Can't do it (updated)

I just wrote (and then deleted) a few lines about a totally new symptom I had yesterday afternoon that is pretty much only associated with pregnancy (I'd love to hear your guesses! Ha! Maybe if you guess it, I'll fess up...). But I am just too hesitant to put it on the record right now. I have been so wrong so many times about pregnancy "symptoms".

Does my heart think I'm pregnant? Yes. Combine that with party-pooper intellect, and I'd say I am, oh, 25% sure I'm pregnant.

And even though that's not the most convincing percentage, I found myself thinking again last night about how much this may change my life. I have no idea where or how to go from here. I have never had any reality other than CD1 after the 2ww. It's like me going to my first day of school- I have no idea what to expect.

I really am sort of speechless. I am praying so hard that God will protect any new life He has created, and that either way we'd be graced with a glimpse of His plan for our family soon.

In other news, the insurance finally went to see my car at the shop and they are going to pay to fix it. Yah! I love my car :) And it is a blessing to not have to spend money on a new car right now. I'm hoping that we'll have to be shopping for cribs instead! Ha! And, you know, since God is all-knowing, I'm sure He had that in mind when He prompted the insurance guy to say they'd fix my car. Right??

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(Update) Ding, ding- none that call me mama got pretty darn close with her guess. And I figured that mentioning a new "symptom" without identifying it goes just as far, if not farther, in inducing hopeful hysteria. Ha! Sorry about that. Just promise me that if AF shows up, you will go out of your way to remind me that I'm not some naive ttc-ing bozo!!!

(TMI ahead!!!) So anyway, yes, yesterday afternoon after a particularly stubborn go at #2, which is not a normal 2ww (or any time) thing for me, and what do I see but some tiny pink specs on the paper!!! I about fell off the throne. Of course then I went to the bathroom three more times in the next 15 minutes, and by the last time, there was nothing more to be seen. And, to be brutally honest, this happened after some lovin' over the weekend, but I refused to put any stock into it at that point.

Now, when you goo.gle this kind of event plus "pregnancy" you get about a zillion hits, all of which I've read in the last 24 hours!!! HA! To be fair and balanced, I tried my darndest to goog.le it with 2ww or LP or "not pregnant" and I haven't come up with anything good...except people who already have the big H, which is not me.

So there you have it. What do you think?

So in addition to lack of normal end-of-2ww headache (I have always said that this will be my indicator...), increasingly sensitive bbs, morning brain fog/tiredness, slight heartburn, random pinchy cramps, sometimes having to pee at night, maybe feeling bad after dinner (can't confirm if this is in my head or not), now I have this brand new shiny symptom that has never come to visit before.

After I posted my original post this morning, I already felt like an idiot, but I have since decided that I have plenty of cause for suspicion- new meds and all. Let's hope there's a little one here to stay!

ETA: It's been a couple hours since I posted my symptom update, and now I am chuckling to myself that no one has told me they have heard of this/that this is a promising thing! Ha! Way to freak me out! Ha! Isn't everyone sitting there refreshing my blog so they can know what the symptom was?! Ha!