Nerves

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

After surviving Saturday's egg-decorating class (complete with 8 other moms, 1 early-20's girl, and 1 8.5 months pregnant woman) without really any feelings of self-pity, and having an otherwise really nice weekend, yesterday and today have been a relative mess.

Yesterday was just 100% a hectic, when-is-this-day-going-to-be-over day. Super busy morning at work, super busy afternoon at volunteering, half an hour late for acupuncture, and getting home an hour and a half later than normal on Monday's, it's no wonder I had a headache last night. But, since starting 300iu of follistim on Saturday and still loving acupuncture, I had high hopes that my bloodwork today would be awesome.

Which brings me to today. I went and did the bloodwork this morning, and then ran some errands (bought a strawberry plant to go with our raspberry and blackberry bushes!), then happily planted some more seeds inside (zucchini, peppers, basil, lavender, and oregano), and was about to start another pair of whole wheat loaves, when my nurse called to give me the results of my estradiol level.....

....which was 27 instead of "close to 100" like they were expecting/wanting it to be.

What is the word for when the air gets knocked out of your chest?

I really can't believe it. I can't remember if I've ever had bloodwork 3 days after starting follistim, so I don't know if they have anything to compare that to in my history. Maybe I'm just a slow starter. But I am really battling hard to not feel defeated already. And I do mean battling. It is all I can do to hang on to the faith that if God has plans to bring us a baby through this, He will bring everything to pass in His perfect order and time.

I mean, I have had 3 nice looking follicles on 250iu of follistim in past cycles, so I thought I could be secure that I'll have at least that many this time, right? (By the way, my RE is upping my follistim dose to 350iu...) I guess nothing is ever for sure! I have an ultrasound on Thursday, and I'm just praying that my follies have a growth spurt by then... Is anyone out there a slow starter like me??

Meanwhile, I've been searching for foods that contain natural estrogen, and I'm pleased to see that beans and wheat and some of our favorite veggies are on the list. Guess I will eat a loaf of bread for dinner! Ha!! But, will anyone mind if I run out to get myself my own bag of sunflower seeds?

My nerves are begging for attention, and I really don't want to give in to them.

26 comments:

Katie said...

I'm so sorry about the blood work results. I don't know much about estradiol levels, so I can't be much help. But that's great that you've found foods that contain natural estrogen. Hang in there, A. I hope the next round of blood work comes back with better numbers. xx

WantWait&Pray said...

I just wanted to share with you that for my 2nd IVF cycle, my e2 level was only 39 after 4 days of stims. They upped my dosage of stims and I responded well and retrieved 18 eggs (I think...16 were mature).
So....I'm praying for you but try not to worry. Lots of time still and it's a balancing act of finding the right dosage. :-)
PS- this cycle was in May 2009 if you want to look at my old posts.

Al said...

I was thinking of you today as the nurse was going through my IVF protocol and hoping that things were going smoothly with your cycle. I'm sorry things aren't going as quickly as they/you want them to, but they can (and have) tweaked your meds so you will get there! Hope the next monitoring appointment gives you some great numbers and you'll be back on track.

My thoughts & prayers are with u!

Lisa said...

booooo...praying that the increased dosage will help!!! God is in control, God is in control, God is in control...

Becky said...

Try not to worry, estradiol levels often start out low (and slow) and then jump up rather rapidly. That happened with both my IVF cycles (sorry I don't remember my exact numbers). Just remember, nothing can thwart God's plan for your family. He is able to do immeasurably more than you can ask or imagine. He will see you through this time. I am so hopeful that you will be announcing a BFP very soon! You are in my prayers. ((HUGS))

Melissa said...

I'm sorry about the news :( I'm praying the up in dosage does the job. Praying for you & more follies on Thursday!

p.s. Don't give those nerves any attention! I know, better said than done.

Jessica said...

I'm sorry your E2 isn't as high as you had hoped...how frustrating. I hope the upped dosage does the trick. I will be thinking of you during your ultrasound on thursday.

Hang in there!!

Emily said...

Having a low E2 is great! It just means you have more room to increase your dosage and stimulate more follies. Trust me...it's better than the reverse situation (high E2 and no follies). I was just BARELY above where you were at 3 days of stimming and got tons of follies. Don't let the numbers bog you down! It's still so early in your cycle. There is plenty of room to adjust your dosage and find the "magical dose!"

suchagoodegg said...

Oh man, I know that air-knocked-out-of-you feeling. Your RE is going to kick those ovaries into high gear with the higher Follistim dose. I am so hoping Thursday brings you awesome news and a great response.

PS I'm also hoping my E2 rises by tomorrow, if it doesn't, I'm out! Thanks for mentioning the loaves and beans...I think I know what's for dinner tonight. :)

lowfatlady said...

I'm sorry your estrogen is so low. Luckily your only a few days into your cycle and have plenty of time for it to rise. I hope that the extra high dose of follistim will do the trick.

Ann - Building a Nest said...

I'm a slow starter and have had farily low E2 after just a few days of meds. The doctor upped my dosage and I did respond. I'm sorry the results weren't what you hoped, but there is still a long way to go and you have always responded to this medicine in the past. It may just take a while.

Nixy said...

I have my fingers crossed for you that the E2 ramps up for you soon.

Also, Soy has a ton of phytoestrogens (plant estrogens). It's a really easy way to get some, because you can practically get soy/tofu anything these days.

Hillary said...

I know that battle well! It's amazing how you just dive in head first in an IVF cycle and feel like you can barely come up for air.

BUT I have read so many times that somew people just start off slower - especially after being suppressed (which you weren't for your IUI cycles). Your ovaries just need a little more time to wake up, but I'm sure you'll get a great amount of eggs.

Please know I am praying like crazy for you, M!!

Dear Diary said...

I'm sorry about today, but there's still hope!! I really hope that the new dosage helps a lot!

AplusB said...

Sorry these results have added stress...from what the other commenters have said, I'm sure it's fine and your follies and E2 levels will increase with time. Hang in there! Thinking about you!

Jennifer said...

So sorry about the blood work results. Hopefully the incresed follistim will help.

I want a strawberry plant. My husband has several raised beds in the back for his garden, but they are all veggies. I guess I need to do the fruit.

Rachel said...

Praying for your bloodwork and thank you for your sweet comments on my blog. Keep us posted!

Noelle said...

I am sorry! I will pray that your nerves don't win.

God can do anything.

BelowAverageAthlete said...

Ugh! I am praying that the increased follistim produces some great follies! I know it is hard, but it is a marathon and you have the stregnth and courage to do it. God is right there with you.

The Wife said...

I'm sorry the results weren't what you all hoped for. I never had the E2 numbers they wanted. It can be so frustrating but remember that we're all here for you!

ventingvagina said...

awe, you're doing everything right. a positive side to this situation is that maybe this has been the issue all along. maybe it's now finally coming to light and they can alter your meds to get your estrogen up. hang in there, a. i've got everything crossed for you. this is gonna work! xo.

Basic Girl said...

I know how nerve-wracking each step of this process is. But its still so early, and I've definitely read blogs that were slow starters, but finished strong! I think I've also read that slower growing follies are best, slow and steady finished the race!! So I'm hoping you get some relief at your next monitoring appt that your follies are picking up the pace a bit with that increased dosage, just hang in there. Here for you!!!

callmemama said...

I'm sorry about the low levels :(. Hopefully things will improve by your next blood draw!

Hollytraveling said...

I'm so sorry. I have no advice to give, but wishing you the best and hoping for good news.

Hannah said...

Hugs & prayers! I'll be praying for both of us to hang on to our faiths through this and trust for God's perfect timing. You've been such an encouragement to me.
HUGS!

Leah said...

Sorry about the bloodwork. The good thing is that they do the bloodwork so early because it's easy for them to simply adjust your dose. I have a feeling your next numbers will be much better.

Sorry about your difficult day. Thinking of you.