Dogs and Diapers

Friday, July 29, 2011

A year ago today, we met Bert at the SPCA for the first time. I can't believe he's been home for an entire year already!! (Well, almost; we actually brought him home on the 30th).

What is even more hard to wrap my head around is that I'm sitting here today, with Bert running around outside enjoying the cool(ish) morning, and Banana napping on the chair in the living room, and a baby girl thumping around in my belly.

I hope these reflection posts aren't annoying.

Last year, we were getting ready to pour our hearts into a new pup. It was refreshing and exciting for us- a little one who needed some love and direction. We'd had over three years of failed trying for a baby to nurture, and while any infertile will tell you animals are not an exact substitute for a baby, our animals filled a big part of the hole in our family. Bert could not have come into our family at a more crucial time. We loved training him, even in the challenging moments, teaching him what it's like to be a part of our pack. It was so exciting for us to prepare for his arrival- new collar, new bed, new toys. And it is so satisfying to look back on the past year and to see how we have all grown together.

Here I sit again preparing for a new little one. Yesterday morning I started prepping her diapers (prefolds) and wipes, and I'm continuing the process this morning (they are in the 2nd hot wash right now). I have been meaning to start prepping her diapers for a few weeks now, but I was a little afraid. They looked so perfect and new in their packaging- what if I messed them up? But yesterday and today it's supposed to be sunny and almost 100F, so I figured it was time to jump into the diaper prepping so I can line dry them in between washes to save energy. So far so good!!!

It feels so exciting and so weird at the same time to be doing this kind of stuff. Last year, we were so convinced that we'd never welcome a baby into our family, we adopted Bert. I think that celebrating his homecoming and starting to do more "real" baby preparations has caused my head to spin a little bit. I would rather do 18 loads of baby preparation laundry than do my work, and all I can think about while hanging the diapers on the line is all of my friends who are still waiting for their little ones. How last year I was sure that our little one(s) would always only have four paws instead of two hands and two feet.

It is kind of neat to have this blog because it makes me acutely aware of the old cliche of 'what a difference a year makes'. One of my best friends K, who is still struggling with infertility, says that our story has given her hope that one day she will triumph against IF, and be able to look back a year prior and remember how she never thought she would beat it.

After all, a year ago, I never would have dreamed I'd be prepping diapers this summer- instead I was picking up an extra bag of rawhide chips!

If you are feeling like you will never win against IF today, and that your baby will never be in your arms, be encouraged! You never know what the next year will hold :)


Praying for Hope said...

It's very true. One year can make a world of difference. I had a lot of those thoughts too when Kate was on the way. I still have them now that she's here. The whole thing is unreal and amazing. You're an incredibly lucky person, and you obviously know and appreciate that fact. It will make what's coming over the next year even more amazing.

Bridget said...

I'm so happy for you! It has to be so exciting to get things ready for the baby. And what a lucky pup you have!

M.E. said...

I really needed to hear this today. As one who just brought home a new pup, to keep my mind off the fact that I still don't have a child to call my own... this really hit home and I hope a year from now (after I stop screaming about the housebreaking nightmares), I'm in your shoes and prepping diapers as well. Thank you.

Trisha said...

So happy for you and I feel so blessed to be able to walk alongside you during this journey! Have fun with the laundry :)

TeeJay said...

Your post made me cry. I want to hope but it just hurts too much. I'm so glad that you got your miracle and I can't wait until you bring that baby girl home and are using all those diapers you are prepping now. And I look forward to your post next year about how much has changed over this year. So, so happy for you.

Coco said...

Beautiful! I am also blown away at what a difference a year makes! This time last year I was mourning the due-date-birthday of my most recent miscarriage, taking care of a terminal father in my home, and being told by specialists that it was impossible for me to have anymore kids and I should just give up. This year I am excited to be 8 months pregnant and due with a baby girl on my sweet daddy's birthday! *God is GOOD!* Though I think my dad had a little hand in the due date... ;)

Mommy-In-Waiting said...

It is always nice to reflect and see how much a difference a year can make. I know this year I feel far more optimistic than last year, and the year before that. I'm so happy you are finally getting your rainbow=)

Lady Grey said...

Thanks so much for this post. It is so hard to keep hoping, so hard to believe that this nightmare can ever end. But I'm encouraged by your story. Praying that July next year will be baby time for me too :)

myjourneythruinfertility said...

"It is kind of neat to have this blog because it makes me acutely aware of the old cliche of 'what a difference a year makes'."

couldn't agree more!!! it is great reminder that our world and our emotions take us on the roller coaster we call life :)