My Matrix/First Clomid Musings

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Misfit posted about making one of these recently so I thought I'd give it a try! Here is me in 16 squares. I think it came out pretty accurate!

In other news, I took my first cl.omid pill last night, and so far so good!!! I can't imagine that people wake up the next morning feeling different, but I thought I'd just put that out there. Looking back on the journey this far, I am so glad that someone found something amiss with my test results. Mr. A and I were talking last night about how the hope for this cycle has the potential to be out of this world, but we are going to try our best to not let it run wild. God, be our light!!!

It also struck me this morning on my walk with Banana, that I am now one of them who is on fertility drugs. I think because I haven't ever had to take any medicine on a regular basis, I sort of view "those people" as in their own category or something. It's not a bad category or anything, just something I had always viewed with a detached interest. If someone were to ask me if I am on fertility drugs, I think my first gut response would be, "no, I'm just on cl.omid!". Um, hello. So in some ways, I think I'm experiencing a small paradigm shift in my awareness of the fertility medication world. Up until now, when I heard about people taking fertility drugs, I always thought of the people taking them as kind of unfortunate celebrities. Like, it is totally sad that they need fertility drugs, but how great would it be to have problems that could be fixed with medication- those people have it so glamorous and easy! Now, of course, I know that there is nothing really glamorous or even sad, really! While I am excited that this medication (along with good ol' Heavenly Father) could help us bring our first baby into the world, I don't really want people to look at me with raised eyebrows if they find out I'm taking clo.mid. That being said, it's an inclination of mine to not mention the medication. But that being said, how is society going to deal with the "ohhhh" response to "yes, I'm taking fertility drugs" if we don't get the word out that we're just regular people who have a known ailment who're taking medication to try to fix the ailment! So I hereby promise to do my part in desensitizing Am.erica to cl.omid by unflinchingly admitting its involvement in my life when asked.

That is probably enough ramblings. I should probably get to work while I still feel normal in case cl.omid makes me crazy next week! I was chuckling to myself yesterday about how probably un-wise it is to go barelling up to Vermont with my hubby, my sisters, and their other halves in an RV on my first cycle of clo.mid. Ha!


Praying for Hope said...

The Clomid might make your family trip more interesting. Take pride in the Clomid! Actually, I'd love to be on it if only to feel like I'm doing something.

the misfit said...

How much do I love it that you worked IF into your mosaic! That's awesome.

Good luck on clomid. I think I might ask to be switched to that next cycle to telling people about it, I haven't thought about it a whole lot, but I think I would probably say that I have a hormone deficiency (true - hmm, I might specify progesterone, otherwise people might think I'm a transsexual - ?) and I'm taking medicine to get it rebalanced. Because I think the general perception of fertility drugs is that you take them and they magic you some twins, and that's what people (including us!) are reacting to, right?

sunshin said...

Hi! Good luck with your clomid. I too woke up on the first morning after taking my first pill and wondered if I would feel different too, but the symptoms didn't start kicking in til I took 2 or 3 pills! Boy were those symptoms fun, NOT!!! I also kinda felt embarrassed to be on "fertility drugs". It was really hard for me to bring up with my close girl friends or mom and sister. And just saying the words "fertility drugs" felt like I was swearing or saying something racist, etc. Anyways, just wanted to leave a comment that you are not alone. Good luck to you.

Hillary said...

I love it -- one of those!! You are, but hopefully only for a short time now :)