Turn Around

Saturday, December 12, 2009

(First, did you hear that Mic.helle Du.ggar had her 19th baby December 10, three months early by emergency c-section? And that the baby girl weighed 1 lb 9 oz?? WOW. I don't have any specific problem with God blessing them with 19 kids (who am I to question what He does), but I respectfully wonder if her body is growing weary of being pretty constantly pregnant...)

Have you noticed that I haven't posted yet about my 2ww? I have been trying to incorporate my overall dealing-with-infertility strategy of taking the focus off me and trying to see what I can do with this time in my life for others... and so this 2ww, I have also been trying to take the focus off me and post about fun other things. I am secretly keeping track of my symptoms, and I'll be sure to post them when (get it?) we test positive!!

As I was falling asleep last night (after the most awesome sisterly Christmas shopping trip in our tradition's 3-year history) (the kind of shopping day where, when you get home, you only want to look at what you bought and reflect on the great job you did finding great deals on things that will surely bring a smile to people's faces!), I was thinking about how sometimes I feel a little guilty about how I seem to have an easier time with this infertility struggle, without alot of the drastic up's and down's that I read about that others of you are dealing with. I can't tell you how passionately I pray for you when I read that you're having the awful-est of days. It honestly breaks my heart to read your pain- emotional, physical, and spiritual!!

What came into my head last night is how Jesus, who gives us an example of grace while suffering, also gives us another suggestion on how to live our daily lives:

"You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31)

Do you see? This is the verse that popped into my brain as I was trying to think of why I felt so at peace with trying to take the focus off of me and my struggle and instead focus on others and other fun things. Jesus could have said "You shall love yourself as your neighbor", putting the focus on YOU, not others. But instead, His second greatest commandment puts others first. Straight from His mouth, I felt sure that is why this works so well in the search for peace on this bumpy trail.

Christmas is a time when those of us who're fortunate enough to have a roof over our heads and food in the pantry do our best to think of others, so this theme is pretty prevalent in our minds today, regarding giving to others who lack basic things that we take for granted. (That was a tricky sentence. I first wrote "who are not as blessed as we are", but who am I to say that I'm more blessed than they are? Everyone is blessed to play some part in God's plan!)

This Christmas season, try to expand the idea of giving to others and putting others first to your struggle with infertility. Of course it doesn't heal all wounds, especially deep and painful ones, but I bet it will lighten your heart even the smallest bit! I find it especially helpful during prayer time if I have a zillion people to pray for, I have less time for whining about our empty nursery!! I find that, in praying for others before myself, I end up so involved in lifting up their situation that my situation does not seem so helpless anymore. And, if you are not the praying type, maybe keep in mind that things are not always as rosy as they seem: Maybe that 19 year old girl is pregnant, but does she have a loving, supportive place to come home to?

I humbly ask (and thank you) for your prayers for us as we enter week two tomorrow! Praying our dreamed-of miracle is close at hand!!


Nicole said...

You amaze me with your outlook and attitude! I hope this wait flies by for you, and congrats on the successful shopping trip ;)

Anonymous said...

I love your positive outlook! Saying lots of prayers for a good week two. :)

Al said...

I love your outlook on IF and others...praying that you have a good week two.

Anonymous said...

you have a great attitude this month (and every month!). i hope taking the focus off of you makes the the remaining 1WW fly by and that you get a BFP at the end of it. :)

Jessica said...

You have a great attitude..its admirable!! I hope this next week flies by and ends with a BFP!!

The Wife said...

I had noticed that you weren't posting about your 2ww. I hope it's going well. I felt the same way about not having the crazy emotional swings. Yeah, sometimes I was down and sometimes I was up, but it all felt gradual and nothing too severe. And sometimes that worried me too! I think it's great that during this time, you can keep such a great attitude and be able to think of others so often. I'm still praying for your BFP.

Melissa said...

You are so very right & love your message.
Good luck this week!

Kacey said...

I love reading your blog. We've gone down the same rocky road, and now I have a blog. We're getting ready to do our 1st ivf in Jan.

AplusB said...

A, you are such an inspiration. Your attitude is amazing. I will definitely be thinking of you these next few days! And hope the BFP is soon to arrive!

Leah said...

I love your attitude. :-D

And I'm not one to judge either, but maybe this is God's way of telling Michelle Duggar that enough is enough. 19 kids is A LOT. Maybe her body is tired. Gosh - Mine would be!

Erica said...

Thinking of you every day and checking in often...hugs!