Turn Around

(First, did you hear that Mic.helle Du.ggar had her 19th baby December 10, three months early by emergency c-section? And that the baby girl weighed 1 lb 9 oz?? WOW. I don't have any specific problem with God blessing them with 19 kids (who am I to question what He does), but I respectfully wonder if her body is growing weary of being pretty constantly pregnant...)

Have you noticed that I haven't posted yet about my 2ww? I have been trying to incorporate my overall dealing-with-infertility strategy of taking the focus off me and trying to see what I can do with this time in my life for others... and so this 2ww, I have also been trying to take the focus off me and post about fun other things. I am secretly keeping track of my symptoms, and I'll be sure to post them when (get it?) we test positive!!

As I was falling asleep last night (after the most awesome sisterly Christmas shopping trip in our tradition's 3-year history) (the kind of shopping day where, when you get home, you only want to look at what you bought and reflect on the great job you did finding great deals on things that will surely bring a smile to people's faces!), I was thinking about how sometimes I feel a little guilty about how I seem to have an easier time with this infertility struggle, without alot of the drastic up's and down's that I read about that others of you are dealing with. I can't tell you how passionately I pray for you when I read that you're having the awful-est of days. It honestly breaks my heart to read your pain- emotional, physical, and spiritual!!

What came into my head last night is how Jesus, who gives us an example of grace while suffering, also gives us another suggestion on how to live our daily lives:

"You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31)

Do you see? This is the verse that popped into my brain as I was trying to think of why I felt so at peace with trying to take the focus off of me and my struggle and instead focus on others and other fun things. Jesus could have said "You shall love yourself as your neighbor", putting the focus on YOU, not others. But instead, His second greatest commandment puts others first. Straight from His mouth, I felt sure that is why this works so well in the search for peace on this bumpy trail.

Christmas is a time when those of us who're fortunate enough to have a roof over our heads and food in the pantry do our best to think of others, so this theme is pretty prevalent in our minds today, regarding giving to others who lack basic things that we take for granted. (That was a tricky sentence. I first wrote "who are not as blessed as we are", but who am I to say that I'm more blessed than they are? Everyone is blessed to play some part in God's plan!)

This Christmas season, try to expand the idea of giving to others and putting others first to your struggle with infertility. Of course it doesn't heal all wounds, especially deep and painful ones, but I bet it will lighten your heart even the smallest bit! I find it especially helpful during prayer time if I have a zillion people to pray for, I have less time for whining about our empty nursery!! I find that, in praying for others before myself, I end up so involved in lifting up their situation that my situation does not seem so helpless anymore. And, if you are not the praying type, maybe keep in mind that things are not always as rosy as they seem: Maybe that 19 year old girl is pregnant, but does she have a loving, supportive place to come home to?

I humbly ask (and thank you) for your prayers for us as we enter week two tomorrow! Praying our dreamed-of miracle is close at hand!!