Tease

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Hate the 16dpo (just had to count) BFN. Gah. Looks like the progesterone supp's have delayed AF again.

Logically, I should all but given up hope right now. I mean, IV-stinkin-F didn't even work. What in the world would indicate to anyone that we'd be able conceive from here on out.

But that is the thing. The world says that ART is the final frontier, the last hope, and the ultimate baby making/family building practice.

God says different.

My dear friend at Making Me Mom had an amazing quote at the end of her post today, and I'm stealing borrowing it:

(From Radical by D.avid P.latt):

" . . . God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts his people in situations where they come face to face with their need for him. In the process, he powerfully demonstrates his ability to provide everything his people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined. And in the end, he makes much of his own name."

That was the lift I needed tonight. (Thank you, Hillary, for posting it!!!) My hope is in the Lord, not the world. That quote is a reminder that God's ways are not our ways, His plan for us will be awesome and not a day late, and that He will take what little we have and turn it into something beautiful and amazing.

Admittedly, I feel kind of raw right now, especially when there are so many exciting things (i.e. pregnancies) happening to so many of my bloggy buddies. But just because I'm feeling raw today doesn't mean that I won't heal. Just that I need to be gentle with myself and rest, surrounded by the blessings that I have been given. I always like to picture myself crumpled in God's huge hands at times like this. It's very comforting to know that no matter how weak I feel, He will hold me up.

(PS. I am loving our grocery discussion (below)- more opinions welcome! I'm going to do a follow-up post soon!)

14 comments:

Trisha said...

Wow, I didn't even know! I'm really sorry; those negatives never get any easier. Just remember ALL things are possible with God! Keep your head up! Many prayers for you.

Lisa said...

Wow - I really like that quote! Thanks for passing it on!!

Amanda said...

I love what you said about imagining you are crumpled up in God's hands...That made my heart warm!!

the misfit said...

I love that image. And I'm so sorry about the BFN/AF. Have you adopted the policy of treating yourself to something fun every time AF shows up? I think I need to institute that policy formally around here.

Hillary said...

So sorry for the BFN, sweet friend. I know that raw feeling (I haven't been able to shake it since my last BFN...), and am so glad that quote encouraged you today. I love how God does that...shows something to one my internet friends, it is passed on to me and encourages me, and then it encourages you...

BTW, I'm sorry I've been such a terrible commenter. I have been in such a blogging funk these days. But I am praying for you and thinking of you often, and am hoping my days of bed rest here will help jump start me back into commenting!

Surely said...

It seems like when you're at the last straw and at the point of giving up, God gives the strength and hope to go on. =) We really are in God's hands!

Jane said...

I'm looking forward to your grocery follow up post!

And so sorry about your BFN. You are right that it's in God's hands and you just have to trust in Him. I know it's hard, though. Stay strong!

Praying for Hope said...

IVF isn't the last frontier, although it feels like it. I always hate to start a statement with "I know someone," but . . . . I know someone who had three IVFs, all of which failed. She was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve and told going the donor egg route would be her best option. While searching for a donor, she became pregnant. She now has a 4 month old son. All of this happened when she was 39. Just when you think miracles don't happen . . . .

Jessica said...

Sorry aboout the BFN...it never gets easiser to deal with. Hang in there!!

T said...

I am so sorry for the BFN! You sound so strong and brave. I believe that God has some great things in store for you. You can certainly see him shining through you.

suchagoodegg said...

I didn't even know you were late....it hurts, I know. You have an awesome outlook and I love your energy. Hang tough my friend!

Jennifer said...

Just catching up with your blog. I've been so bad at reading blogs the last month. Summer vacation has me in a blog funk. Anyway...enough about me. I am so sorry for you BPN. That just stinks! It never gets any easier that's for sure.

Love the quote. Thanks for sharing it.

The Wife said...

I'm sorry for the BFN. It's so annoying. Don't give up hope! God has his ultimate plan which sometimes takes years to unfold (or even a lifetime!). I'm praying for you and Mr A. BTW, the word verification is "blest." That has to be a sign

Grace said...

I'm sorry about the BFN..been here so many times and I totally understand how you feel.
I love that post. In our weakness, His strength is made perfect.
Will be praying for you and I'm convinced God will prove His faithfulness.
Lots of love