An infertile walks into an OB office...

Actually, it is my normal ob/gyn's office. And, by some cosmic wierdness, I think there were probably 8 other women in the waiting room, and they were all visibly pregnant. It must have been Divine intervention that the times in the last three years that I've gone there for my annual appointments there were only older women and younger (not visibly pregnant, if they were) women there.

So I filled out all the intake paperwork (because, of course I had left the exact same paperwork that they had mailed me and that I had filled out...at home). I get called back, and the tech asks me what I weighed before I was pregnant.

Time sort of stood still at that point- I couldn't believe that I am here, talking about me being pregnant. I am going to pee in a cup, and the test they do will be like the 6 I've done in the past month that were all positive.

Turns out I am up one pound from what I weighed in August. I consider that to be not too shabby, considering I ate (and drank) plenty of extra calories over Thanksgiving and Christmas. I guess I may have weighed more 4 weeks ago, but with the nausea that so pleasantly reminds me that there's a little one along for the ride, I may have lost some recently (just by not wanting to eat anything). I refuse to buy a bathroom scale, so day-to-day, I am blissfully ignorant.

The midwife is awesome. I am so glad I decided to see her. She didn't even blink an eye when she asked me about what I'd written on the "questions or concerns about this pregnancy". It went something like this:

Having struggled with infertility, I imagine I will be fairly "needy" when it comes to this pregnancy- as far as hearing the heartbeat often and coming for ultrasounds as often as possible/safe/waranted. That being said, I haven't had any indication that there is anything wrong, and I'm praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby!"

Yes, I wrote that I am going to be needy on a medical form!!! Hahaha :) I was cracking myself up, but the midwife needed to know this!!! She responded with wonderful empathy and interest in what we'd been through. It was perfect.

Since my last annual was just in August and it was normal, they didn't do another pap. THANK THE LORD. And I do mean, thank God. Because I was really nervous about someone messing with my cervix right now. I was going to beg and plead to not have one if they were going to make me.

I asked her about ultrasounds, and she said that basically only two are authorized under normal circumstances- one to confirm/date the pregnancy, and the big 20-week one. (I declined the NT scan and the other malady scans- it wouldn't change what we'd "do" about the pregnancy, and I think if there were even a tiny thing wrong or even debatable, I'd spend the rest of my pregnancy worrying about it.)

I may have neglected to interrupt her here and tell her that we already had one at 6w2d. I don't know if that is hugely shameful or not, but I am hoping that (from insurance perspective), this one will still be covered because it is the first from the OB office. It's not like I was under the RE's care when we conceived, so.... AND, it is good to have another one to confirm that the baby is growing healthily and the dates we thought are still on track. RIGHT??

Then she told me that this ultrasound would be transvaginal, and had I ever had one? I've had hundreds, I told her! She laughed, because she realized as soon as she said it that I would have had some from all the procedures last year.

The ultrasound tech was fast! My midwife was in the room, too, and she was rubbing my shoulder when the baby came onto the screen. I think she knows how much this little one means to us, and how blessed we feel. The baby looks right on track- even wiggling some!- and has a heartbeat of about 150. She said that was great, and the ultrasound tech told me that she had struggled with infertility, too, so she knew how I felt. They gave me 4 pictures! I added a new page for ultrasounds (to the right, above my ticker), so if you want, you can see what I think is the best one.

I still have a hard time believing that this is all happening. It is extremely difficult to put into words how grateful I am, and how amazing it is that this baby is here and growing perfectly! After all we tried last year (and the two-plus years prior) that failed, I really didn't think that we would ever have success on our own. I am speechless with how remarkable it is that there is a wiggling PERSON inside my very own womb whose heart is beating and who is growing up a storm. I am not taking one second of this experience for granted- it is really sad to me how many women take pregnancy and children as totally routine and normal and boring.

I honestly was 2% sure that God would bless us with a baby (pregnancy), and probably 0.5% sure that it would be the old-fashioned way. Just goes to show you that your estimations of what God has in store for you have a good chance of being way off. If you are still waiting for your miracle baby today and your mother's heart is broken, perhaps this verse (which is one of my top three post-it'ed on my computer) will comfort and encourage you today. I can't tell you how many times I repeated it to myself in the darkest of times! God's purpose of expanding your family cannot be thwarted!!!

I know that You can do all things,
and that
no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
(Job 42:2)