Can't do it (updated)

Friday, October 23, 2009

I just wrote (and then deleted) a few lines about a totally new symptom I had yesterday afternoon that is pretty much only associated with pregnancy (I'd love to hear your guesses! Ha! Maybe if you guess it, I'll fess up...). But I am just too hesitant to put it on the record right now. I have been so wrong so many times about pregnancy "symptoms".

Does my heart think I'm pregnant? Yes. Combine that with party-pooper intellect, and I'd say I am, oh, 25% sure I'm pregnant.

And even though that's not the most convincing percentage, I found myself thinking again last night about how much this may change my life. I have no idea where or how to go from here. I have never had any reality other than CD1 after the 2ww. It's like me going to my first day of school- I have no idea what to expect.

I really am sort of speechless. I am praying so hard that God will protect any new life He has created, and that either way we'd be graced with a glimpse of His plan for our family soon.

In other news, the insurance finally went to see my car at the shop and they are going to pay to fix it. Yah! I love my car :) And it is a blessing to not have to spend money on a new car right now. I'm hoping that we'll have to be shopping for cribs instead! Ha! And, you know, since God is all-knowing, I'm sure He had that in mind when He prompted the insurance guy to say they'd fix my car. Right??

**

(Update) Ding, ding- none that call me mama got pretty darn close with her guess. And I figured that mentioning a new "symptom" without identifying it goes just as far, if not farther, in inducing hopeful hysteria. Ha! Sorry about that. Just promise me that if AF shows up, you will go out of your way to remind me that I'm not some naive ttc-ing bozo!!!

(TMI ahead!!!) So anyway, yes, yesterday afternoon after a particularly stubborn go at #2, which is not a normal 2ww (or any time) thing for me, and what do I see but some tiny pink specs on the paper!!! I about fell off the throne. Of course then I went to the bathroom three more times in the next 15 minutes, and by the last time, there was nothing more to be seen. And, to be brutally honest, this happened after some lovin' over the weekend, but I refused to put any stock into it at that point.

Now, when you goo.gle this kind of event plus "pregnancy" you get about a zillion hits, all of which I've read in the last 24 hours!!! HA! To be fair and balanced, I tried my darndest to goog.le it with 2ww or LP or "not pregnant" and I haven't come up with anything good...except people who already have the big H, which is not me.

So there you have it. What do you think?

So in addition to lack of normal end-of-2ww headache (I have always said that this will be my indicator...), increasingly sensitive bbs, morning brain fog/tiredness, slight heartburn, random pinchy cramps, sometimes having to pee at night, maybe feeling bad after dinner (can't confirm if this is in my head or not), now I have this brand new shiny symptom that has never come to visit before.

After I posted my original post this morning, I already felt like an idiot, but I have since decided that I have plenty of cause for suspicion- new meds and all. Let's hope there's a little one here to stay!

ETA: It's been a couple hours since I posted my symptom update, and now I am chuckling to myself that no one has told me they have heard of this/that this is a promising thing! Ha! Way to freak me out! Ha! Isn't everyone sitting there refreshing my blog so they can know what the symptom was?! Ha!

19 comments:

Ann - Building a Nest said...

I am checking on you every day with such excitement!

I'm guessing morning sickness.

Hey, the first day of school was scary, but remember how it changed your life and became such a part of your daily life that you could never remember NOT going to school. It's all going to be just fine.

Melissa said...

Since I am in the 2WW, I think I have felt myself up more than my husband. I tell myself, if my boobs are sore, then just maybe I'm pregnant.

You're right, my heart too, thinks I'm pregnant. I believe that you too are pregnant - God telling the insurance company to pay for the car because, you know...car seats, cribs and college {gulp!} won't pay for themselves.

As life changing (and scary) as babies may be - I hope it happens to you soon!

Melissa said...

p.s. my guess is peeing a lot?

Matt and Jenny said...

i'm really really hopeful for you!!! come on, baby!

TeeJay said...

I'm hoping is't morning sickness because almost anything else could be pms symptoms, too. I hope you are feeling sick to your stomach and that it's because you have a baby in there!

Sew said...

Are you nauseated? This is killing me! Spill the beans! What is it! :)

EEEEkkkk!!!!!!!!!

sarahs51 said...

I bet it is Heartburn. That one month had me convinced because I never get heartburn and all of a sudden during out 2ww (last year some time) I got Heartburn and knew it had to be a sign.

Praying for Hope said...

No guesses, just wishes for good luck.

A baby for Al? said...

Whatever it is, I hope it's proof positive of a lil baby that snuggled in.

Good luck :-)

callmemama said...

Oh...I'm getting more and more excited every day :). I can't wait to hear what the new symptom is.

Haha, the first thing that came to mind is constipation. Sorry :).

Erica said...

I honestly can't think of any symptoms that haven't been mentioned alreday...but whatever it is, I hope and pray that it is, indeed, a sign of a wee one making him/herself at home! I'll be checking in often!

Hillary said...

Ohhh, I am so hopeful for you!!! I have no idea about the new symptoms, but it sounds like a good sign! And I totally understand wanting to curb the hopefulness...it's so difficult to be let down. But know that your other blogging friends and I are sold out hopeful for you. And praying!!

Baby Hungry said...

Whatever your symptom is I hope it is the baby and that the baby hangs around for 9 months!!

AplusB said...

I really hope your *feelings* prove that you ARE pregnant! Hope this is the cycle!

Sew said...

Those are a lot of symptoms!!! EEEKKK!!! I am so excited!!!!

Erica said...

Yes, in fact, I have had your blog open all day, refreshing it several times to find out if you were going to share your symptom! It all sounds so promising, really. Lord, let it be so!

Marla.z said...

Sounds like implantation spotting to me. Am I right?

the misfit said...

Torturous, but exciting. I have decided I am willing to let you go to the other side (I can get a little possessive of my infertile people, I usually have to get used to the idea). So you are permitted to be pregnant. There, see how much more likely that makes everything?

ventingvagina said...

ooo, exciting! i have lots of hope for you this cycle! sending you lots of *positive* thoughts. :)

p.s. i nominated you for a kreativ blogger award. silly, but kinda fun.