Thanks! And more...

Wow, what humbling comments on my last post about the pregnancy center. You are awesome, and I am so glad that the simple things I was reflecting on encouraged or uplifted you!! Your thoughts inspired me to write a little more about it...

Several wrote that you thought it'd be hard to volunteer there while trying and praying (and begging!) to conceive. Way back in February when I was considering signing up for the training class at this non-denominational Christian pregnancy center, this was my biggest concern, too. I prayed alot about this fear of mine and really tried to discern where God was calling me to minister. After a couple days of praying, I got the sense that I should enroll in the training classes and that God would see me through, despite my fears. Even among the trainees and current volunteers (about 35 people total), I was THE.ONLY.ONE without kids and that stung the night I realized that. As I went through the training, I kept being astonished that God would be calling me to be His face to women coming to the pregnancy center. If it were up to only me, I doubt I could do it. But it's not only me. And God's ways are not my ways. Bonus!!!

God's ways include calling me to be an open vessel for His love, mercy, and compassion to be poured out to the women/girls who come to the center, even as I am on my knees praying that He would have mercy on my empty womb. Before each shift, the counselors gather together and we pray aloud. I pray that I will get out of my own way to let Jesus' message shine through. I pray that my words will be God's words and that whatever God has prepared the client to hear is what will comfort her. (And I pray silently after my turn is up that God will remove the chains of my IF while I am with a client...) And not that I am any angel, but as long as I let God do the talking, it is pretty painless for me. I haven't cried once, and usually on the way home, I instead find myself praying for whoever I saw that day, that the struggles they face will be lifted and washed away by our Lord, rather than being jealous. And that my friends, is ALL God. He has certainly sustained me when I would have certainly fallen on my own.

The fact that He gives me strength and words during my hours at the center is never as needed as when I'm counseling a client who's gone through abo.rtion(s) or who is considering one. A while back I had a client who'd had 5 abo.rtions, but was not considering that choice for her current pregnancy (praise God), and all I wanted to do was convey to her the healing mercy that Jesus offers. Of course on my own, I would have been simply speechless, angry, and aghast that God would choose to open this girl's womb again!! God speaks to me during these times:

"You can do all things in Me who strenthens you." (Phil 4:13)
"I am a shield for you who take refuge in Me." (Ps 18:30)

Yesterday, I kind of touched on the other way that God has really blessed me through volunteering. It is the recognition that everyone has crosses in this life. And since no cross is exactly alike, there are bound to be people we look at and wish we could have a certain part of their lives...but of course we don't want their crosses, either! The women who come into the center may have become pregnant easily while not even paying attention, but their cross might be being unemployed or unmarried or without safe housing. My friend who has a honeymoon baby was obviously fertile, but her tender new marriage has been put on the back burner while they cope with their new (somewhat unwanted) role as parents. Meanwhile, I have an awesome husband, a stable job, a warm home, and a graceful marriage. But no baby(s). The good thing is that God uses our crosses to bring us around to be more Christ-like. Our struggles are not in vain! For example...

We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we cannot. Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine, after the rain.... Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall; But God's always ready, to answer your call.... He knows every heartache, sees every tear, a word from His lips, can calm every fear... Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night, But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light... The Savior is waiting, somewhere above, to give you His grace, and send you His love. May God fill your day with blessings!! (Taken from an email I received)


I believe that God is using my cross of infertility to help me walk compassionately as a volunteer at the pregnancy center. If I had not been schooled in compassion and selflessness and give-up-your-wants-in-lieu-of-God's-plan over the past 2 years, I doubt I would be a very genuine peer counselor. I pray every day that He will continue to sustain me in my work there, and that He might also allow me to conceive our children soon so that I can teach my kids the magnitude of joy that comes with giving selflessly for only the benefit of others, even when you think it might hurt.

Be blessed today!!!