Security Blanket

Monday, March 21, 2011

It might be It is time for me to drop my security blanket. My progesterone supplements, that is.

My RE originally told me I could stop them at 10w, but I just couldn't. So starting today, I'm going to wean myself off. I had been doing two supp's per day, and for the next week, I will just do one. Jury is out on whether I will then go to every other day for a week, and then every 3 days, and then.... HA.

I sort of want to ask my midwife on Friday if I can have my progesterone checked, but I am not sure if she will agree that it's necessary, i.e. if insurance will pay for it. It's emotionally difficult to drop the supplements, although I know that "everyone" drops them around the 12w mark with no massive problems.

It goes along with the theme that PAI women realize quickly and surprisingly that even though infertility is filled with tests and medicines and strategies and plans and checkups, those at least provided security during infertility.

Or, at least in my case on a number of failure occasions (e.g., especially, my cancelled IVF, and my subsequent failed IVF), they made me feel awful and torn and alone and scared, but I still had some result or some dosage that told us what was next on the list and that we were still going after this infertility monster.

So, even though my infertility security blanket often brought insecurity, at least it was there.

And perhaps instead of tests and med dosages for a blanket, I now have nausea and tiredness and maybe the very beginning of a little baby bump, but those are so subjective, and you know how scared infertile people are of reading too much into symptoms.

At least for a thankfully low-risk pregnancy so far, my PAI security blanket has been thin but has brought only contentment and rest and reassurance. I go for my 2nd midwife appointment on Friday, where we will be praying to hear our little one's heartbeat using doppler.

Hoping and praying that our blanket continues to gain strength and warmth and goodness with each appointment and that our little one will be here happy and healthy in October.

9 comments:

Jessica R said...

I was terrified to drop the progesterone supplements as well. My OB told me that I could stop them at 12 weeks, but I still took 2/day through 13 weeks, then 1/day through 14 weeks. Do what makes you comfortable!

Coco said...

Prayers for you and little baby. I hope that your new blanket gets warm and snuggly soft soon. Not too long until you can feel kicking! Then you can just drink some OJ anytime you're worried, give the baby a little sugar buzz and it will start dancing in your belly! *hugs* Hang in there and good luck on Friday!

AL said...

I was really nervous about dropping the progesterone supplements too - but I really think you're safe at 10 weeks. The placenta has taken over by now. I stopped at 9 weeks with this pregnancy and all was well.

Hoping for another great appointment for you this week!

Angie said...

Congratulations on this milestone!! I just went throught this 2 weeks ago. My doctor also told me that I could stop at 12 weeks, and didn't mention tapering off of them. I still weaned myself from 2 a day to 1 a day for a few days. Whatever you need to do to have a little peace of mind is probably a good thing. I was definately aware of every little twinge and looking for anything different after stopping prog., but thankfully I didn't have any problems. I think it is especially hard to trust that our bodies will do what they are supposed to do after struggling with infertility.

Mommy-In-Waiting said...

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable! I hope your next ultraound goes well. Wishing you all the best!

Trisha said...

Praying with you!

Baby Hopes said...

Thinking of and praying for you. I broke down and called my RE today to beg for progesterone. They said it's not necessary but also that it can't hurt (as of now)... I can see how it would quickly become a blanket!

Melissa said...

I say, do whatever you feel most comfortable with.

And why not ask your midwife. No harm done right?

Thinking and praying for you!

callmemama said...

I'm in the "do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable" crowd. Whatever makes you feel most at ease!

Plus, there's no harm in asking for progesterone levels to be tested!