Stop Annoying Me (Have some Bourbon)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

For the last 8 weeks or so, I've been taking a prenatal yoga class at a studio in my area. I LOVE IT!!! For the first 4 weeks or so of that time, there was a girl who came to the same class who is about 10 weeks further along than me, and as hard as I tried to be friendly, she never seemed to reciprocate or seem interested in me. It is hard for me, because I'd like to be friends with everyone, but as I've learned the hard way, some people just don't care about being my friend. (However, she talks to our teacher the whole class, which annoys me...)

Then she didn't come for a while, and it was admittedly really nice. The other girls who would come to class are all very friendly and interested and talkative. We had peaceful, quiet, challenging classes, but before and after class we were swapping ideas on where to get maternity workout gear and what our experiences have been so far and how things were going in general.

Well, she was back today, and my impression of her has decreased even further.

At the beginning of the class, our teacher asks us how things are going and if anything in particular is bothering us that we could work on during class. Here is what she had to say:

"Well, this damn kid is moving so much that it is getting annoying! I can't even enjoy a cocktail party anymore without the movement being distracting! I have started drinking some bourbon before I go out just so the baby won't move as much. The worst part is when the baby moves when I lay down to sleep, and my belly is jumping around on the left side!"

Um. I think I literally raised my eyebrows and dropped my jaw and looked away. Did she just say she drinks BOURBON to get her PRECIOUS BABY to STOP MOVING?

Listen missy, I am really sorry that you can't enjoy a stupid cocktail party without feeling the new life within you moving around. And feeling your child squirming around when you are going to bed at night must really delay your sleep by a whole few minutes.

But you have NO idea how many women go to cocktail parties with empty wombs after another cycle has failed. You have NO idea how many women's sleeps are delayed by tears of longing for a child in their belly. And, have you gotten the MEMO that you're not supposed to drink while you're pregnant?

I honestly still can't believe that she complained about this. Fine, if she wants to complain about swollen feet or sciatica or heartburn or whatever, FINE. (I still don't think those are valid in view of the amazing opportunity and blessing that pregnancy is, but whatever.) But I am not going to know what to do if you come in again and complain to me that your child is moving within you.

Because there are women who look forward to the kicks and the squirming as the highlight of their day. I love the days when baby girl is more active, and I get nervous when I haven't felt her as much (like today, really trying not to worry about it...). I can't even fathom complaining that she moves TOO MUCH. It is really beyond my comprehension.

So yoga girl, it's highly uncharacteristic to me to think things like this, but I'm glad you're 35 weeks. I don't know if I can stand more than 5 more weeks of you coming to "my" yoga class!!!

23 comments:

Praying for Hope said...

I'd have killed for that. Kathleen wasn't an active baby. She had her hight movement days, but most of the time, I was praying to feel even one kick. I worried for the bulk of the last 17 weeks of pregnancy because I did't feel her moving as often as I'd have liked. Poor girl. To be able to feel your baby move on a daily basis often enough and activley that you never have the opportunity to worry. Poor, poor beleaguered creature. She suffers so.

Mommy-In-Waiting said...

OMG, I do not think I would have been able to restrain myself after that comment. What an awful person she revealed herself to be. That poor kid! She obviously takes the miracle growing in side her for granted and that is such a shame.

Leah said...

That is really sad. When I was pregnant, EVERY SINGLE KICK AND JAB was a blessing AND a reassurance. My complaint at times was this baby wasn't moving ENOUGH.

I will forevre think it's sad that some people don't appreciate one of the biggest blessings in the world.

TeeJay said...

Did anyone else's jaw drop when she said she drinks bourbon to stop the movement? I'm not sure I would have been able to keep quiet. How ungrateful she seems. I hope she appreciates that little one once it comes out. Good grief.

Becky said...

I am in shock, I cannot believe someone would actually say she drinks bourbon to stop her baby from moving. Does she not know about FAS? It kinda makes you wonder if she has been drinking all along. This is one of the saddest things I have ever heard. I don't think I could have kept my cool.

Anna said...

That girl needs to be slapped good and hard. :(

nurslouisa said...

That's so incredibly fd-up, was she maybe joking? Wow crazy, sorry she is ruining your nice yoga mojo.

Ashley said...

Knowing how my pregnancy hormones were, I most likely would have punched her in the face. What an idiot! I used to stress out when my baby wouldn't move. I'll never understand some people and why they are able to procreate.

fertilelychallengedblacksheep said...

Smacked her. Would've gotten up, nailed her right across the head and sat back down.

Are you effing kidding me? Here I am beating myself up for buying a bag of combos and she's drinking bourbon. She had to have been kidding. Right???

ventingvagina said...

Gasp! First of all, pregnancy is such an amazing gift. I LOVE when they wake me up in the middle of the night. I relish my bouts of heartburn. I will admit, movements are distracting... but in a good way! It's like the baby(ies) is participating in whatever you're doing. I'm sad she doesn't see it that way. Then to try to get the baby drunk so it stays calm?! I have nothing to say, except GASP! I don't like to judge, but I hope that woman is a much better mother when the baby is out of the womb.

hollygandco said...

What really gets me is that, it sounds like the teacher was asking what was ailing everyone in order to know what direction she should gear the yoga towards that day. It was a completely inappropriate response though, because what yoga technique will get the baby to kick less?? It sounds like she's immature, and just likes to hear herself talk and brag.

Also, it seriously makes me wonder what she'll do to quiet her baby once he/she is born, because taking care of a baby is waaaay easier when they're inside of you than outside, and if she's irritated by something so normal (and AMAZING!) as kicking, then how will she react when her baby is screaming at 3am for no particular reason???

Meg said...

They now know that just small amounts of alcohol can cause Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I wish I knew this girl's name so that I could call Children and Family Services and they could begin a file for her. I'm praying for God's protection over that baby.

callmemama said...

hollygandco has a point. What on earth will this woman do when her baby has colic and is screaming for 4 hours straight? If she's annoyed by a couple kicks...I'm scared to know what she'd do to a baby...
What was the yoga teacher's response?

Baby Hopes said...

Seriously burns me beyond words. I have nothing but complete and utter disgust. I don't think I would have been able to keep my cool. But then again, I wouldn't have been in the prenatal yoga class, because some of us dying for those kicks and interruptions to a party that lasts all of a few hours are still waiting for our miracles. Cuts to the quick...

Lady Grey said...

That is such a frustrating story. Oh, makes me so mad! With so many of us praying and longing to one day feel a kick :'(

Ashley said...

I totally agree. It's ridiculous the crap that pregnant women complain about. I am 33 weeks now and couldn't utter one complaint if I had to. I have not personally experienced the heartache of infertility but I have been through it with my closest friend. It changed me... for the better. Thank you for saying what everyone thinks :). I shared this on FB and hope that a couple of people get the message. I think you may need to repost "pregnant women are smug"... love that song and it stays in my head for days every time I hear it.

Ashley said...

PS: is it bad that I wish for her baby to have colic or maybe just a really painful delivery..?

Trisha said...

Wow, just wow! It never ceases to amaze me with what some people let come out of their mouths. I think I may have had to knock her down or something :) I'm glad you're enjoying the class though!

myjourneythruinfertility said...

I agree with fertilitychallengedblack sheep- here I am eating organic, no alcohol, little sugar, basically my whole life in disorder just to be honored with the opportunity to get pregnant!!
I would not have acted ladylike when I heard that comment!

Coco said...

*Speechless* Do you think that her mom drank when she was pregnant? Maybe that's why this lady is stupid enough to say/do something like this? Un.be.lievable. What did the instructor say, or was she as dumbfounded as I am?

the misfit said...

Um. I know several girls who drink - maybe half a glass of wine in an evening now and then - and smoke - just a handful of cigarettes here and there - when they are pregnant. I think smoking is a nasty habit and unjustified at any time (which does not equate with thinking that it should be legislated to death, but that's a whole 'nother topic), but I get that it's an addiction and whatever. And I know that these are women who have had several healthy babies already, and I personally witness that the babies during whose pregnancy the mothers drank (juuuuust a little) are born healthy. But I have to get up and leave the room when I see that first sip of wine - because I can't help thinking about the fact that I know it won't do them any harm, and yet I know so many women who wouldn't so much as take a sip of coffee during their pregnancies, but who miscarry (again and again, in some cases) with nothing they can do to stop it. And healthy mothers - can't be bothered to forego that sip of their favorite wine for another few months, while so many women I know would give up ANYTHING for a healthy baby. It's not right, and it makes me so angry when I think about it, I feel like attacking people, which I'm not supposed to do or whatever.

But even that (which angers me a great deal) is on another PLANET from announcing to a pile of strangers (and someone in a position of pseudo-authority) that you drink during pregnancy...and that it's hard alcohol...and that you do it IN ORDER TO SEDATE your unborn child, that you consume alcohol KNOWING, even INTENDING, that it will be enough of a dose to affect the baby.

I just...I just don't even know.

Miss Mac said...

I don't think yoga is helping this lady get to a place of peace and wonder if it's possible. Unbelievable! Here I am addicted to the fetal doppler and praying for movement... whenever/wherever. I'll never understand comments like that. Ugh!

AL said...

holy sh!t, b!tch is drinking BOURBON!!!?

What the heck is wrong with people?

{Glad all is well with you!}