Calm

That is how I feel. Earlier today, I was thinking about how, just a while ago I felt like I had no direction in our/my journey to parenthood, literally, spinning like a top, everything zooming by. And dare I say it, I honestly feel like it is not going to be long now before we will be blessed with new life. I try and try not to get my hopes up, but it is something I can't shake. I guess that is a good thing, right?

And as much as I feel excited anticipation of what the next few months will hold, I feel remarkably calm and at peace right now. I sort of feel like God is allowing me this respite from the day-to-day turmoil of trying to conceive (especially during the last two weeks of every cycle!) before whatever big thing is coming next. I hesitate to describe it as the "calm before the storm", because mostly I think storm has a negative connotation, and of course as a human, I'd rather not think that right now is peachy keen because in a month there will be some catastrophe. But of course, who am I to know what is coming next, and even if it is something big that God is preparing me for, there is by no means any heavenly guarantee that it some a good something big (judging from Sew's time with Cl.omid this cycle , my first cycle on Cl.omid is scaring me a little!) But let's hope it's a good something big.

But I do feel as though I am being given these two weeks as a time of rest, rejuvenation, and relaxation. And I am so thankful for this time- I already feel refreshed, hoping to embrace with trust in Him whatever God has next for me.