BFCD1

Monday, October 26, 2009

Mmmm, hazelnut coffee....

Yep, bright CD1 bright and early today. Time to order follistim refills, I guess!

I thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. Please accept my apology for thinking a new symptom in the 2ww could mean anything but my cycle's twisted sense of humor and attempt to shake things up for "fun". I really wish that I could leave myself alone during the 2ww- I am beginning to loathe those 14 days. I hate feeling things during the 2ww- I wish I was numb to whatever is (not) happening down there because whether it feels like AF or not, there is nothing I can do about it, and it is impossible to be such a helpless bystander to my own body.

I am bummed of course and praying, at the moment, that my baseline u/s (tomorrow?) will look good so we can do another cycle before Thanksgiving. I also continue to gush prayers about begging to see at least a small part of God's plan for our family. What am I supposed to be doing, Lord?

27 comments:

Sew said...

I am so sorry!!!! Thanks for letting us bare the load with you! DANG IT!!!!

Go follistim!!!!!!

Praying for Hope said...

At least AF didn't leave you hanging all day, but I'm sorry it's not what you were hoping for. Enjoy your coffee and maybe add a nice dash of brandy to it just because you can.

Matt and Jenny said...

so very sorry :( what a bummer of a monday morning. like she said above, at least you didn't have to wait all day. BOO! (((hugs)))

lowfatlady said...

*hugs* I'm sorry.

prayerfuljourney said...

Enjoy that coffee....I sometimes wonder if the meds make our bodies think we are prego...even when we are not. I know when I did the follitis.m meds...I kept wondering for I had so many different things going on. I guess God wants you to be surprised so He's not going to make it obvious. Hope the u/s goes well and you can continue on this path. Blessings!!!

Ann - Building a Nest said...

I'm so sorry. I know it's such a disappointment.

A baby for Al? said...

I'm so sorry :-(

Lisa said...

I am praying for you too...those stupid CD1 days...

Hillary said...

NO! I am so sorry :( I hear you about hating those two weeks...

Praying for you today, friend.

Shanny said...

I hate this for you, I'm sorry :(

Erica said...

I'm so so sorry :(

keep calm and carry on... said...

ugh.. so sorry to hear about the return of AF.

hope your u/s is clear so you can start up again.

TeeJay said...

What a bummer. I'm really sorry. You have a great outlook on things though so kudos to you! I hope you get another cycle in before Thanksgiving!

The Martins said...

A,

hang in there girl! God is still good! He's for you and he knows your hurting and hurts with you. He has something wonderful for you, and even though it's hard to understand his timing....we just have to trust "that he is working everything out for our good."

Rach said...

So sorry to hear the news. MY CD1 was yesterday so I know the feeling. My husband and I went for pizza and beer for dinner. I have not had a drink in 6 months. Boulvard Wheat with a lemon hit the spot.

Lets keep on moving forward! :)

Anonymous said...

:(

Crap. I'm sorry.

-Cathy

Scrambled Egg said...

I have to say that I'm utterly surprised. I just had that feeling that you were pg. So much for feelings! I have to say though, you have been such an inspiration to me as of late. Your utter dependence on God and your faith has made quite an impact on me. Thanks girl! Keep your chin up!

Grace in my Heart said...

Oh A, I'm so sorry! *hugs*

Melissa said...

Woah, seriously? I'm so sorry! Love your optimism - you rock!

AplusB said...

I am so sorry this wasn't the cycle. You have a great attitude, though, so keep your head up!!

Some how, some way, some day said...

So sorry this wasn't it. We'll all keep praying for you! Sunday was my CD1 so I am feeling your anguish....

Baby Hungry said...

I am so so sorry. This whole journey of ups and downs is horrible. You go from one extremem emotion to another at the flip of a dime. Sending hugs to you this week!

JC said...

I'm sorry! I pray it works really soon for you!!

Hannah's Song said...

Blah! What a bummer...that first day is always the worst...

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry!! I hate how those phantom symptoms trick us!!

sarahs51 said...

I am not saying sorry... sorry's always made me cry when I get AF. So on words and up words and curse and pray a little every time you give that shot!

The Wife said...

I'm so sorry you're having another CD1. This is crappy. I was really hoping this was the cycle for you. I'll be praying that your baseline u/s goes well.