Ouch

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

"But for the child-free, the benefits go beyond dollars and cents. There's less guilt, less worry, less responsibility, more sleep, more free time, more disposable income, no awkward conversations about Teen Mom, no forced relationships with people just because your kids like their kids, no chauffeuring other people's kids in your minivan to soccer games you find less appealing than televised chess."

Read the whole article here on yahoo today. Hard to fathom that couples willingly make the choice to remain childless- based on such materialistic ideals so that they won't be bothered with difficult conversations or lack of fancy vacations- while there is an entire portion of the population who willingly spend the amount of an extravagant vacation for even a chance at conceiving a precious child, or way more than an extravagant vacation for a chance to adopt their child.

This article just hurts to read.

(For what it's worth, I do believe in living within your means, and of course raising a child does cost money, but I don't think that's the point of the article at all.)

9 comments:

hollygandco said...

I read that this morning too, and got caught up at the exact same part. It made my heart so sad to think that people saw all those things as benefits, and completely overlooked, or were oblivious to, the joy of being a parent and having a family. Once they are old and grey, I think that they will be sad that they do not have grand-children to visit them, family to help look after them, people to fill their time with. Also, the article made such a life sound glamorous, but what happens when they hit hard times and can't live the life they want to anyway? When they can't have the retirement at the golf and country clubs, and so on? It just doesn't make sense to me, and it makes me feel so sad that they could be so blind.

the misfit said...

The article obviously hails from a system of values with which I don't agree. BUT, I think there are some people who are poorly equipped to be parents. Some because they are too selfish and their personal values have nothing to do with sacrificing for their children, and some because they are otherwise not suited to the role. I know marriage requires us to be open to life, and I think there has to be room made for that, but there are some people who I think would be well-advised to prioritize other (objectively less important) goals above parenthood, for the sake of all parties involved. So...maybe we can hope that those groups substantially overlap?

Coco said...

Oye. That stings. But on the bright side... if someone is selfish enough to take that bilk seriously, then they probably wouldn't make good parents anyway. The only thing that makes me more sad than others willingly turning down an opportunity to have a baby, is when people decide to have babies who clearly shouldn't and won't take good care of them. *cue bourbon girl.*

Praying for Hope said...

". . . children have gone from being an economic asset to an economic liability." Now that's a lovely sentiment. What's even more depressing are the comments from some of the readers. And why must every article about having children (or not) invite people to comment about the over population of the world? Every single time. The more I read of people's coments, the more I believe the the overwhelming majority of society is people by pathetic morons.

Praying for Hope said...

(Sigh) *peopled. I can't proofread.

TeeJay said...

Wow...they completely ignore all the good things that having children can bring to your life. I know there is a certain level of comfort in only having you and your spouse to "worry" about but in the end there is so much more to life than money and *things*. And what about when the couple ages...what do they have then? In my opinion the only thing left will be lonliness. How very sad.

fertilelychallengedblacksheep said...

I don't think this has anything to do with money; I think it's people who just don't want children. Once you have the urge to have a child, you can't stop it. Some people though just don't have that urge, like a close friend of mine. She's willingly chosen to be child-free and often wonders what's wrong with her -- why she doesn't have that urge to have a child. I say nothing. I think it's quite responsible and mature to accept that you don't want children; I'd be more pissed if she get knocked up and really didn't want the baby.

I think Yahoo made the same mistake a lot of media does, they tried to take a complicated subject and boil it down into one neat package. There's a lot more to these people's decisions than just finances; anyone who's wanted a child knows you can't just ignore that feeling no matter how much you have in your bank account.

I also think having a vasectomy at 28 is a really stupid move.

Sarah B said...

I agree with blacksheep. And I applaud those who affirmatively choose to be childless in a society that expects them to have babies. Kids or child-free, you have to give something up. I refuse to turn this into a battle of the lifestyle choices. Live and let live.

myjourneythruinfertility said...

wow- thanks for sharing this. I hate that people try to assuage my pain of infertility by saying things like those in the article- I will be less stressed, have more money and independence. It completely invalidates the experience as well as my deep natural desire to have a child.