dont use is either going to the trash or the early summer neighborhood yard sale.
- I've been at my job for ten and a half years. WHOA. Where on earth did the time go?
- I have been practicing yoga for 2 years now, and I absolutely love it. I love the meditative side for quiet moments, and the power/flow side for weight loss and cardio! I am by no means an expert (I tried to do a headstand against the wall, and all I have to say is YAH RIGHT! hahahhahaha), but I guess I will get more adventurous as the years go by :)
- I love to be outside. I take M outside to play at every opportunity, and I hope she grows up liking being outside with me!
- I've run 2 full marathons (4:02 and 4:19), 2 half marathons (1:56 and 2:04), and lots of 10-milers. That was in my previous running life, but I absolutely loved running! Maybe someday I will be the super-fit 50-something who goes cruising by the 20-something in the last mile ;-)
- I'm the oldest of 4 kids...and now that we are all grown up, we are really good friends :)
- I really want to keep up better with my blog. I am thinking about making a commitment to myself to post once a week. That shouldn't be too hard, should it?
- I've never been to New York City- the traffic and chaos kind of scares me!!
1. If you could switch places with anyone for a day, who would you choose? One of my younger siblings. I think it would be so neat to have an older sibling.
2. Favorite season and why It used to be summer, but since we moved to our rural mountain/valley location 5 years ago, my favorite season is fall I think. It so beautiful, and the temperatures are refreshing after the hot summer
3. Who is your greatest role model? (And don't say Jesus.) I think I would choose my Aunt. She is an awesome wife and mom, and also she is incredibly faithful/spiritual, and amidst all the hurry of managing her large family, she still makes time for herself and hobbies that make her happy.
4. What is one thing you hope the next generation will change? I hope they will get back to more traditional values and expectations of hard work and success.
5. If you had to live every day in the same pair of shoes, what shoes would you pick? My driving mocs from Lands End. (see #1 of facts about me, hahahaha)
6. How many children do you hope to have? (And do you have names picked out?) I would love to have 3, but after how long it took to conceive M, I am not holding my breath. I dream of being one of the infertile-turned-fertile people, but also not holding my breath... We like the name Felix if we ever have a boy..?
7. What are three words you would hope someone would use to describe you? Optimistic, Generous, Friendly
8. What is your worst habit? Not washing my face at night
9. What is your favorite scent? Homemade rolls baking. Or anything cooking that fills the house with a homey scent :)
10. In one sentence, what do you believe is the purpose of life? I believe that one should live their lives in a way which inspires others to be the best people they can be and not settle for mediocre or what everyone else is doing or what is cool at the time.
11. If you could excel in any special skill or talent, what would you choose? I would choose being patient all the time. Haha :)
Here are my nominees!
1. How did your life change in 2012?
2. What is one of your goals for 2013?
3. Real books or e-books?
4. What is your favorite dessert?
5. What do you like most about your personality?
6. Where do you volunteer (or where would you like to, if you had the time)?
7. What is your favorite book and/or author?
8. What do you do to relax after a long day?
9. What is your favorite holiday?
10. Who are your pets?
11. How would you rate your cooking skills?
Hopefully we can all find new things to connect about! Thanks again Erica for nominating me for this award :)
Some things
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
*As obnoxious as it sounds and feels, I am starting to struggle with infertility survivors who go on to become pregnant with #2+ without trying. My feelings have been bubbling deep for months now, and they are only getting stronger. It isn't nearly as difficult as before we had Maryanne, but I would love to be able to have another baby (greedy?), and given how long it took last time, I am so insecure about if it will ever happen again. And of course everyone I tell that to has some story about someone who had an awful time conceiving baby #1 but then baby #2 was easy peasy, and that just doesn't help me feel better at all. Blech. It's hard not to feel guilty for feeling this way.
*Speaking of infertility, I would like your advice, especially any of you who are still waiting and still reading. One of my best friends started trying a year after we did, so by now they have been trying for about the same time (or maybe a little longer?) than we did before we conceived. We were very close before I got pregnant, and we kept in touch really frequently while I was pregnant, and we always promised each other that whoever got off the "infertility train" first wouldn't leave the other person out of anything, e.g. baby pictures, celebrations, updates. Fast forward to this past spring, and communication from her has just about dropped to nothing. (She did thoughtfully send Maryanne a birthday gift, but all my texts/emails to thank her have gone unanswered...) She has a busy job, and I try to convince myself that she is just busy with that, but I can't help but feel my heart ache that it's getting too tough for her to keep up with me. What do I do? I don't want to leave her out, because I never wanted to be left out and neither did she, and it's not like I'm mobbing her with texts and emails and calls- maybe once every two/three weeks, but I don't want to keep trying to contact her if she honestly needs time and/or space. I would love to hear how she's doing, and Maryanne and I pray for her every night that God would bless them with a baby. Should I include a family picture of us in their Christmas card? My head says yes, based on our previous conversations, but my heart stings and hesitates....
*I have lost 25 lbs since September, and I am SO excited about it. I have not done any specific diet (other than eat more veggies/fruits/salads just because they have less calories than other alternatives), but I have made a commitment to exercise while Maryanne is napping, and two words: PORTION CONTROL. I am back to the size I was 10+ years ago, and it feels awesome.
*I can't believe that it's already (almost) December. Where did this year go??? Thanks to those of you who are still reading- I know I haven't been very good about posting, but I still read all y'all blogroll buddies (on my phone mostly) :)
*Speaking of infertility, I would like your advice, especially any of you who are still waiting and still reading. One of my best friends started trying a year after we did, so by now they have been trying for about the same time (or maybe a little longer?) than we did before we conceived. We were very close before I got pregnant, and we kept in touch really frequently while I was pregnant, and we always promised each other that whoever got off the "infertility train" first wouldn't leave the other person out of anything, e.g. baby pictures, celebrations, updates. Fast forward to this past spring, and communication from her has just about dropped to nothing. (She did thoughtfully send Maryanne a birthday gift, but all my texts/emails to thank her have gone unanswered...) She has a busy job, and I try to convince myself that she is just busy with that, but I can't help but feel my heart ache that it's getting too tough for her to keep up with me. What do I do? I don't want to leave her out, because I never wanted to be left out and neither did she, and it's not like I'm mobbing her with texts and emails and calls- maybe once every two/three weeks, but I don't want to keep trying to contact her if she honestly needs time and/or space. I would love to hear how she's doing, and Maryanne and I pray for her every night that God would bless them with a baby. Should I include a family picture of us in their Christmas card? My head says yes, based on our previous conversations, but my heart stings and hesitates....
*I have lost 25 lbs since September, and I am SO excited about it. I have not done any specific diet (other than eat more veggies/fruits/salads just because they have less calories than other alternatives), but I have made a commitment to exercise while Maryanne is napping, and two words: PORTION CONTROL. I am back to the size I was 10+ years ago, and it feels awesome.
*I can't believe that it's already (almost) December. Where did this year go??? Thanks to those of you who are still reading- I know I haven't been very good about posting, but I still read all y'all blogroll buddies (on my phone mostly) :)
Aaaand a response
Friday, November 09, 2012
I was not surprised to get a dissenting comment on my last post....but I maintain my position:
Hi Leah, I'm sorry that you consider yourself a former reader. I don't claim to know everything or be right all the time or say that one party is more Christian than the other (both parties honor various Christian concepts in my opinion), but what my post was about and what I do know is that Obama supports giving women the right to murder their babies, even supporting partial birth abortion. In my heart, I cannot understand why people who call themselves Christians give Obama a pass on this stance of his because he also wants to help the poor. Did Jesus want to help the poor or want to see everyone with God-given dignity? Of course, and I agree with you that we should all endeavor to help those less fortunate than ourselves.
But would Jesus think it was fine for someone to kill someone else? Not a chance, not ever. And I think it's a tragedy for our nation to place any modern social concern above the safety of its people. When babies are allowed to be killed, they are no longer safe. None of us are safe when all of a sudden it is okay for one citizen to kill another for whatever reason.
That is why it's a tragedy.
Hi Leah, I'm sorry that you consider yourself a former reader. I don't claim to know everything or be right all the time or say that one party is more Christian than the other (both parties honor various Christian concepts in my opinion), but what my post was about and what I do know is that Obama supports giving women the right to murder their babies, even supporting partial birth abortion. In my heart, I cannot understand why people who call themselves Christians give Obama a pass on this stance of his because he also wants to help the poor. Did Jesus want to help the poor or want to see everyone with God-given dignity? Of course, and I agree with you that we should all endeavor to help those less fortunate than ourselves.
But would Jesus think it was fine for someone to kill someone else? Not a chance, not ever. And I think it's a tragedy for our nation to place any modern social concern above the safety of its people. When babies are allowed to be killed, they are no longer safe. None of us are safe when all of a sudden it is okay for one citizen to kill another for whatever reason.
That is why it's a tragedy.
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