Thanks! And more...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wow, what humbling comments on my last post about the pregnancy center. You are awesome, and I am so glad that the simple things I was reflecting on encouraged or uplifted you!! Your thoughts inspired me to write a little more about it...

Several wrote that you thought it'd be hard to volunteer there while trying and praying (and begging!) to conceive. Way back in February when I was considering signing up for the training class at this non-denominational Christian pregnancy center, this was my biggest concern, too. I prayed alot about this fear of mine and really tried to discern where God was calling me to minister. After a couple days of praying, I got the sense that I should enroll in the training classes and that God would see me through, despite my fears. Even among the trainees and current volunteers (about 35 people total), I was THE.ONLY.ONE without kids and that stung the night I realized that. As I went through the training, I kept being astonished that God would be calling me to be His face to women coming to the pregnancy center. If it were up to only me, I doubt I could do it. But it's not only me. And God's ways are not my ways. Bonus!!!

God's ways include calling me to be an open vessel for His love, mercy, and compassion to be poured out to the women/girls who come to the center, even as I am on my knees praying that He would have mercy on my empty womb. Before each shift, the counselors gather together and we pray aloud. I pray that I will get out of my own way to let Jesus' message shine through. I pray that my words will be God's words and that whatever God has prepared the client to hear is what will comfort her. (And I pray silently after my turn is up that God will remove the chains of my IF while I am with a client...) And not that I am any angel, but as long as I let God do the talking, it is pretty painless for me. I haven't cried once, and usually on the way home, I instead find myself praying for whoever I saw that day, that the struggles they face will be lifted and washed away by our Lord, rather than being jealous. And that my friends, is ALL God. He has certainly sustained me when I would have certainly fallen on my own.

The fact that He gives me strength and words during my hours at the center is never as needed as when I'm counseling a client who's gone through abo.rtion(s) or who is considering one. A while back I had a client who'd had 5 abo.rtions, but was not considering that choice for her current pregnancy (praise God), and all I wanted to do was convey to her the healing mercy that Jesus offers. Of course on my own, I would have been simply speechless, angry, and aghast that God would choose to open this girl's womb again!! God speaks to me during these times:

"You can do all things in Me who strenthens you." (Phil 4:13)
"I am a shield for you who take refuge in Me." (Ps 18:30)

Yesterday, I kind of touched on the other way that God has really blessed me through volunteering. It is the recognition that everyone has crosses in this life. And since no cross is exactly alike, there are bound to be people we look at and wish we could have a certain part of their lives...but of course we don't want their crosses, either! The women who come into the center may have become pregnant easily while not even paying attention, but their cross might be being unemployed or unmarried or without safe housing. My friend who has a honeymoon baby was obviously fertile, but her tender new marriage has been put on the back burner while they cope with their new (somewhat unwanted) role as parents. Meanwhile, I have an awesome husband, a stable job, a warm home, and a graceful marriage. But no baby(s). The good thing is that God uses our crosses to bring us around to be more Christ-like. Our struggles are not in vain! For example...





We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we cannot. Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine, after the rain.... Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall; But God's always ready, to answer your call.... He knows every heartache, sees every tear, a word from His lips, can calm every fear... Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night, But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light... The Savior is waiting, somewhere above, to give you His grace, and send you His love. May God fill your day with blessings!! (Taken from an email I received)


I believe that God is using my cross of infertility to help me walk compassionately as a volunteer at the pregnancy center. If I had not been schooled in compassion and selflessness and give-up-your-wants-in-lieu-of-God's-plan over the past 2 years, I doubt I would be a very genuine peer counselor. I pray every day that He will continue to sustain me in my work there, and that He might also allow me to conceive our children soon so that I can teach my kids the magnitude of joy that comes with giving selflessly for only the benefit of others, even when you think it might hurt.

Be blessed today!!!

5 comments:

Jen said...

you amaze me! what a great testimony to the Lord! that cartoon speak volumes... thanks so much for sharing.

prayerfuljourney said...

This was such a great post! Very touching to me. Yes, there is a greater good that will come out of our IF crosses. I get a lot of comments about going into teaching and not having any children...one para said to me "Your students will be your children." When she asked about my family. She's right...there's going to be the ignorant who have said or will say very hurtful things. I believe that just comes with carrying this cross or any cross. I'm learning to just let it slide off of me.

Bless your heart for finding strength in your volunteer work. I agree, having babies for some is such a struggle and huge cross. I'm really getting the sense that our culture is changing and more younger (especially teens) women think it's okay to have these struggles and that is just the way it is. THere is no abstaining....none. Around me high schools are more concerned with test scores than teaching these young people about responsibility and giving them hope for a brighter future through education. 700 teen girls got pg last year according to h.s. records! It's a culture norm (by me anyway). I talked to a woman at a pg center near me and she told me that a group of six teen girls came in and all wanted to be tested for pg! She said it's alarming how these girls feel getting pg and having a baby is cool, trendy, everyone is doing it. I don't know. It breaks my heart...why? Here I am no children...and yet others...so easy to have and neglect. There is no answer....I'm positive in my teaching career I will face young parents...and their struggles. Somewhere in me I will have to find compassion. Sorry to babble...It just astounds me as to what is going on in our culture. I try pray about it and let God handle it. I pray for our future. Blessings!

Hillary said...

Another post that blessed me. Thank you for the encouragement!

Stacey said...

Awesome! Thanks for sharing more of the story.

Praying for Hope said...

I like the cross story. It makes you think and appreciate the journey more.