Another Snowy Wknd

Sunday, January 31, 2010

We got more snow yesterday! I think probably 7" or so. I just love our neighborhood under a blanket of snow- it is such a beautiful and peaceful place to take Banana for our walks. The roads are still pretty dicey though- church was cancelled this morning.

250iu of follistim is going well- it is surprising to me how the cartridges don't last as long with the higher dosage (thank you, captain obvious)- my dosage now is twice what I started at in October!! So far, no bruises from the injections this time- not sure how I've managed that!! I think my estrogen level is definitely rising- saw some almost ewcm this morning!! I am just praying that some great follies are growing well and that at least one of those follies will become our little one this time!!!

Here is a question about the trigger- we have always done the trigger shot IM, because that is what it says on the box ("IM only"), even though my nurse said we could do it sub-q anyway. Well when I ordered my meds, they asked which needles I needed, and because my brain temporarily malfunctioned, I told them sub-q. SO, they sent me sub-q needles this time, but since they send 3 sets of needles with each order, I still have some IM needles from days past, so we can still do it IM. But, has anyone heard that one or the other is "better" (sub-q or IM)??

I am hopeful for another great u/s tomorrow. If it's anything like past cycles, I will go back in maybe Wed for a final u/s, with the trigger either Thursday or Friday night. (IUI next Saturday or Sunday morning?) We are praying that God might bless this IUI with success and a happy healthy little one in October...

I have been thinking alot lately about how God uses our circumstances to convey to us which path we are supposed to take. In the paper a few weeks back, there was a Q/A with Billy Gra.ham where he wrote that God uses our circumstances to help us know what to do- when He opens doors to specific choices, we can take that as nudge in that direction. But what I struggle with is that God never said that following His will is going to be easy- leading me to ponder the concept that sometimes following His will might entail lots of closed doors and difficult situations.

This is even more difficult when I think about it relative to infertility. What is the balance between being persistent in the face of failure or doubt, and accepting a negative outcome as an encouragement to move on to something else?

It also brings my mind that when my friend T went through IVF 2 years ago, every single door possible just fell open before them. She was surprisingly accepted into a study which reduced expenses, she responded great to the meds, her husband ended up with relatively good numbers (he had severe MFI), and they got their BFP.... only to miscarry at almost 6w. Prior to getting her beta, she felt so encouraged about how she felt God's hand at every turn during their cycle. How could anyone not agree that with all those opened doors, God was blessing their cycle? And yet, their example shows us that even when God opens doors, it doesn't mean that there won't be hardship. (They still consider going through IVF as part of God's plan for building their family- they feel even the heartache of losing their baby to have been used for some good.)

It's my prayer that God has a "yes" in store for us this cycle or next. But I also pray that we'll have the courage and discernment to know what to do with a "no"- whether to remain persistent on our current path or choose a new one. None of this infertility journey is easy, but nothing about "Take up your cross and follow Me" sound easy either!!

14 comments:

Katie said...

So glad the follistim is going well. I'll keep my fingers crossed for a good looking u/s tomorrow. Be careful driving in that snow.

AplusB said...

Good luck at the appointment tomorrow - hoping for lots of good follies!!

Ashley said...

I heard this story today and thought of it as I read your post today- Helen Roseveare (a medical MD in Africa), after a very difficult situation, felt God prodding her with the following "Can you thank Me for trusting you with this experience even if I never tell you why?" WOW!We just have to remember "God's ways are higher than our ways."

Giving Up A Dream said...

I did my triggers sub-q around my belly button. Yeah ya got to love how quick the follistim goes. I don't know how your insurance works or if this is covered by insurance. Mine though they would give me a perscription for 2700 iu of follistim and I only had a $50.00 co pay for all three viles. Does that make sense?

Good luck at your ultrasound.

SuzeG said...

Great to hear that all is going so well with the new dosage! I think the SQ vs. IM depends on what form of HCG you take for your trigger. I take human HCG and it's always IM. If it's a recombinant form (synthetic) like Ovidrel, I think you can do it either way.

BTW, do they check your serum LH on trigger day (or have you do OPK at home)? We found out that I was LH surging on my own and our first two IUI were actually done one day too late. Once they started monitoring me more closely, our last two IUI have been better timed. I now get my serum LH tested on the day they want me to trigger and usually find that my LH is already surging, and then have the trigger that night and the IUI the next morning (instead of the typical 36 hours). If you O'd OK on your own before IF treatments, you might want to ask them to follow you more closely.

Keeping you in my prayers!

Shanny said...

Glad the injections are going well, I still have major bruises going on from mine. Anyway, I did my HCG sub-q even though it said IM, the nurses assured me it was fine, and I guess it was cause retrieval went well. I think it will be just as fine your IUI, GL!

Becky said...

Glad things are going well this cycle. I took my Ovidrel sub-q and it worked great (never took it IM so no comparison to offer).

Your friend T's story could be my story exactly, except I was 10 weeks when I had the m/c. What I can tell you from my own experience as far as whether to persist in the face of a "no" is that you will know when it is time to stop. I have heard others say the same thing. If it comes to that, you and Mr. A will get to the point where you both just know you are done with fertility treatments.

I am praying with you that God has a "yes" in store for you this cycle.

One Who Understands said...

I really hope this IUI is the one for you too! Hope your appointment goes great tomorrow.

callmemama said...

Hope the u/s goes well today! Good luck this cycle!

Jane said...

Good luck on your u/s! I'm hoping you've got a few nice sized follies in there!

Oh, and I've nominated you for a blog award!

Leah said...

I also remember how quickly the meds went on a high dose of follistim. I was getting a new cartridge daily. It was crazy!

I've done the trigger shot both IM and SubQ. IM was better for me. SubQ didn't work. Read my blog post titled Part of my Story. . . Part 2. The SubQ didn't fully mature my eggs. That's just my experience.

Praying for Hope said...

I hope you get your yes. I can't help with the follistim question never having had the opportunity to use it.

Basic Girl said...

Hope the ultrasound went great today, and you are well on your way this cycle!! Good luck!

Hillary said...

Your reflections of how God guides us are so pertinent to me...I have been wondering similar things. Thanks for sharing :)