Good morning

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I met up with my friend for coffee this morning, before we each were picking up our turkeys at the mennonite farm. Mine is TWENTY SEVEN pounds. Holy leftovers!!!

It was really nice to just sit and talk with her. Her younger two children were at preschool, and her older three were at home working on homework (they homeschool). So it was just the two of us, and we talked about all kinds of things. I finally feel like I have made a friend here who I can talk about anything with!

Including if I know when I'm ovulating.

And when I said, yah, I can mostly tell based on my body's signals, she told me that she's not sure if she is ovulating or not.

Um.

You guessed it! They are trying for #6!

And, while you may think I would have spit out my coffee chai tea latte and walked home, I am remarkably peaceful about them trying, knowing that they will probably have success before we do. Maybe it's because I know that they totally consider all their kids to be precious gifts on-loan from God. That makes a huge difference to me with how I can relate to you as a mom. If you are the type to parade "your" kids around just because you can, I would not be so excited and supportive if you were trying for #6.

She is 9 years older than me, but thanks to this crazy train, I know alot about (in)fertility, and I think it was nice for her to talk to someone who knows something about it. I even gave her such meaningless advice such as pumpkin is good for implantation!! HA!! Haven't we all tried that??

She and her husband lost a baby at 10weeks in February (I had no idea), and ever since then they have been trying to no avail. She just started temping and is just getting the hang of it again. She thought she was pregnant last month, but after several negative tests, she got her period days later. I told her that I knew the disappointment of that, and that anyone who wants to be pregnant and isn't feels the same hurt.

What she said next is the reason why I think she is going to become a dear friend.

She said "I could never compare my disappointment to yours, because I have my other children around me to support me when I'm disappointed."

I mean, I felt so much compassion and sensitivity when she said that. And despite her saying that, I still maintain what I say- the hurt is all the same.

Of course we discussed the obligatory wouldn't-it-be-great-if-God-allowed-us-to-be-pregnant-at-the-same-time, and you know what, a miracle of that type would be welcomed with open arms. I'm not expecting it, but that is the point of a miracle, isn't it?

I told her that one time when I arrived at church early, I found myself in prayer and overwhelmed by the notion that I will be standing in that church carrying our child one day. I sure hope and pray that day is soon. I told her that I'm worried that feeling was fake, but she said it sounds like the devil trying to cause me to doubt what she thinks was genuine encouragement from the Spirit.

Join me in praying for my dear friend, for her baby in heaven, and that we might both be blessed soon.

6 comments:

Coco said...

I am SO glad that you have a friend like that! So wonderful. Yeah, I don't have a problem with people who have children... who love and take care of them the way I feel is appropriate. :) Will add her to the prayer list. Haha.

I ABSOLUTELY believe that what you felt in church was real. 100%. And I can't WAIT for that day for you! It would be so great to have both of you get pregnant at the same time! How fun would it be to have a preg-buddy! Yay!

I'm CD46 or 47... can't remember. Still no ovulation, no BFP, no AFV. But I still think I'm pregnant. Haha. And my sister just got word from her adoption agency that she "should" be getting a referral by Christmas! Wahoo! Hoping for AMAZING MIRACLES this Christmas season! :)

the misfit said...

No, I have not tried that, actually. What does one do with the pumpkin, exactly...?

It's funny how some of the people who are genuinely comforting in this whole mess are not the ones you might expect at all...I mean, I expect it to be other infertiles, and sometimes it's people with piles of kids :).

Coco said...

Okay, and here's a totally self indulgent comment... with all that left over turkey... Go and get some asiago cheese bagels, cut to make sandwiches. Mix 3/4 can of whole berry cranberry sauce to 1 pkg softened cream cheese. Spread the spread on it, and mustard if you want. Make a turkey sandwich with leftovers, and provolone/gouda cheese, lettuce, onion, tomato, etc. MMMMMMM. It's a tradition in my house and I LOVE IT so much I'd almost eat it in place of traditional Thanksgiving dinner. We always get a GIANT turkey just to make these sandwiches. :)

JC said...

I'm glad you had a great morning w/ your friend. She sounds like a good one, and a real caring and supportive person. That's nice that you can talk to her about things. =)

hollytraveling said...

I'm so happy you had such a good time with your friend. She does indeed sound so compassionate, and I agree, like a very dear friend in the making. And you're right, the hurt is the same. I certainly never though someone trying for #6 could identify but it seems she can. Really hope you get that miracle.

Trisha said...

First, who are you cooking for? Y'all are going to be eating turkey for days :) I'm glad you have that connection with someone you can share with. I'm a little late in posting but I'm also sorry about your church experience this past week. Sometimes it just never ceases to amaze me with what people say or do. Praying for you!