Back from laying grandpa to rest

Thursday, September 02, 2010

It's tough to even know what to write. We are home safely- and the dogs are home from boarding, the happiest we've ever seen Banana after we picked her up. We think it's because she went there with her brother this time :) Good thing our kids love each other so much :)

The week was very good. Emotionally-draining, but good. Our whole family was there with each other to celebrate and remember grandpa. His wife, his 6 kids, their spouses, and 11 grandchildren. We played lots of cards (one of his favorite hobbies) and drank manhattans (his favorite drink) and sang "You are my Sunshine" (his favorite song). We all cried (it was interesting and somewhat surprising the different times it hit some of us), and we all laughed. Mr. A and two other pall bearers wore argyle socks (his favorite socks- but he used to wear them pulled to his knees with plaid shorts!). We reminded each other of how proud he was of each of us, and how much he loved each of us. We were amazed at how many people came to the visiting hours to support us- it is such a testament to how many people my grandpa influenced in his life.

One of the hardest parts for me was watching my grandma. Sure, she has early Alzhe.imer's, but she sure as anything knows that she just lost her husband and best friend of 57 years. Whenever I would glance over and see her standing by his casket (open for the visitation), crying and holding onto his hand, I just about lost it. I mean, even though he was sick, she could hold his hand one day and then, not the next. I think maybe for her it will be even harder to grieve because I don't think she understood how sick he was before he passed away, so although the rest of us have been sort of "preparing", I think she is more blindsided in some ways. We were sitting on their back porch swing the day before the funeral and I remarked what a beautiful day it was. She teared up and said, "yes, but he isn't here to enjoy it."

What could I even say? I can't even imagine how lost I would feel without Mr. A, after 5 years of marriage, not even after their 57!

I told her that I believe that he can see the beautiful day- that all his days are beautiful now- and that he asked God to make this day beautiful for her to enjoy it. She just held tight to my hand.

The funeral was beautiful, too. We were all crying by the end, even though we all know that Grandpa wouldn't want us to be sad. He has a very peaceful place to rest- shade tree and all. I'm sure God already has him busy doing fix-it jobs in heaven- painting the pearly gates or something- just like he loved those types of things when he was here.

He will surely be missed, but I know he will be cheering us on from his recliner in heaven. With his bowl of peanuts. As he sports some argyle socks. And after he has talked to God about sending one of them baby things to us...

13 comments:

Katie said...

Beautiful post and tribute to your grandpa, A. I know how hard it is to say good-bye to someone you love so much and who has been such an important part of your life. I'm glad that you are remembering the good times, and I'll be thinking of your grandma. My grandpa went ten years without my beloved grandma before he passed away, and I know there was a hole in his heart for those ten years. It's hard to imagine being with someone for so long, and then no longer having them their.

Thinking of you, too.

Coco said...

Oh A... I am so sorry for your loss and pray for you and your family. What a beautiful tribute. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out on my keyboard. And I hope he does send down some little babies for you guys... *hugs*

T said...

Oh what beautiful portrait you just made about your grandfather and grandmother. I pray that I get that much time with my husband.
God bless your family and may your grandfather rest in peace...after he talks to God about sending you a baby. :O)

lowfatlady said...

So sorry for your loss. I am glad that you were able to get together with your family and celebrate him.

One Who Understands said...

Such a sweet post. My grandma passed away a month ago yesterday. It was hardest to see my grandpa, her husband of 50 years, inconsolable. I cannot imagine his pain and loneliness. Even knowing she is in a better place and not fighting cancer anymore was not enough to take away his pain. I lost it every time I looked at him. Praying for you and your family during this difficult time. I hope our grandparents can work a miracle and send our babies down!

Melissa said...

I'm terribly sorry for your loss and pray for your family. Your grandfather would have been very touched by your post & tribute.

{{hugs}}

Praying for Hope said...

Your post made me smile thining about my grandfather. I'm sorry for your loss, and I feel for your grandmother. My grandparents were married for 53 years when my grandfather died. My grandmother took his loss hard, too. I hope your grandmother will soon be able to smile when she thinks about him, remembering all his good qualities and the good times they had together.

Leah said...

I'm so sorry for your loss A. :(

Lynn said...

This is such a touching post. I'm so sorry for your loss, hun, but I think you're handling it well because your grandad is at peace now. I'm so sorry for how it's affecting your grandmother. I could not imagine life without The Hubs after only 8 years, so the thought of having him for 57 and then him being gone just squeezes the breath out of me! I'll be saying a prayer for her and for all of you. I'm glad the funeral was as beautiful as you described.

Trisha said...

What a sweet post. I've lost both of my paternal grandparents and it is hard. Those memories though will live on in you forever and there will be things you'll remember later on that you'll be able to share with your family. Many prayers for you all!

ventingvagina said...

i'm so sorry for your loss, but happy that you were able to spend time with family reliving the wonderful moments of life with your grandpa. hugs!

Jennifer said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. Good bye is never easy even when someone is sick. I'll be praying for all of you and especially your grandmother. ((HUGS))

cowgirltn said...

Grandparents are so special. I can just picture your grandma holding his hand.

With sympathy on your loss.