Friday!!

What, only two of you think I'm not a loon for my probably-too-excitedly following of a pair of 20 year old's (about) as my new favorite celebrities? Ha!

Don't really feel like I have alot to say or report- follistim shots are going well! AND, my cartridge was overfilled by 150iu (I goog.led it on Wednesday because I was worried I did something wrong!!), but apparently it is not unusual for them to be overfilled. Whew! But that meant that I had to change the cartridge mid-dosage last night- luckily I got it changed and finished the rest of the dosage with the new cartridge. I go back for bloodwork and an u/s on Monday morning. Hopefully it'll show good progress!!

A friend of my sister's just found out she is expecting #2. She has PCOS, and they tried for a really long time for their daughter (born last August, thanks to clomid), and she decided to try accupuncture (no clomid- she had terrible s/e's) to try for #2 and enrolled in a university study. Well, she has been getting accupuncture for about 6 weeks, and it looks like it helped!! She is really surprised, but obviously thankful. She is about 2 years younger than me, but she has been a great support to me!! She emailed me on Tuesday to let me know her big news, and since I started Monday, I wondered if it would cause me to be somber as I thought about it more....but I felt called to "rejoice with those who rejoice"!!! (Rom 12:15) Perhaps God wants me to be encouraged by His newest baby creation...

And speaking of good ol' God, I am still working on that faith post. But I read something over at Think (+) Positive that really struck me last week:

"A dear friend of mine reminded me that in the Bible, it's documented that every single woman that prayed for a child received one. Every single one of them. It may not have been in their time, but it was in God's time, and I really do believe that if God gives you the desire to be a mother, He will indeed fulfill that desire, someway, somehow.

How could I believe all this and not be hopeful? How could I trust that God is in control and not praise Him for all He's given me, and all He'll continue to give to me in the future?"

Isn't that a neat thing to reflect on? We have many examples of women who have been in our shoes, and all of them received the blessing of motherhood after much heartache. Let's not falter in our praying for our kiddos!!! And although I laughingly agree with Sew's observation that we don't all have 80 years of fertility to play with like Sarah did (Ha! I am cracking up as I read that post of hers again!), we can take heart that God has lovingly provided encouragement for our journey!!!

Bonkers!!

I think I am going to drive myself crazy. I love love love DWTS, and my favorite couple this season was Lo.uie V.ito and Chels.ie Highto.wer. They are so freakin' cute! Sure, he's not the best dancer, but he tries so hard and they are so fun to watch! Ha! I was so bummed that they got voted off last night, and now I am going banana's to see if the rumors that they're dating are true. I so want them to be dating!! Ha!!!

I am cracking myself up! I'm not usually a celebrity gossip junkie, but I can't get enough about these two! Someone block goo.gle!!!

U/S- Follistim #2

Had my baseline u/s this afternoon, and all quiet on the southern front (get it? ha!). I consider myself amazingly blessed at this result, since Making Me Mom did not get such good news yesterday. Please pray for her as she is at this crossroads in her journey!! My left ovary is almost exactly half the size of my right one, and my RE increased my dosage to 150iu per day (will start injections tomorrow) to try to get it to wake up and cooperate!

I just can't say enough how thankful I am for a good ultrasound today. One day, one prayer at a time-

I wrote an entire long post about faith/trust this morning, since I was so incredibly humbled at some of your comments yesterday about my faith and outlook on things. I can't claim to be anything than an imperfect daughter of God who has been blessed with a great gift of faith, but I am so glad that my sentiments inspire and uplift you! I'm going to edit the post I wrote so maybe it will uplift you some more ;-)

I'll leave you with this thought that's on the fridge at our pregnancy center: "A day hemmed in prayer rarely unravels."

BFCD1

Mmmm, hazelnut coffee....

Yep, bright CD1 bright and early today. Time to order follistim refills, I guess!

I thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. Please accept my apology for thinking a new symptom in the 2ww could mean anything but my cycle's twisted sense of humor and attempt to shake things up for "fun". I really wish that I could leave myself alone during the 2ww- I am beginning to loathe those 14 days. I hate feeling things during the 2ww- I wish I was numb to whatever is (not) happening down there because whether it feels like AF or not, there is nothing I can do about it, and it is impossible to be such a helpless bystander to my own body.

I am bummed of course and praying, at the moment, that my baseline u/s (tomorrow?) will look good so we can do another cycle before Thanksgiving. I also continue to gush prayers about begging to see at least a small part of God's plan for our family. What am I supposed to be doing, Lord?

13dpo

Thank you, everyone, for praying for me and our possible little one(s)!! I truly appreciate it :)

I already know that there is only a 2% chance I'll have the guts to test tomorrow. Sure, it'll be 14dpo. But when I test, I want it to be like, blam, there's the fat second line! Not like, where I have to dissect the test container and put it under an electron microscope with level 37 contrast and exacting light conditions and still squint my eyes and tilt my head 46 degrees to maybe see a hint of maybe a line ;-) So, even though I know it's killing you early testing crazy people (meant with lots of love, of course), I'll probably wait till Monday.

I was not quite as tired this morning, and in the interest of full disclosure, yesterday afternoon I felt in such a fog (sort of like how you feel when you just woke up from a nap) that I think I had a very mild baseline headache, like white noise almost- I could barely feel it, but it was just there off and on for alot of the day. Ah, shoot. But, to be fair, it was not one single thing like my normal 2ww headache which comes on in an afternoon and gets progressively worse until I have to put a washcloth over my face after dinner and squeeze my eyes shut until I fall asleep. So headache, yes (frown), but not the normal one. If I could compare it anything, it is actually like the really mild barely-there headaches that I get sometimes before/during ovulation. At this statememt, my heart wants to take the opportunity to suggest that maybe progesterone is increasing now just like it does around ovulation....

I am not having so many sharp cramp-type things, but I have way more bb tenderness/soreness/heaviness this morning. I put on a normal bra this morning, and I think I'll switch to a sports bra soon because this normal one allows for too much movement!!!

(Dare I say that I was super thirsty this morning- when I got home from walking Banana, I had to chug a ginger ale because I was dying to drink something and the coffee was taking too long to brew! Plus I wanted something cold...)

I honestly do not know what to expect. I think I'd be surprised either way, in one respect or another. I'd be surprised if it was a BFN because of the new meds and more objective symptoms. I'd be surprised if it was a BFP because, well, that there is an endangered species around these parts!!

I am continuing to lift all of these things to God. I pray for our little one(s) who might be snuggling in, but above all, I pray to be given a view of God's plan for our family. I know even if He has not blessed us with a baby this cycle, He has blessed us in many other ways, and for those things I raise my hands in praise today. I know that He has great plans for our family, and I am so excited to see what He has in store!!

Can't do it (updated)

I just wrote (and then deleted) a few lines about a totally new symptom I had yesterday afternoon that is pretty much only associated with pregnancy (I'd love to hear your guesses! Ha! Maybe if you guess it, I'll fess up...). But I am just too hesitant to put it on the record right now. I have been so wrong so many times about pregnancy "symptoms".

Does my heart think I'm pregnant? Yes. Combine that with party-pooper intellect, and I'd say I am, oh, 25% sure I'm pregnant.

And even though that's not the most convincing percentage, I found myself thinking again last night about how much this may change my life. I have no idea where or how to go from here. I have never had any reality other than CD1 after the 2ww. It's like me going to my first day of school- I have no idea what to expect.

I really am sort of speechless. I am praying so hard that God will protect any new life He has created, and that either way we'd be graced with a glimpse of His plan for our family soon.

In other news, the insurance finally went to see my car at the shop and they are going to pay to fix it. Yah! I love my car :) And it is a blessing to not have to spend money on a new car right now. I'm hoping that we'll have to be shopping for cribs instead! Ha! And, you know, since God is all-knowing, I'm sure He had that in mind when He prompted the insurance guy to say they'd fix my car. Right??

**

(Update) Ding, ding- none that call me mama got pretty darn close with her guess. And I figured that mentioning a new "symptom" without identifying it goes just as far, if not farther, in inducing hopeful hysteria. Ha! Sorry about that. Just promise me that if AF shows up, you will go out of your way to remind me that I'm not some naive ttc-ing bozo!!!

(TMI ahead!!!) So anyway, yes, yesterday afternoon after a particularly stubborn go at #2, which is not a normal 2ww (or any time) thing for me, and what do I see but some tiny pink specs on the paper!!! I about fell off the throne. Of course then I went to the bathroom three more times in the next 15 minutes, and by the last time, there was nothing more to be seen. And, to be brutally honest, this happened after some lovin' over the weekend, but I refused to put any stock into it at that point.

Now, when you goo.gle this kind of event plus "pregnancy" you get about a zillion hits, all of which I've read in the last 24 hours!!! HA! To be fair and balanced, I tried my darndest to goog.le it with 2ww or LP or "not pregnant" and I haven't come up with anything good...except people who already have the big H, which is not me.

So there you have it. What do you think?

So in addition to lack of normal end-of-2ww headache (I have always said that this will be my indicator...), increasingly sensitive bbs, morning brain fog/tiredness, slight heartburn, random pinchy cramps, sometimes having to pee at night, maybe feeling bad after dinner (can't confirm if this is in my head or not), now I have this brand new shiny symptom that has never come to visit before.

After I posted my original post this morning, I already felt like an idiot, but I have since decided that I have plenty of cause for suspicion- new meds and all. Let's hope there's a little one here to stay!

ETA: It's been a couple hours since I posted my symptom update, and now I am chuckling to myself that no one has told me they have heard of this/that this is a promising thing! Ha! Way to freak me out! Ha! Isn't everyone sitting there refreshing my blog so they can know what the symptom was?! Ha!

Friday Yet?

This week is d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g by.....

I have had no headache! Whoa. I'm sure now that I wrote that, I'll get one today. :-P My heart wants to run away with the idea (that follistim+God might have worked), but my head just can't let that happen at this point. I so much want to be like Sew and write a whole joyful post about how I think I might be pregnant, but I just... can't. I think I am a wuss!! But I have had so many other experiences where I see someone proclaiming something (e.g. pregnancy, hearing God), and then I finally get up the courage to be so bold, and I'm wrong! Ha!! See my heart is sort of two-faced about this, on the one hand, it totally feels that baby's on board, but on the other hand, it is pleading for protection from disappointment. My head is left with the impossible job of balancing those!!!

Probably the earliest I'd test is Sunday (14dpo). But I'm thinking I'll probably chicken out and wait till Monday. Not so much that negative tests make me feel sad anymore, but even more than feeling sad, I feel like an idiot for testing in the first place. Ha! Maybe this time I won't feel silly for testing...

I am still feeling more bloated than normal and tired-er than normal in the mornings, but unlike most other 2ww's, I do not feel as tired in the evenings! Bizarro world!! We shall see what God has in store for us- I know He has gone before us and has prepared a path :)

Jokester

More of the unusual morning sleeeeeeeeepiness this morning. My 2-mile walk with Banana seriously seems like 10 miles. What is up?!

Today I'm 9dpo. I was thinking I sort of do feel a little different, but that is the most subjective statement ever, so it probably doesn't mean anything. The un-pregnant 2ww event that is hopefully not on deck is a slight headache that appears sometime between now and about 11dpo. If I don't get a headache, I will let myself be the eensiest bit suspicious...

I was thinking of how fun it will be, you know, when we get our BFP on Monday, to start telling infertiles to go hit a deer with their car in order to become pregnant... Hahahaha!

Rambling

Thank you all for your prayers and well-wishes!! We are anxiously awaiting what the insurance claims guy has to say about the damages. Since my car is a 2003 with 111k miles on it (what happens when your parents live 11 hours away, and your office is 2.5 hours away...), Mr. A is wondering if it might be totalled. Which would stink, because my car is paid off, but it's kind of out of our hands.

Other than that, I'm 8dpo today. I was on new meds this cycle, so I've been trying to attribute the different feelings I'm having to the new meds instead of getting myself all hyped up. I've been practicing some positive imagery (why not be positive?), and praying for our baby(s) as if he/she/they is/are really here.

Of course 8dpo is still pretty early, but the major difference so far this time is that it has been nearly impossible to wake up since Friday. I'm usually a peppy morning person, but since Friday, when my alarm goes off, I feel like I want to sleep for another 2 hours. Even yesterday, I seriously considered waking Mr. A up to see if he'd take Banana for her walk because I didn't think I could keep my eyes open long enough. So that is the biggest difference relative to historical 2ww's. I am normally a little tired-er in the evenings during the tail end of the 2ww... but I have never experienced this morning exhaustion!!

I am having other normal-er 2ww things, too, but since they've been around before, they are meaningless to me. Ha! That's what you get when you cry wolf, symptoms!!!

As I was falling asleep last night and praying for our little ones and/or that God would simply reveal at least an eensy teensy bit of His plan for our family, I was reminded of the enormity for which I'm praying. It's not like I'm a kid who's praying that it'll snow on Christmas. If God answers "yes" to my prayer that we've been blessed with a baby this cycle, life does not go on as normal. We are talking life-changing prayer here, people!! Life. Changing. You are never going to wake up the same again. It is never just going to be you and your husband anymore. It's kind of humbling when you think of the magnitude of what you're praying for, especially when you've been praying for so long and you haven't gotten a "yes" yet. Sometimes I think that because I have gotten so used to praying for children in our family, I just rattle through the request as I do with other normal daily intentions. As much as the prayer for our family's safety is always answered (especially this weekend!), the prayer for children is not answered. Sadly enough, it kind of fosters some complacency, I guess. And although I continue to pray for both intentions, it was highlighted for my heart last night that I should renew a sense of passion while praying for our children because they are going to change. our. lives.

I think it's hard for anyone (fertile or infertile) to really grasp how children will change their lives. But for infertiles, we pray for so long to become pregnant and finally hold our happy, healthy baby(s) in our arms, and when the prayers goes unfulfilled for so long, the actual idea and/or reality of the prayer being fulfilled becomes really abstract. At least that's the way it is for me. Like sure, I would give anything to welcome our first baby(s) in July, but unless I really think about all the ways the baby(s) would change our lives, my initial thoughts are limited to just the superficial "finally, we'll have a baby!!". As if it'd be like bringing home a new lamp for the family room.

Of course our hearts are longing for all the good life changes that come with welcoming a baby and even the ones that are less desirable (lack of sleep, less time for "us"). When I pray this week that our kids will be happy and healthy and know God, I will also be praying that He'll bless our marriage and us as parents, and that we'll always try to praise Him and be faithful (even when we got 2 hours of sleep last night) because He is always faithful to us. I will pray expecting and knowing that I will see God's hand in the expansion of our family. It's kind of an exciting thing to do!! I'm sure whatever He's got up His sleeve is going to blow me away...

(ETA: I hope it doesn't seem like I am blase about praying for our kids. I definitely pray all.the.time for our kids, but sometimes I fail to realize the depth for what I'm praying. I guess it's because I'm human- hope I'm not alone?!)

Dazed

So the insurance has been called, the rental car procured, the fix-it shop choice reinforced as a good one, and the Banana returned to her home from the kennel.

Whew.

Oh yah, and the Mr. A is off to hunt down a deer of his own. (With a bow, instead of a vehicle.)

And I am just exhausted.

Not to mention, at 6dpo, my top is continuing to become more tender, and I'm still experiencing some mild cramping with some sharp ones thrown in from time to time for good (insanity-inducing) measure.

I haven't cleaned up from breakfast (I mean, lunch, since we didn't resurface till 10am after hitting the hay at 4am), but since Mr. A is gone hunting for a while, I'm feeling like leaving the dishes alone for a while.

My good friend K texted me "OMG. Protect the tummy at all costs!!" after I texted her that we'd (I'd) hit a deer. Definitely brought a smile to my face, but of course I'd already prayed that God would protect any little one(s) who was(were) trying to snuggle in at the same time we collided with the wildlife or shortly thereafter. Neither me or Mr. A are feeling any pain/soreness, and I honestly didn't think the thud was that bad, so I am just praying that the little one(s) is(are) safely tucked away without any effects thereto.

I am really feeling just tired right now, that's all. But in the face of this unfortunate occurrence, I have many things to be thankful for. When we were riding with the really friendly tow truck driver back home eeeeearly this morning, I found myself thinking, wow, I prayed for protection. Enter the Holy Spirit: "You are safe, aren't you?" Good point...

Some things to be thankful for:
1. Our safety
2. That no one else was hurt
3. That we were still in our state, instead of 300 miles into our journey (643 miles one way)
4. That I have been able to keeep up my AAA-P.lus membership, so the 101-mile tow at 1am (that we only waited 20 minutes for) was totally free for us (the awesome driver said he wouldn't charge for the extra 1 mile over the 100 free ones)
5. That the airbags did not go off and I didn't run off the road
6. That we still had cell-phone service so we could call for help (tow truck driver said we'd have lost service in another 5 miles)
7. That I have good insurance that will cover the damages and a rental car for 24 days (obviously we hope we won't need it that long!!)
8. That the kennel let us pick up Banana today and only charged us for 2 days instead of the reservation which was for 4 days
9. That we love coming home
10. That I have a bag of orchard applies freshly picked last weekend if I need to do some therapy baking today :)
11. That I was with my wonderful husband when I hit the deer- his support and composure was so important to me
12. That hubby's trip home from CA was safe
13. That I now have his laptop to read up on all your blogs and start commenting again!!!

Please join me in praising God for His protection and hand on us the last 24 hours!!

Home Already?

Although we are safely home (yes, at 3am after leaving at 11pm), my car is not safely home, after a run-in with a DEER 10 miles before the border... The front is all bashed up, but we ourselves were just a little flustered, and luckily I have been paying my AAA dues, so the 100 mile tow home was free!!

More tomorrow- not in the best frame of mind for more writing!

Short Update

I have figured out how to pull up my blog on our tv and use our wireless keyboard and mouse!!

It is a little awkward to use, though, so I'm not making any promises on how many comments I'll get to leave you all, but I have read the latest updates, and my heart goes out to those of you who are having tough weeks. Congrats to The Wife on getting a surprise BFP!! I sure hope I can continue adding people to the Baby Bump category!!

I am doing well (except my foot is falling asleep because Banana is laying on it- she is so cute)! Don't tell anyone I had apple pie for breakfast- I made it for Mr. A before he left yesterday evening, and of course I can't let it go to waste!!! I am a little more crampy than usual and the bbs are a tad more tender and I am a little extra bloated so I think that puts pressure on my bladder so I have had to pee more. Of course keep in mind that I'm only 2dpo so I'm attributing all of this to the trigger and/or progesterone at this point. God willing, it will be attributed to a little one soon!!

I just watched the Dugg.ar special when Anna gives birth. I cried. She did such a beautiful job. Gosh. It kind of makes me want to have a home birth. I think I need to spend some time in prayer after I get done writing this- my heart is so full of hopeful longing.

Begin Follistim 2ww

Well, as much as I wanted an email confirmation when the eggies left on their journey, they seem to have forgotten to give me a heads up. Hope they don't forget their rendezvous with the boys!!! Hopefully they were so excited about meeting up with the boys, since they've matured and all, that they didn't have enough time to think about anything else. Thank you all for praying for us!!!! I have a huge peace about this cycle :)

I have a stuffed nose this morning, so obviously fertilization has already taken place. HA!!

Mr. A is leaving tonight actually, because the airport he's flying out of just over an hour from here, and instead of getting up at 3am tomorrow, he can drive down tonight and stay with his coworker who lives nearer the airport. He wouldn't drive down tonight if it was more important that we were "together" tomorrow morning, but since I triggered on Saturday morning, and we've definitely covered our bases since then, including a planned big sendoff tonight (haha), I don't think he needs to hang around till tomorrow if it'll make his life easier to leave tonight.

We are so thankful that this cycle has gone so well in every way so far, and we're just praying our hearts out that God has big plans for the rest of it. It was tough to place the potentially not-so-great timing in His hands when I found out of Mr. A's business trip this week, but I think it was good for me to turn this cycle over to God at that early stage (even before it began!!!). Now we wait for Him to knock our socks off!!!

Unfortunately, Mr. A has to take the laptop with him, and I'm not really supposed to post from my work computer, so I'm not sure I'll get to make any more posts until next Tuesday (we have a wedding this weekend way out of town, and then Monday is going to be hectic/exhausting). Also I'm not sure how much I'll get to check up on all of your blogs, but please know that you're in my prayers (especially those of you who're at the end of the 2ww).

Impending O

U/s yesterday went great! If I remember right, I have a 20mm, a 17mm, and a 16mm, with a runty 13mm on the left. What is up, left ovary!? AND, remember how I was saying I'm so impressed with my RE? I was the only patient who needed to come in yesterday, and the nurse practitioner came in just for ME! Wow. Maybe this happens all the time with RE's, but I am seriously impressed.

The best part of the ultrasound was that she goes "Wow, you have a perfect uterus. If you ever get down on yourself, remember that your uterus is beautiful!!!"

Ha! Alright, I'll do it!! Ha!

Now if we could only FILL it....

Also a great part was that she was totally fine with giving me the trigger, since I was having ridiculous worries about mixing the hcg. So she mixed it up as easily as if she was mixing up pancake batter. Excellent!

So O is supposedly happening about 930pm tonight. Do not disturb...

Follistim Day 7!

So tomorrow, the friend I met last week for coffee and her husband and daughter are coming for dinner!! I am so excited!! I am going to make lasagna!!!!!!!! For dessert, I've been trying to think of what to make, and I have all the ingredients for pumpkin pie, but I don't have any cool whip. If you went to someone's house for dinner and they served pumpkin pie with no cool whip for dessert, would you think that was weird? Mr. A is not a cool whip kind of guy, so he maintains that cool whip is totally unnecessary, but since I could eat half a container by myself, I always look forward to having it with pumpkin pie......

Not that buying a tub of cool whip is out of the question- I'm just tying to avoid going to the store!!

Other than that, work is going nowhere this week. With all the appointments and researching about who had what success after how many cycles of follistim, I've been pretty distracted. Good thing Mr. A is hunting after work tonight- I need to put in some extra hours!!

Speaking of follistim, I am feeling a little more soreness in the ovary area today, so I'm hoping those follicles are making some great eggies. If I am doing my math right and they are progressing normally, I should have about a 22mm, 17mm, and 16mm ready to go at trigger time tomorrow :) I think that is pretty decent, right? Hope there will be partying and hook.in' up when Mr. A's boys arrive!!!

The follistim shots themselves have been going really smoothly! Will keep you posted how the hcg goes tomorrow- my RE is going to give me a teeny needle so I can do it subcutaneously instead of IM. After tonight's follistim, I will have 25iu left in the cartridge with an unused 900iu in the fridge! I am trying to decide if I should go ahead and order the next round of follistim (takes about a week to get here), or if (since I still have 900iu), should I wait until CD1 (of course praying there isn't one) to order the next round, in the miraculous blessed event that I won't need another round?? I figure even if they bump me up to 225iu per night, if I order a new round on CD1, my 900iu cartridge will last me till CD7, and hopefully the meds would arrive that day.... decisions, decisions.

Just wanted to reiterate, I am praying that there won't be another cycle...until next fall....

And finally, a prayer request for my friend-of-a-friend D. They connected with a birthmom through a fellow church member. Birthmom had originally considered abortion, but fellow church member talked to her about adoption and she decided she wanted to place her baby for adoption. Enter my friend D. D felt very strongly that this was the baby that God had intended for her and her hubby, and the birthmom also expressed interest in placing baby with D. D accompanied birthmom to her first prenatal appointment yesterday, and to their utter devastation, there was no baby in the sac. All parties involved are obviously crushed, so please keep them in your prayers as everyone heals. The birthmom is not a Christian, so D is amazingly looking beyond her own grief to use this opportunity to minister to the birthmom and maybe plant a seed about living for Christ!! It's a very raw reminder that God uses everything for good if we give Him that opportunity.

u/s Update

Have I mentioned that I am so impressed with my RE? His practice is part of a major university health system, and I am honestly thinking of switching to the ob/gyn down the hall from him... you know, after I get pregnant (this cycle). HA!! I never have to wait more than 10 minutes!! Today his schedule was jam packed, and the office is just efficiently humming along. LOVE IT!!! Even though it's a 40-minute drive, that won't be a problem when I'm in labor, right?

Anyway, the u/s went fine- my left ovary is still very camera shy and the smaller of the two, but I have one 12mm follicle on the left, and a 17mm and 13mm follicle on the right ovary (show off)!!! Also my lining looks good :) I am going to keep the same dosage of follistim for two more nights, have another u/s on Saturday morning, and most likely trigger on Saturday morning after the u/s. (I have taken 5 shots, and he said most people need about 7 before trigger, so I think I'm right on schedule.) YAH!! He says that it is almost crazy how people usually ovulate almost exactly 36 hours after the trigger, so O-time should be Sunday night.

Let's get this party started!

I am so full of praise right now. Among others, praise that I'm not overstimming, praise that our timing should be pretty darn great, praise for this gorgeous day, and praise for medical technology and innovation that makes all these appointments/treatments possible. Thank you, God!!! I pray for continued faith to seek Your will in all of this and to remember that You are in control here.

I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted!!! (Job 42:2)

All Good

Nurse called yesterday- levels look good, so I am to keep the same follistim dosage! Ultrasound tomorrow at 1030am!! Please keep praying that God's will be done with this medicine, (that we'll conceive and welcome our first child(ren) in July), and that I continue to respond just right- not too much or too little!!!

Mr. A and I have come up with our first guesses for baby names- a boy and a girl- come on, twins! Ha!

Over the Top!

Venting Vagina is one of my new favorite reads, and she nominated me for this award!! I definitely recommend adding her to your blog list!

Rules

1. You Can Only Use One Word!

2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers

3. Alert them that you have given them this award!

4. Have Fun!

The Fun Part

1. Where is your cell phone? Counter

2. Your hair? Medium

3. Your mother? Micromanager

4. Your father? Exemplary

5. Your favorite food? Broccoli

6. Your dream last night? Reminiscent

7. Your favorite drink? Coffee

8. Your dream/goal? Parenting

9. What room are you in? Office

10. Your hobby? Cooking

11. Your fear? Losing

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Kindergarten

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren’t? Supermodel

15. Muffins? Blueberry

16. Wish list item? Babies

17. Where did you grow up? South

18. Last thing you did? Haircut

19. What are you wearing? Jeans

20. Your TV? Off

21. Your pets? Pup

22. Friends? Few

23. Your life? Blessed

24. Your mood? Calm

25. Missing someone? Friend

26. Vehicle? Nissan

27. Something you’re not wearing? Makeup

28. Your favorite store? BBB

29. Your favorite color? Blue

30. When was the last time you laughed? Afternoon

31. Last time you cried? September

32. Your best friend? Husband

33. One place that I go to over and over? Starbucks

34. One person who emails me regularly? Sister(s)

35. Favorite place to eat? Panera

**

This was really fun! I think because it is short and sweet! The six blogs I’d like to award are:

Last American Girl Standing

Mis(sed)conception

Steps to Baby

Making Me Mom

While I'm Waiting

a + b, waiting for c

Shot at Dinner

Shots at (before, really) dinner are going well! And I don't even have a bruise from the one last night! I must be getting good ;-)

For those of you who use HCG (trigger or during LP), a few questions:

• What is your dosage?
• Do you inject it subcutaneously or IM?
• Do you have to mix it yourself?

I am trying to slowly prep myself for the HCG trigger (possibly/hopefully this weekend?), which I have to mix myself/ourselves. Also, the needle they sent with it is an IM needle, but my nurse said on Friday that I can take it subcutaneously, but I am worried that if I stick the needle all the way in, like you're supposed to do with IM, I'll puncture my stomach or something! Ha!

And also, as far as a shot at dinner is concerned, I am soliciting for quick, easy, and cheap dinner suggestions. Well, they don't even have to be easy ;-) Ha! I am apparently getting into a rut, and Mr. A has encouraged me to try some new things. Here are his criteria:

• No cream soups or cream sauces
• No pork chops, and not a whole lot of pork otherwise
• Not a huge focus on chicken
• Likes turkey and beef most
• Open to fish, rice, beans, or veggie entrees
• Sandwiches are an option

I put the last one on there because, to me, sandwiches are a dinner cop out. I like to pride myself as a wife who cooks every night for dinner, and to me, "fixing" sandwiches is not really cooking and then I lump myself into the category of wives that don't cook. Not that that is necessarily bad (I know not everyone loves to cook like I do!!), but Mr. A's mom never cooked, and they always reflect/tease her about this as if they always wanted her to, and I don't want to have them be able to tease me about the same!

Anyway, I'd love to hear your favorites to spice up my menu/shopping list!!

(PS. My friend T emailed me this morning to say that the birth grandmother changed her stipulations, and that the agency has placed the baby girl. I was so praying that she might be the baby for my adopting readers, but I will certainly pass on any other opportunities that I hear about!!! T has really been encouraged by this whole situation, in terms of getting the word out that she's adopting to whoever she comes into contact with- this baby girl was the daughter of an acquaintance of an acquaintance of her friends in Florida! So I guess, I encourage you who're adopting to really let everyone you know in on that you're adopting!!)

First shot/Adoption Opp.

My first shot last night went fine! I looked at the video that came with the follistim, but when it came down to the time, I asked Mr. A to read me the directions in the booklet. He was cracking jokes about how many pages of instructions there were- "what are we, launching a nu.clear mi.ssile?!" Ha!

The injection site stung a little right after the shot, and I have a little bruise this morning, but otherwise I found myself looking forward to my next shot- even at 630am this morning! (Don't worry, I'll wait till tonight...) I feel great today- so far no side effects to speak of.

Mr. A awesomely helped me winterize the front flower beds this afternoon (not like it is truly "winter" but it's a good day for some upkeep)- I transplanted and divided some perennials I had in the backyard and I moved some existing flowers around somewhat, and we put down a layer of newspaper and mulch to hopefully help with the weeds next year. We're taking a breather and then we'll head out to clean up the weeds/mess that we left on the sidewalk!

My friend T (who is adopting but just in the first stages) received a call from her friend (who is adopting) who received a call from an acquaintance that there is a 2-day old baby girl in FL who has no one to adopt her. (My friend T (and me) are heartbroken for this little girl, but T doesn't have a completed homestudy yet..) The birth grandmother wants an open adoption, but the birthmom does not appear to care one way or the other. Apparently the birthmom was working with an agency, but the birth grandmother wants an open adoption, and no waiting family in the agency wants an open adoption. I'm not sure how the situation has changed since yesterday, but if any of you who are adopting are interested, email me and I can try to put you in touch with someone who knows more!

First u/s

The u/s went great- my uterus and both ovaries look perfect (gotta love a descriptive nurse practioner! haha!)!! The right one jumped right into view, but the left one was harder to find- it is more in the middle than on the left. In the process of finding the left one, I got to see my bowels, though (ooooOOOOO!!). So it was kind of neat to see them wiggling around. I certainly don't feel them wiggling!

I am good to go to start injections tomorrow- 125 units every night! I go back for bloodwork on Tuesday and another u/s on Thursday. Hopefully we can trigger on Saturday or Sunday since Mr. A skips town early the following Tuesday morning!!

The nurse said that the trigger shot can now be given in your stomach, so I think Mr. A is off the hook...

I am so excited about this cycle!!!

After my appointment, I had coffee with a friend I hadn't talked to in a while and her gorgeous 11-month old daughter who my friend and her hubby adopted last year. The little girl is so beautiful!!! And such a good baby- my friend and I talked for almost 2 hours at a coffee shop, and the little girl was awesome the whole time! I am so excited because my friend just moved closer, so now we can see each other way more often!! She is a miscarriage survivor and struggled with IF for 2 years before they adopted their daughter last year. She is so compassionate and sensitive to my struggle- I sure hope God blesses her extra special for her kindness!

I sure hope I can learn how to to do the shots :) Lord, please use this new medication to bless us with children!!!

New

New cycle.
New medication.
New hope.
New month.
New trust.
New appointments and procedures.
New love for my own pot of hazelnut coffee.
New appreciation for Advil.
New bone (says Banana).