Thankful for Infertility?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

While I'm Waiting had this great post yesterday, and I thought, "What a great idea! I should try it myself." In turn, I challenge the rest of you, too! Come on... DO IT!!!!

Top 15 Reasons I'm thankful for Infertility

15. I have heard that babies add like a load of laundry per day. Luckily, with infertility, I only have to do 3 loads of clothes on Saturday morning, and a load of towels and sheets during the week!

14. Since there's no baby in the nursery yet, it's one less bedroom I feel guilty about not vacuuming on a regular basis...

13. I believe that God called me to begin volunteering at the pregnancy center using the extreme awareness of the preciousness of life that has been built by infertility. I'm not sure I would have answered/responded to the call to volunteer without the journey He's led me on.

12. Infertility has provided me with a wealth of experience (emotional, physical, spiritual) with dealing with the struggle of infertility, that some say 11% of couples will experience, but with struggle in general. I hope I'll be able to use this experience in the rest of my days to comfort others who are struggling with any hardship, especially infertility.

11. The longer it takes to get pregnant, the more sick leave I can save for maternity leave!! (We don't have paid maternity leave.) Right now, I have almost 14 weeks saved!!!! (Maybe I should save some for the next maternity leave...oh wait... hahahahha!)

10. Infertility has bestowed upon me a sensitivity for all-things-pregnancy that I never would have had without this journey. I used to scoff (not externally) at pregnant women (okay, sometimes I still do) because I assumed that it happened easily for them. Well, genius, if 11% of couples struggle with infertility, there is a good chance that that pregnant lady knows what it's like to try and try and try.... This also extends to rudely asking other couples/girls who are of childbearing age about their reproductive plans- definitely don't do that anymore!

9. I would have never believed it, but infertility has allowed me to begin to repair my relationship with my mom. She has been a wonderful support since I told her last November, and I can't wait to announce to her that she's going to be a Grandma. In other areas, I think it's helped her realize that people might be struggling with something that they're not telling her, so it's best to reign in the invasive questioning...

8. This time before baby has allowed us to become pretty solid financially. Not that money is everything, but I can't imagine how stressful it is to have a new baby and financial worries. I am thankful that Mr. A took great initiative and set up a tight, but doable, budget for our family in January 2009 that has allowed us to save much more this year than in past years.

7. Infertility has forced me to deal with my inclination toward impatience. Impatience while on this journey gets me nowhere. Patience, on the other hand, allows me to take things day-by-day and not worry about peer comparisons or society expectations. Patience, I have learned, lends calm to my situation, and I've tried to let it permeate other areas of my life, too!

6. I have "met" so many new friends on this road! Mr. A cautioned me a while back against believing everything/everyone that presents itself/themselves on the internet because there are people who say they're something they're not. While I totally appreciate his concern for my safety/sanity, I had to tell him that it'd be pretty hard to fake talking about all-things-RE-related. You'd have to be a pretty desperate faker to go into CM patterns! I so appreciate all of the support I've found through blogging and other new friendships :)

5. Infertility has encroached a couple "old friend" relationships, and while I don't wish this struggle on anyone, I am so glad that my old friends and I can support each other through the ups and downs. I never thought that we'd be dealing with this, but it is great to know that our friendship is there in good times and bad!!

4. I have been blessed with a newfound appreciation for compassion to all. Even pregnant women. What?! Ha! Through my experiences with infertility and my volunteer work, I have come to the realization that everyone has a cross. EVERYONE. And so they deserve compassion regarding whatever that cross may be. It was a toughie to universally accept this- pregnant ladies ordering an entire suite of furniture in Po.ttery Bar.n Kid.s wearing Ste.ve Madd.en shoes and carrying a huge Coac.h bag do not seem to portray a cross, do they? ;-)

3. I have a way more deep appreciation for the magnitude of the blessing that children are. I always knew that children were so precious, and of course I would have been thankful for my child if I'd gotten pregnant easily, but the longing for our first child(ren) has intensified that realization inifinitely so. I know there are many Christian women who become pregnant easily, and I'm sure they are grateful for their children, but I think in some instances, the ease by which they become pregnant, and sometimes (regrettably) the child, is taken for granted. It is always a huge miracle, and I for one intend on celebrating that miracle every day. (Remind me, okay? Haha) Morning sickness? Praise God! Backache? How awesome is the Lord's creation! People don't become pregnant just because they want to (or not, as the case may be?)- they become pregnant because God chooses to create a new soul with their participation on His timeline, whether or not it coincides with theirs.

2. Hands down, infertility has blessed our marriage. Bizarro world! We are absolutely a better team (even better than we were before), and we have become closer through these struggles. I think we cherish these times with just the two of us way more than we did at the beginning of our marriage. We see some of our friends who had kids right away, whose marriage is rocky and un-intimate, because instead of being able to focus on their marriage at the beginning, they were clashing over how their life will change/has change because of baby. I am so thankful for our marriage, and I pray daily that God will continue to bless and sustain it. I think it's also given us, as a married couple, that much more excitement about when we'll be able to announce the big news!

1. Infertility has allowed me to deepen my faith and trust in God's plan (not just my own) to take care of us and bless us according to His will, even when the chips are down. I honestly don't think I'd be where I am, spiritually, had it not been for this chapter of my life!!

Whoa. That was tough!!! Now it's your turn!

13 comments:

Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lisa said...

Wow! You thought of some good ones! I might need to add another 15 to mine... :) It is so exciting to see the Lord working in each one of our lives!!

barrenandbelieving said...

I agree with Lisa, you thought of some really deep ones. I am going to keep this in my mind for a good blog post next time I am down. Nothing can lift your spirits like being thankful.

callmemama said...

What a great list!

I am sure if I dug down deep I could come up with things I am thankful for, but I would still feel like giving each on up for a chance to have a child. Except maybe the closer relationship with DH, because our marriage comes first.

I don't know, maybe I'll have to put more thought into it...

Ann - Building a Nest said...

Great list!
I'll add a not-too-serious one.

It has helped me to not be terrified of going to the Dr. I used to be so terrified (think shaking hands) that I skipped my annual checkup for 3 years. Who knew I'd ever get to the point where I could fling my undies off, hop on the table, and carry on a conversation with the Dr. without blinking an eye?

Baby Hungry said...

What a great list. It is always hard to look for the positive in a bad situation, but it is always there. Good job for finding it!

JC said...

Good post! It's true, there are a few good things that have come from this...I'm sure when I'm able to look back on it holding a baby I'll think of way more than right now. =)

Hillary said...

I love this list, A! So beautiful, and I could write many of the same things. I'll have to do this sometime...

the misfit said...

You know, I think your good things aren't so much the product of infertility as of your essential goodness, and your openness to grace. I can list a few, but not most of yours - I think you have approached this with a joy that has made it bear far more fruit than it might have done.

Find joy in every journey said...

Amen! IF has truly made me a better person and child of God. I have learned that His ways are better than my ways and peace has followed.

Leah said...

I like that list. :-D

Praying for Hope said...

You make some excellent points. :)

Becky said...

I love this list and I am going to take up your challenge and do my own.