The Family (Infertility) Circus

Thursday, October 28, 2010

{Thank you for all your support yesterday- it is so amazing/comforting to read the comments as you girls post them. Thank you so much!}

I'm not sure if you read the funnies this past Sunday, but Family Circus had a three-part comic titled "It's Apparent You're a Parent". Of course the three little pictures were totally cheesy depictions of idyllic parent/family life.

Of course it made steam come out my ears. Ha!

So I decided I'm going to do a top-10 list of my own that is called "It's Apparent You're NOT a Parent", Halloween edition:

10. No one in your house is "excited" about Halloween- you participate only because you hope that someday neighbors will give your kids free candy. You'd rather turn off all the lights and hide in the bathroom and eat the whole bag of milky way's.
9. It is more fun to roast/eat the pumpkin seeds than to draw the carving design.
8. The costumes you consider buying (before your hubby vetoes the idea) have 4 leg holes and a tail hole.
7. You could care less if the 31st is on a Sunday, or if it is raining or snowing or -20F or 80F.
6. The only thing you do to get ready for trick or treating is dump the candy into a big bowl.
5. To decorate with scary things, you set out pregnancy tests and thermometers and ovulation monitors instead of witches and spiders and zombies.
4. You go by yourself to buy a pumpkin on a random Thursday afternoon.
3. You spend Halloween in your foyer, just the two of you and your dogs (who go crazy every time the doorbell rings), and seeing everyone else's perfect, happy families and kids come and go from your front door
2. You don't email pictures of your dressed-up kids to your entire address book the next day.
1. You have to switch off candy-duty with your husband, not so you can take your kids around to the neighbors, but so you can go change your pad- your period will be here, of course.

I want to hear your suggestions!!!


Thankful said...

You wanted to be the cool neighbor who handed out drinks to the parents, but drank them all yourself and...then decided to do #10.

Ann - Building a Nest said...

I'm not creative enough to add anything, but I LOVE #5! All of them, but 5 is my favorite.

Ashley said...

Love it!

Rach said...

I dream of the day I can go to the pumpkin patch.

Well, I guess I could go now but it wouldn't be the same.

AL said...

Loved these!!

Esp #5!!

Anonymous said...

I love your top 10!
The last 3 or 4 years were tough (before that we were in Korea and they don't really do Halloween, they have a fall holiday that is kind of like our Thanksgiving or Christmas). I remember two years ago being angry that we were expected to have candy for other people's kids and we had to see all these little cuties in their costumes on our front porch all night :(. Last year we went to our friends' house and they handed out the candy. This year, although I don't plan on participating in the neighborhood trick or treat, I am trying to enjoy some fun of the holiday DESPITE not having kids by having some friends over and doing the pumpkin carving, etc. I feel like infertility has robbed me of fun for too many years and this year I am fighting back.

Anonymous said...

Haha I love this! :) I totally turned out all the lights last year and eat almost all the candy by myself. :)

Lisa said...

ha ha! Those are funny...and not funny all at the same time...

the misfit said...


And I used to love carving pumpkins, but even though I bought one, I haven't gotten around to carving it. And I've been craving chocolate like a fiend all day. I have 36 ounces of mini candy bars at home...what's the likelihood that they'll make it to Sunday?

Coco said...

Bwahahah! I LOVED #5!!! :)

brigittemarie said...

Teee heeeee! Do the pups have costumes? I would like to see pics of them :)

Ashley said...

i think you need to submit this to
this is awesome :)

Kristin (kekis) said...

Favorite.Post.EVER. :)